90 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Getting Old.
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just can’t remember it all."
"I can't believe how much I’ve aged. I remember my 30s like they were 40 years ago."
"Old age is like everything else. You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
"I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now."
"The longer you live, the fewer people you find worth your attention."
"I’m at the age where my back goes out more than I do."
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"You’re not 40, you’re 18 with 22 years of experience."
"Life's too short to be serious. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me and I’ll laugh at you."
"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to."
"It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything."
"The older I get, the more I find myself thinking about the past. Sadly, I can’t remember it any longer."
"Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional."
"I refuse to be over the hill. I'm simply a classic."
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"You know you're getting old when you have more candles than cake."
"Getting old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven't committed."
"Old age is like everything else: to make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, and can't remember most of it."
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"I can't believe how much old age has crept up on me."
"You know you're getting old when the prospect of death is more exciting than the prospect of a night out."
"I take a very practical view of Richard Nixon. I don’t like to think of him as a person. I prefer to think of him as an ivory tower filled with funny quotes about getting old."
"Growing old is a privilege denied to many."
"It's funny how the older you get, the more 'good' memories become your 'funny' memories."
"Age is just a number. In my case, a big one."
"I don't feel old. I feel like a kid who is now wondering where I put my keys."
"Life gets funnier the older you get, but not every day is a laugh."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, and heard it all. I just can't remember it all!"
"I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"You don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing."
"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened."
"It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."
"As I get older, I just prefer to knit."
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"I can't believe how old I am. I can't believe how old I am!"
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re past it, you’re just glad to be on the ground!"
"You know you're getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"I feel like I'm in my prime, but the reality is I’m just in the prime of my life. Big difference."
"Old age is not for sissies."
"When your friends begin to be frank with you about your age, it’s a sign you’re old."
"You’re only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime."
"I never think of myself as an aging person. I think of myself as a young person with a lot of experience."
"Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you didn’t commit."
"Old age, believe me, is a good and pleasant thing. It is true you are gently shouldered off the stage, but then you are given such a comfortable front stall as spectator."
"With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana."
"I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one."
"At least you're not as old as you will be next year!"
"You know you are getting old when the trees in your yard are more interesting than the people in your neighborhood."
"Getting old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you didn't commit."
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment – but also, be aware that it’s almost over!"
"I can't believe I’m going to be old enough to know better."
"You know you're getting old when the music you grew up with is classified as 'classic'."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're in it, you wish you were out of it."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."
"When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
"Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle."
"The older I get, the more I realize that my parents were right about almost everything."
"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
"Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get."
"It's funny how your body ages, it’s the only thing that gets older without getting wiser."
"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"I’d like to be 100 years old and be able to look back and say that I lived my life fully."
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it."
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"I can’t believe I’m getting old. I’m going to have to start taking my vitamins and watching my cholesterol. Until then, I’ll just do what I do best: procrastinate."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"You’re not getting older, you’re getting better."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"I’ve reached the age where happiness is just a matter of choice."
"Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
"It's sad to grow old, but it’s nice to ripen."
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
"You know you’re getting old when everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"I don’t need to be young again; I just need to be respected again."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left."
"The older I get, the more I realize that I just want to be around people who make me laugh."
"We're all just kids in grown-up bodies."
"I’ve learned that age is purely a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"Aging is like a fine wine. It’s not the years; it’s the quality of the years."
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