128 result(s) for Funny Football Quotes.
"I have a wonderful talent for ignoring things I don't want to think about."
"The only time I enjoy training is when I’m on the bus."
"If it wasn't for football, I'd be in a wheelchair."
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me."
"I went to a football game and saw a bunch of cheerleaders who clearly planned on keeping my attention."
"The trouble with referees is that they just don’t care which team they hurt."
"Whichever team I support, I hope they play like they did yesterday."
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"There are two teams, but there is only one winner in the end: the one who scores more goals."
"The hardest thing about being a coach is that sometimes you're a referee."
"Coaching is like making love to a woman: sometimes you’re going to get rejected."
"I told my team to play like they're being watched by scouts all the time... and to always shout, 'Look at my skills!' when they get the ball."
"I never comment on referees and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
"Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the fewest mistakes wins."
"If it doesn't matter who wins or loses, then why do they keep score?"
"Football is a simple game. It's just very hard to play."
"I can't tell you how much I love the beautiful game. It's just that I love winning more."
"I love the sport, but the players can be ridiculous sometimes!"
"After all, we’re all just fans chasing one spherical object around a field."
"The only place where success comes before work is a dictionary."
"I can't believe that in my last six games, I've lost four times!"
"In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team."
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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
"I would not be able to find a winning team if it slapped me in the face."
"There are two types of coaches: those who will face the referee, and those who will face their players."
"When I saw the mascot on the field, I realized I was the least ridiculous person out there."
"I think that the best way to prepare for life is to go out and live it."
"I’ve never been a fan of the 4-4-2. I prefer the 4-4-3."
"The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin all over the ironing board."
"I’d love to be a mole on the wall in the dressing room at half-time."
"The best place to cry is on a man’s shoulder."
"When you're winning, nothing hurts."
"I think the first game we lost was worse than the last game we lost."
"You can’t win anything with kids."
"I’m not going to play with my knees. I’m going to play with my head."
"The problem with the French is that they don’t have a word for entrepreneur."
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"I really don't want to be a player anymore."
"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change."
"I was on the way to the top when the top fell on me."
"You can’t control everything. Sometimes you just need to relax and have faith that things will work out."
"I’m a 3 at golf, a 1 at football, and a 10 at eating."
"To be successful, you have to have your heart in your business, and your business in your heart."
"I've learned that mistakes can often be as good a teacher as success."
"Football is a game of mistakes. Whoever makes the most mistakes wins."
"I'm not a movie star. I’m just a football player."
"If you think football is a matter of life and death, you’ve got it all wrong. It is much more serious than that."
"I would not be a good coach. I'm too worried about players being sad."
"If you can't laugh in football, then what can you laugh at?"
"Sometimes you have to accept that you are the pigeon, and sometimes you are the statue."
"I’m a little worried about the next generation. They’re not playing football anymore. They’re playing video games."
"I’m not a man of many words. I’m a man of few choices."
"I don't really want to think about the substitute's bench anymore. It’s not my place. Apparently, it’s where I’ll be sitting for the next few hours."
"I couldn't settle in Italy. It was like living in a foreign country."
"My grandmother always told me that when you are asked a question you should answer it. I tend to agree, usually."
"The only thing worse than a puddle on your pitch is a puddle on your trousers."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
"Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win."
"There are more important things in life than football, but football is very important."
"I always said that I want to die in the pitch. But I don't want to die like Gary Speed."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought."
"I don't want to get into the politics of football, but it seems to me that exercise and sports should be confined to a healthy debate."
"If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done."
"I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
"Some say I'm not a good manager. Others call me a genius. What they don't know is that I'm just a little bit of both."
"In football terms, you're not dead until you're underground."
"There's a lot of things you can do with a football, but kicking it is the most important."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who love football and those who are wrong."
"You have to fight to reach your dream. You have to sacrifice and work hard for it."
"I don't get tired of scoring. I like it."
