102 result(s) for Funny Confucius Quotes.
"Man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask remains a fool forever."
"The man who chases two rabbits catches neither."
"To see what is right and not do it is the greatest cowardice."
"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher."
"The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large."
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without."
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"Only the bravest and most courageous strive for true greatness."
"Time flows away like water, and the hours are like fish that escape our net."
"Knowledge is a treasure, but practice is the key to it."
"If you want to be respected, you must respect others."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
"There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent."
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever."
"In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of."
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance."
"When you are laboring for others, let it be with the same zeal as if it were for yourself."
"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart."
"To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it."
"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell."
"Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change."
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"To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice."
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."
"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot."
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
"To see what is right and not do it is the want of courage."
"If you make a mistake and do not correct it, this is called a mistake."
"When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves."
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop."
"He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever."
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
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"A man who uses force is afraid of reasoning."
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance."
"To know what is right and not do it is the most terrible cowardice."
"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart."
"If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room."
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step."
"He who learns but does not think, is lost."
"To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal lives."
"I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand."
"If you don’t like change, you will like irrelevance even less."
"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps."
"Silence is a true friend that never betrays."
"Men's gifts are better than their personal qualities; but good sense is worth more than gifts."
"The cautious seldom err."
"There are three methods to gaining knowledge: the first is reflection, which is the highest; the second is imitation, which is the easiest; and the third is experience, which is the bitterest."
"A gentleman would be ashamed should his deeds not match his words."
"What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others."
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who never asks remains a fool forever."
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop, unless you are running a race against a tortoise."
"When you see a good man, think of becoming like him; when you see a bad man, reflect on your own weak points — or laugh at his outfit."
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones, and perhaps a snack for the journey."
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall, provided there are no obstacles in the way."
"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart, unless it's a bad date."
"To see what is right and not do it is the greatest cowardice, unless it involves cleaning the litter box."
"He who knows and knows that he knows is wise; follow him. He who knows and doesn't know that he knows is asleep; wake him up before dinner."
"In a country well governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of; in a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of, unless you have a great sense of humor."
"Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a great comedian can make it daytime."
"Those who cannot punish wrong doers are the most cowardly, especially if they're just afraid of confrontation."
"A man who uses force is afraid of reasoning; a man who uses laughter is not."
"The cautious seldom err, but they do miss the best punchlines."
"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the puns instead."
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance, especially about your dad jokes."
"Success depends upon previous preparation, and a good sense of humor helps prepare for the unexpected."
"He who learns but does not think, is lost; he who thinks but does not laugh is even worse."
"The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell on TikTok."
"There are three ways to be very wise: be a good listener, read a lot, or ask a really good friend who's willing to joke around."
"What the wise man does in the beginning, the fool does in the end, usually with bad timing."
"A different kind of laugh from a man can be an inspiring sight; perhaps it’s when he’s noticing his own reflection in a window."
"The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds, or is absolutely hilarious."
"One joy dispels a hundred cares; especially if it’s a really good joke."
"The noble-minded are calm and steady; little people are perpetually in a state of flux, unless they’re watching a comedy show."
"Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. But a good jog is always better."
"He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Especially if the question is about dinner."
"Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your enemy, and one for your therapist."
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Just make sure it’s not into a bear trap."
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. And laughing about it later."
"Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. And that’s why I never use Google."
"He who speaks without modesty will find it difficult to make his words heard. And he might just get the last donut."
"To see what is right and not do it is the want of courage. If you can blame the dog, you probably have it."
"A man who cherishes his life is afraid to eat too much pie."
"When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action plan. Maybe let’s just order pizza."
"To know what is right and not do it is the worst form of laziness. You should really just get up and do some stretching."
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. At least diamonds are shiny!"
"He who understands others has knowledge; he who understands himself has wisdom. And maybe a bit of a messy room."
"What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others. Unless it’s an awkward dance move."
"If you are the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room. Go find better friends."
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart. But maybe check for Wi-Fi first."
"Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire. Especially if it’s spinach."
"When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves. Or just change the channel."
"Those who cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they must pass. So let it go… or moan about it in therapy."
"The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. Watch your back with those updates!"
"If you want to be rich, do not be ashamed to ask for more money. Especially if you’re doing all the work."
"Silence is a true friend that never betrays. Also, the best way to survive a boring meeting."
"You cannot open a book without learning something. Unless it’s a cookbook and you’re just reading for entertainment."
"The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher. And go with the flow... literally."
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