Memorable Funny Quotes For Cheers

115 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Cheers.
"I don't care if you think I'm a bad person. I just want to be your friend and drink beer with you."
Unknown
"Cheers to those who inspire us and don't even know it."
Unknown
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
Will Rogers
"Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
Frank Sinatra
"I only drink to make other people seem interesting."
George Jean Nathan
"I'm on the patch right now. I'm trying to quit drinking. It's a little scary, but I think I can do it with a little help."
Jackie Gleason
"There’s no such thing as a bad drink, only bad company."
Unknown
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"A good beer is a good time, and a good time deserves a good beer."
Unknown
"The only thing better than a glass of bubbles is a bottle!"
Unknown
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If life gives you limes, make margaritas!"
Unknown
"Cheers! Because it’s always 5 o'clock somewhere!"
Unknown
"I wish we could drink in the moonlight. We could bring a ton of drinks and chairs."
Dr. Seuss
"Wine not? Life is too short to drink anything but the best!"
Unknown
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
Henny Youngman
"Here's to those who don't have a drink in their hand. We assume you are sober!"
Unknown
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a beer, and that's pretty close."
Unknown
"Beer, if drunk in moderation, promotes health and longevity."
Thomas Jefferson
"The only way to enjoy a good wine is to take it slowly. Well, that and with a great meal!"
Unknown
"Why limit happy to an hour?"
Unknown
"Good friends and good wine equals great memories."
Unknown
"There is a time for everything, and a time to drink is not one of them."
Unknown
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"Drink wine, and you will not be bored."
Unknown
"Always remember, there are two kinds of people in this world: those who drink, and those who are boring."
Unknown
"It's a beautiful day for a drink!"
Unknown
"A good friend will always stab you in the front."
Oscar Wilde
"I only drink to prepare for my next hangover."
Unknown
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
Tommy Cooper
"Age is just a number. It’s not where you start, it’s where you finish... and I’m finishing my drink!"
Unknown
"The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk."
Dorothy Parker
"Cheers to a long life and a happy one, a good wife and a faithful friend!"
Irish Proverb
"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who drink and those who go to their graves sober."
J.P. Morgan
"I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
Unknown
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a pint, and that’s kind of the same thing."
Unknown
"I would drink the wine of astonishment."
Ingrid Bergman
"We all know that alcohol is a depressant, but the truth is it’s also a great laugh."
Unknown
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"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."
Irish Proverb
"Drinking before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic."
Unknown
"A man can’t make the same mistake twice. The second time, it’s not a mistake, it’s a choice, especially when it comes to cocktails."
Unknown
"Here’s to nights we won’t remember, with friends we won’t forget."
Unknown
"I don’t have a drinking problem. I have a stopping problem."
Unknown
"I’m on a see-food diet. I see food and I eat it... especially if it's paired with wine."
Unknown
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
George Burns
"Friends don’t let friends drink bad wine."
Unknown
"May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short."
Unknown
"I drink because I’m thirsty. For laughter."
Unknown
"Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else."
Margaret Mead
"I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they’re going to feel all day."
Frank Sinatra
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"I drink to that!"
Unknown
"I never drink water. That is the stuff that rusts pipes."
W. C. Fields
"The only thing better than a glass of wine is a second glass."
Unknown
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
Winston Churchill
"In wine, there is wisdom; in beer, there is freedom; in water, there is bacteria."
Benjamin Franklin
"You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline."
Frank Zappa
"To me, the greatest pleasure of writing is not what it's about, but the inner music that words make."
Truman Capote
"There is no problem so great that it cannot be solved by the appropriate level of cocktail."
Unknown
"I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food."
Julia Child
"A man walks into a bar. And then he walks into another bar. And then he walks into another bar. And then they don't let him back in."
Stephen Wright
"The best beer is the one you’re drinking right now."
Unknown
"When in doubt, drink more wine."
Unknown
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says to love your enemy."
Frank Sinatra
"I used to think drinking was a good idea. Then I discovered it was an even better idea to stop."
Unknown
"A good glass of wine can be a great personal experience, but a great bottle can also be a shared experience."
Unknown
"You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to skydive twice."
Unknown
"I'm on the patch. I’m on the ‘not drinking’ patch, which is just an alcohol sweat. It’s beautiful."
Unknown
"The worst mistake you can make is to let people think you are normal."
Unknown
"If you can't remember my name, just say 'champagne'."
Zsa Zsa Gabor
"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand."
Barbara Johnson
"Life is too short to be taken seriously."
Oscar Wilde
"Cheers! May your hats fly high and your drinks never dry."
Unknown
"Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."
Homer Simpson
"I only drink to much when I'm alone or with somebody."
Gilbert Gottfried
"Cheers to those who inspire us and don’t even know it."
Anonymous
"Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
Mark Twain
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
Al Bundy
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
Gore Vidal
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
Anonymous
"You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."
Anonymous
"The only thing better than a glass of wine is two glasses of wine."
Anonymous
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems!"
Homer Simpson
"I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings. Drunks go to parties."
Anonymous
"If drinking is wrong, I don’t want to be right!"
Anonymous
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
Anonymous
"The best beer is the beer you drink with friends."
Anonymous
"Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world."
Kaiser Wilhelm
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
Anonymous
"In wine, there is truth."
Pliny the Elder
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away."
Anonymous
"There’s no such thing as too much fun."
Anonymous
"I drink to make other people interesting."
Ernest Hemingway
"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy."
Frank Sinatra
"Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
Homer Simpson
"In wine, there's truth. In beer, there's strength. In water, there are bacteria."
David Auerbach
"I like my wine like I like my women: ready to pass out."
Anonymous
"Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right."
Oprah Winfrey
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
Tommy Cooper
"A man is like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age."
Anonymous
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others."
Raymond Chandler
"Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it."
Anonymous
"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"
Homer Simpson
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
Anonymous
"The bartender is the only person who can say your drinking habits are a 'code of conduct.'"
Anonymous
"I'm not a heavy drinker, I can go to the fridge and put away one or two cold ones."
George Carlin
"If you're looking for a friend, get a dog. If you're looking for a drink, get a bartender."
Anonymous
"The first step to becoming a sommelier is learning how to pronounce the word 'sommelier.'"
Anonymous
"If you can't drink it, don't serve it!"
Anonymous
"I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
Dorothy Parker
"Good friends, good food, good times, and a little bad booze – the perfect recipe for a good night!"
Anonymous
"There is no such thing as too much beer. Different flavors, different stories!"
Anonymous
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
Benjamin Franklin
"If life hands you lemons, make lemonade. If it hands you limes, grab tequila and salt!"
Anonymous
"A balanced diet is a beer in each hand."
Anonymous
"The difference between a glass of wine and a bottle of wine is a 'glass of wine.'"
Anonymous
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer, and that's kind of the same thing."
Anonymous
"Some people should not be allowed to drink, and I can’t help but agree. Just not to drink alone!"
Anonymous
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