121 result(s) for Funny Pirate Quotes.
"I am disinterested in your petty rules and regulations, for I am a pirate!"
"What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s ‘R’, but it’s the ‘C’!"
"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, 'Hey, you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your pants?' The pirate replies, 'Arrr, it's driving me nuts!'"
"I used to be a pirate, but I had to quit. I couldn’t handle the pressure!"
"Why did the pirate buy an eyepatch? Because he couldn't find his other one!"
"A pirate’s favorite exercise is a plank!"
"Why are pirates so good at fishing? Because they spend all their time on the 'hook'!"
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"What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? A rookie!"
"When I was a kid, I wanted to be a pirate. But I decided to settle for kind-of a pirate."
"Pirates don’t read! They just plunder!"
"I’ve got a pirate’s code: If it’s not nailed down, it’s mine!"
"Why did the pirate join a band? Because he was good with the 'hook'!"
"What do you call a pirate who skips class? Captain Hooky!"
"A pirate’s favorite type of music? Anything with a good 'arr'nagement!"
"You can't make a pirate laugh, but you can make him 'aarrrr'!"
"Real pirates don't have 'X' marks the spot, they have 'R' marks the spot!"
"Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore!"
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!"
"What do you call a pirate who can sing? An indie pirate!"
"A pirate is never late, he sails in on 'time'!"
"Why did the pirate get kicked out of school? For raising 'a ruckus'!"
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"We could go the way that everyone else goes. But what fun would that be?"
"The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever."
"I be how I be. And no one can change that."
"Pirates don't go to jail; they go to hell!"
"There's a fine line between a pirate and a soldier."
"It’s not the size of the crew; it’s the size of the treasure."
"A pirate’s life for me!"
"You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs; you can’t make a pirate without breaking a few rules."
"Ahoy, matey!"
"There are no rules for sailing the high seas, except don’t forget to have fun!"
"I’m a pirate, not a brain surgeon!"
"Why is pirate slang so strong? Because everybody loves a good treasure!"
"Sailing into the sunset is the pirate’s goodbye."
"Get stuffed with treasure, you scallywags!"
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"The only thing better than a treasure is telling the tale."
"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!"
"Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate."
"Fear the dead, fear the living, but fear most the pirate who knows no fear."
"What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? R, but 'tis the C that they love."
"A pirate's heart beats true, strewn with mystery and adventure."
"Every ship needs a captain and every captain needs a ship. Mine is the sea!"
"The code is more what you’d call guidelines than actual rules."
"A pirate's life is full of such joy and adventure that it would be a dreadful thing to do it in moderation."
"I’m not a pirate. I’m a just a guy who plays one on TV."
"What’s the difference between a drunken pirate and a drunken sailor? One is your uncle, and the other is a pirate."
"To err is human, to arr is pirate."
"Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his 'arrrrrrrticulation'!"
"You can’t be a real pirate unless you can make your own rum!"
"A good pirate is a charismatic rogue, a big-hearted scallywag with a little bit of mischief."
"Pirate: A hunter of the seas, with a trusty parrot and an eye patch that says, 'I’m out for treasure!'"
"I don’t have a bad attitude. I just carry a few extra weapons."
"Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? Because they’ll just wash up on shore later."
"Being a pirate is not about gold, it's about the thrill of adventure and making your own rules!"
"Never underestimate the power of a pirate with a sense of humor."
"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye Matey!"
"If you think about it, pirates are just the original adventurers with a penchant for mischief."
"How do pirates prefer to communicate? Aye to aye!"
"I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!"
"Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"
"To be a good pirate, you must not only steal treasure but also steal hearts."
"Why did the pirate get kicked off the ship? For using offensive language!"
"I always wanted to be a pirate, but the tattoos just hurt too much!"
"How do you turn a pirate furious? Take away the puns!"
"If you think I'm crazy, just remember, even pirates have their own brand of crazy!"
"What do you call a pirate with two eyes and two legs? Retired!"
"A pirate’s life might seem like a dream, but it’s actually just a good way to avoid work!"
"What kind of grades did the pirate get in school? High seas!"
"Do you know why pirates are so successful at school? They always ace their tests on the high seas!"
"You can’t make a pirate joke without some gold behind it!"
"Why are pirates called pirates? Because they just are!"
"I’m not a pirate, I’m a privateer."
"Pirate: a person who robs at sea or plunders the land from a sea base."
"The only thing more dangerous than a pirate is a pirate with a plan."
"I'm going to be a pirate! Pirates get to sail the seven seas, drink rum, and have a parrot on their shoulder! What's not to like?"
"Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his ‘arrrticulation’!"
"He had a pirate's heart, rich in laugh and gold."
"There's no such thing as a 'perfect crime' unless it involves a pirate!"
"If you want to be a pirate, you have to be ready to embrace the feisty sea and a lot of hard work!"
"A good pirate knows that laughter is the best treasure of all."
"Ahoy, matey! Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be an awesome pirate!"
"I may be a pirate, but I still stop for tea!"
"I don’t need a treasure map; the real treasure is the friends I make along the way!"
"The seas may be treacherous, but pirate jokes are always smooth sailing."
"Why did the pirate refuse to play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"
"Great pirate ships sail better than any other kind, especially if you're crewing them with laughter!"
"Pirates don't get lost; they just find new routes to adventure!"
"What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise? The plank!"
"No ship is too big for a crew that knows how to laugh together!"
"Why do pirates not shower before they walk the plank? Because they'll just wash up on shore later!"
"As long as I have my parrot and my ship, I’m a happy pirate!"
"In a world full of landlubbers, be the pirate!"
"Sailing with pirates is like sailing with clowns, but much more fun!"
"If you were looking for trouble, you surely would not have to look very far on a pirate ship!"
"Whatever happens, don't forget to bring your sense of humor to the treasure hunt!"
"Pirates are in it for the booty, not the beauty."
"A pirate is a person who robs at sea or plunders the land from the sea, using deceptive schemes."
"Shiver me timbers!"
"Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his 'arrr-ticulation'!"
"To err is human; to arr is pirate."
"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey!"
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised! Arrrr!"
"I've got a jar of dirt!"
"A pirate looks at 40."
"If I had a dollar for every time a pirate made me laugh, I wouldn't need to find a treasure."
"Ye be warned: I may take your treasure, but I’ll never take your sunblock!"
"Why are pirates such good singers? Because they can hit the high C’s!"
"Where there’s a will, there’s a way – unless you’re a pirate, then there’s always a map!"
"A good pirate always carries a spare eye patch – you never know when you’ll need an eye patch convenience!"
"I didn’t choose the pirate life; the pirate life chose me!"
"In the pirate world, 'landlubber' is the highest form of insult!"
"What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You’d think it’s R, but it’s the C!"
"Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!"
"Sailing the seas, pillaging the shores – just remember to keep the rum flowing!"
"Arrr, I'm not short! I'm just... pirate-sized!"
"Aye, matey! The sea may be deep, but my jokes are deeper."
"Most of the world’s pirates are just lightly armed policy consulting experts."
"To be or not to be? In a pirate's case, it’s always to be plundering!"
"Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of fun!"
"Real pirates don’t carry swords – they carry the spirit of adventure and lots of rum!"
"Pirate code: When in doubt, let the rum flow!"
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