"What I love most about football is that you can be yourself, be creative, and enjoy the game."
"If there was a football club for people who are very angry, I would be the first on the list!"
"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."
"When I played football, I was in the flow, and everything just came to me. I didn't have to think about it. I was just being me."
"You can't be afraid to make mistakes. You just have to be willing to tell a story about it later."
"The ball is round, the game lasts ninety minutes, and everything else is just theory."
"I wouldn’t be surprised if we saw the first woman referee in the Premier League in the next few years. I think there’s a chance of it."
"The only way to respond to a defeat is to play better and to get a little bit more angry with yourself. There’s no point whining about it, there’s no point feeling sorry for yourself."
"If you're going to be in the Last 16, it means you’re one of the best teams in the world. That’s a great source of pride for me."
"I couldn’t settle in Colombia. I couldn’t speak the language. But I did manage to learn how to say ‘no’ to all the girls."
"I love playing for this team, and I’ve always enjoyed the support from the fans."
"I always tell the players that if they want to be in the starting XI, they need to be able to lick each other’s backs."
"I can't even like my own haircut, let alone someone else's!"
"The secret to success is to be ready when your opportunity comes."
"I'm not afraid of any opponent. But I wouldn't have to tell it to my mom; she already knows it."
"You're not just trying to get through the game. You want to make sure the other person knows you were there."
"There are no words to describe the feeling of winning a trophy for your team."
"I think the most important thing is to be happy. Football is just a game, and we should enjoy it."
"It's not whether you win or lose, but how you played the game. Oh, who are we kidding? Winning is everything!"
"The ball is round, the game lasts 90 minutes, and everything else is just theory."
"For me, the best thing in life is to have a great experience and play the game with happiness."
"Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."
"I have to put more pressure on myself, so the players have to feel more pressure and become better."
"I can’t even afford to let my hair go gray."
"The ref doesn't see it. That's a perfect ref. Cause he sees the game and not the team."
"I have a very small attention span. The same every time: two minutes and add a minute for every minute after that."
"Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing."
"The game of football is about how many goals you score, not how good you look."
"I don't know what you call it, I just call it a good cross."
"They are vital to the team, but as with all players, you can only judge them on their whole careers."
"They say that age is the best teacher, but it doesn't tell you the answer in the exam."
"If you can’t beat them, join them. If you can’t join them, then die!"
"I read the newspaper to find out which team I'm playing for this week."
"I love soccer. I'm going to be a professional soccer player. And I'm going to score goals."
"He’s a great player, it’s just that he’s not very good at football."
"I don’t feel like I’m in a position to complain about my salary. I’ll complain about it if I don’t get a pay rise next year."
"I learned all about life with a ball at my feet."
"Football is simple, but it is difficult to play simple."
"I didn’t see it. I was looking at the referee."
"The only thing I can’t do is play football. It’s too difficult for me. I can barely walk in a straight line."
"If you have to say it, it isn't true, and if you have to say it, it never will be."
"It’s like watching a game of chess, but the pieces can run."
"When I see a bad referee, I do not think of my own talent as a football player."
"My career has been a dream. Most people can live it – just not as long as I have."
"Running is done in the mind, not in the legs."
"The referee is a very important part of the game, unless he makes a mistake."
"We were just a bunch of kids kicking a ball about on the streets."
"I’m not a fan of the sport. I think it’s stupid."
"Football's a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win."
"The only way to prove that you’re a good football player is to take some money off your management."
"We should play together with a sense of urgency, or we'll end up losing."
"I never comment on referees, and I'm not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat."
"I would like to be remembered as a player who did his best for the team."
"You have to be really good to win three matches in a tournament."
"You should always be ready for the unexpected in football."
"One man’s misfortune is another man’s fortune."
"I never want to be a celebrity in football. It's not natural. I want to be a legend."
"The only thing I enjoy more than a win is a loss and a good laugh."
"A football match is just like a game of chess, only the pieces can move."
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