114 result(s) for Weird English Quotes.
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpaper."
"I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"They say money talks, but all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’"
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"I finally know the only thing that has no downside: naps."
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat."
"The best things in life are actually really expensive."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I’ve made a huge mistake."
"Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?"
"Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So I go back to being me."
"I always carry a fork in my purse, because I never know when I might need to eat."
"I am not lazy, I am just on energy-saving mode."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I didn’t choose the mug life; the mug life chose me."
"I’m not always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping."
"I can’t wait to be a kid again; I’m so tired of being an adult."
"Sushi is like a bowl of ice cream, depending on my mood."
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"I can resist anything but temptation."
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
"Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality."
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
"It’s not what we have in life, but who we have in our life that matters."
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"A clear conscience is a sign of a fuzzy memory."
"I am an early bird and a night owl… so I’m wise and I have worms."
"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it’s just a matter of time before I’ll have to go to therapy for my obsession with puns."
"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine."
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that."
"I'm on the patch right now. You know, it's like a green light; I just need to go!"
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"I can't believe I just said that out loud."
"It's a peculiar feeling, but at least it's not a common one."
"We all have strange quirks; embrace them. They make us who we are."
"I think in pictures; you must understand. It's how I see the world."
"Normality is a paved road; it’s comfortable to walk, but no flowers grow on it."
"It is only the most unusual minds that can see all that is ugly and all that is beautiful at the same time."
"If you're not a little weird, you're not doing it right."
"Weirdness is not a personality trait; it's just a quirky dimension of life."
"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."
"The only abnormality is the inability to accept one's own existence."
"We are all made of stars."
"I think everyone’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it."
"You must do the things you think you cannot do."
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."
"To find yourself, think for yourself."
"The things that make me different are the things that make me."
"I'd rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate."
"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination."
"I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious."
"You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it."
"Weird is a side effect of awesome."
"I think it's cool to be weird. It means you're a unique person."
"The greatest pleasure of life is love, and the greatest pain is love. Everything else is just weird."
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"Every time I think I've hit rock bottom, I find a new low."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"I don’t suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?"
"The man who fights too long against his predecessors becomes a predecessor himself."
"I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best."
"I’m not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I’m wise and I have worms."
"I can’t believe I’m still freaking single!"
"I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"I can resist anything except temptation."
"To be natural is such a very difficult pose to keep up."
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I have nothing to declare except my genius."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"The difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about two weeks."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back."
"Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, 'Why me?' Then a voice answers, 'Nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.'"
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing."
"There is nothing so absurd that it cannot be believed as truth if told often enough."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up."
"I enjoy long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
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