128 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Boats.
"I can’t control the wind, but I can adjust my sails."
"There’s nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the entire Navy to your kids and watching them all slowly realize that the one thing you’re making fun of is not a boat."
"The best part of a sailboat is that it has a hull that keeps the dangerous things out. Like land."
"Boats: because they are not made of cardboard."
"I hate the beach. I’m going to go fucking to sea. Maybe I’ll be on a boat, a big one. Who knows, maybe even a ship."
"A ship is always referred to as ‘she’ because it costs so much to keep one in paint and powder."
"Why did the boat break up with the paddles? Because they weren’t really rowing in the same direction."
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"The sea is in my blood, and not just because I drank too much saltwater."
"If you can’t find a kind word, come sit by me on my boat."
"An optimist sees the glass half full; a pessimist, half empty. A boat owner sees it as an opportunity for a leak."
"I don’t need therapy. I just need to spend time on my boat."
"Chuck Norris doesn’t need a life jacket. Water needs a Chuck Norris jacket."
"Sailboats and relationships are much the same; both require a firm hand and a gentle touch."
"When it comes to sailing, there are two types of people: those who love it and those who are still a bit seasick."
"You know you're a sailor when your bank account has only one number: zero."
"The one who knows how to sail is someone who makes it look easy, just like not going to work on boat days."
"Caution: this boat may cause sudden bouts of happiness and a disregard for your responsibilities."
"The ocean is like a good book – you can never finish; you just don’t want to leave."
"In the end, we are all just whispering seabirds, searching for our boats."
"Some of the best memories are made in flip-flops and on boats."
"There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
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"The happiest days of a sailor's life are the day he buys the boat and the day he sells it."
"If you think a boat is expensive, try getting stuck on an island with no boat."
"Water you doing? Let’s go sailing!"
"The boat is a great place to sit and get away from it all, unless, of course, you're on the way back to the dock."
"I love to go out on my boat. I love to hang out in the water. I love to fish and water ski. And I love to come home and write about it."
"There are few things more exciting than the sound of a boat’s engine starting up, especially when it’s someone else’s."
"The worst thing about being on a boat is the NFL game on TV is always in view and the boat is often rocking."
"A boat is a hole in the water surrounded by wood, into which one pours money."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. Unless you’re on a boat."
"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds, and boats. The rest I just squandered."
"Boating: The use of leisure time to confront your own mortality."
"A yacht is a floating refrigerator for the rich."
"A boat is like a portal to another dimension where bills don't exist."
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"I’d take a boat a hundred times before I’d take a plane."
"I can’t wait until I retire so I can be out on the water all the time. Until then, I’ll just dream about it at work."
"The trouble with a boat is it seems to attract things. Fish, people, water... and especially trouble!"
"A friend of mine told me about the joys of being on a boat—turns out he was referring to the joys of being invited on someone else's boat."
"When you get on a boat, you realize life’s too short. Jump in, let go of your worries, and float away!"
"The ocean stirs the heart, inspires the imagination, and brings eternal joy to the soul... just as long as the boat doesn’t sink."
"It’s not that I don’t like work; I just prefer the smell of the salt air and the sun shining on the water."
"Nothing makes a kid feel more special than a day on a boat... unless they fall in the lake."
"I thought about buying a boat once, but then I realized that I already have one – my wife."
"Never trust a guy who doesn’t love boats. They have something to hide."
"I have a dream! I want to sail the world! In this river! With this raft! And a potato gun!"
"The only thing better than fishing on a boat is eating that fish... unless that fish is full of bones!"
"Boating: because an anchor’s job is to weigh you down while you dream of floating free."
"I thought about a boat trip around the world. Then I realized I might need a boat first."
"Just think of me as a captain without a ship, a baker without a cake, or a fisherman with no fish!"
"I love boating. I love anything that excites my day!"
"A boat is a hole in the water surrounded by wood through which one pours money."
"The sea is a cruel mistress. Indeed it is. Why do you think they call it a shipwreck?"
"I don't know what kind of a day you're having, but mine involves a boat, a cold drink, and lots of sunshine."
"Boating: where the sun is shining, the drinks are cold, and your troubles are far away."
"Always whip your boat before your friends come over."
"Why is it that we can’t ‘go’ if we’ve got too much ‘to do’? Let’s just hit the boat!"
"If you think climbing a mountain is hard, try getting a boat into the water when it’s windy."
"You know you’re a boater when you can tell the difference between a quarter and a quarter knot!"
"Want to know the secret of fishing? We don’t talk about fishing on the boat."
"The only thing better than a boat is a boat with a beer on it!"
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see a boat, and I get on it!"
"Life is better on a boat. Plus, you can leave your problems on shore."
"I was on a boat so long that my makeup melted. How sad!"
"Why did the boat captain give up drinking? He couldn’t handle the ‘buoys’!"
"Nothing makes a person feel more like a kid than being on a boat!"
"If it weren’t for my boat, I’d have no place to store all my expensive sunglasses."
"If you're going to be on a boat, make sure you bring plenty of snacks. You never know when you might catch a glimpse of a fish."
"A friend with a boat is a friend worth having."
"You know you have a boat when you have enough flotation devices to house a small army."
"What do you call a boat that won't stop singing? A 'tug'boat!"
"Just remember: The definition of a boat is a hole in the water that one pours money into."
"You and I are going to make so many great memories on this boat, I may need to write a novel about it!"
"What do you get if you cross a boat with a comedian? A real ‘ahoy’ person!"
"Keep calm and sail on. And maybe bring some snacks!"
"You know you're a boat person when you get in trouble for calling your house a 'floating home.'"
"The two happiest days of a boat owner's life are the day they buy the boat and the day they sell it."
"If you think you can do a better job than the captain, you should try sailing your own boat."
"A boat is safe in the harbor, but that's not what boats are for."
"I don't care how long the boat is, I’m not getting on if it's called 'Titanic.'"
"The best time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining, and the best time to repair the boat is when it’s docked."
"There's nothing more beautiful than a boat out on the water, unless it's a boat with a full fridge."
"A sailor is an artist whose medium is the wind."
"Keep calm and pretend you're on a yacht."
"In a yacht, the only thing that might sink is your mood when you can’t find the anchor."
"A bad day on the water is still better than a good day at work."
"Why did the boat break up with its captain? Because it found someone more buoyant!"
"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done on a boat."
"I named my boat 'Tax Deduction.' No one can take my joy from that!"
"Sailing: the fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while going nowhere."
"I've got a boat, and I've got a wife. It’s tough to tell which one needs more maintenance!"
"Why don’t fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish! Just like you can’t tune a boat."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a boat, and that’s pretty close."
"Sailors don’t take a plane. They take a boat. Why? Because it’s more fun to drift into the sunset than to fly over it."
"A yacht is a boat that you can't afford after you buy it."
"The only time I set the sail is when I don’t know where I’m going."
"Wanting to be on a boat is like wanting to be at a concert. You just want to feel the vibes!"
"Happy hour on a boat is two hours after dock time!"
"It's not about the boat you buy, it's about the memories you create while you’re on it."
"Why do boats always seem to be in a bad mood? Because they’re always getting into deep water!"
"When you feel down, just remember the best way to avoid water is on a boat."
"You don’t have to be a sailor to feel the waves of laughter!"
"A boat is a hole in the water surrounded by wood that's constantly trying to sink you."
"The two happiest days of a boat owner’s life are the day they buy the boat and the day they sell it."
"I love boating. I can’t think of a better way to earn a living. That said, I'd never want to own a boat."
"There’s nothing more exciting than a boat. Unless there’s a shark, then I gotta go!"
"I can’t fathom why anyone would want to be both a boat owner and a fisherman. Just be one or the other. That’s why I hire a fisherman!"
"Boats are like people, you either love them or you don’t. And if you don’t, you’ll grow to hate them."
"The only noise I love more than the crashing of waves is the sound of my wife saying all of the things I forgot to do!"
"I asked the captain of a boat, 'What should I do if I fall overboard?' He replied, 'Keep swimming, unless you want to be eaten by a fish!'"
"Sailing is the fine art of getting wet and becoming ill while going nowhere at great expense."
"If you think the world is full of bad captains, just wait until you see all the people trying to steer their own boats!"
"A bad day of fishing is better than a good day at work. A bad day on a boat is still just a bad day!"
"My boat is like an extension of my personality — impractical and a little out of control."
"I told my wife I wanted to buy a boat. She told me to just take a bath and call it a day."
"A captain is a man who has to wear a hat, not because he wants to, but because it hides his bald spot!"
"All boats are in constant need of repair. Even your ego can get a little waterlogged!"
"The sea is a dangerous place, especially when your boat is your buddy’s idea of fun!"
"If I had a dollar for every time my boat broke down, I’d finally be able to fix it!"
"Life is like a boat; you never quite know when the waves will capsize you!"
"When you’re on a boat, drinking too many margaritas can lead to two things: a good time or a swim!"
"My boat doesn’t leak; it just makes an ‘aromatic passage’ through the water!"
"The best way to enjoy a boat is to let someone else do the driving."
"The ocean is a lot like my relationships; unpredictable but always better with a little patience and a life jacket!"
"My boat is my happy place, even when it feels more like a floating therapy session!"
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my excuses for not going out on the boat!"
"Sometimes I wonder if my boat is a little too much like me — it’s always got thoughts drifting off into space!"
"Boating: Where boys become men and girls become mermaids!"
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