25 result(s) for W.C. Fields Quotes About Drinking.
"I always carry a little whiskey around in case I see a snake, which I also carry."
"Now, don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times."
"I like to start off with a kick of grapefruit juice, then a beer."
"I never drink water. Fish fuck in it."
"If I wasn't drunk, I'd be goddamned bored."
"The only cure for grief is to have a good meal."
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite, and furthermore always carry a small snake."
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"I don't drink water. That is a basic essential."
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the courtesy to thank her."
"I exercise extreme self-control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast."
"I understand the inventor of waterboarding has recently retired… with a bottle of water."
"Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water."
"There comes a time when you have to choose between losing a few teeth and losing the argument."
"It isn't a matter of liking or disliking. It’s a matter of loving. There’s a great difference."
"There's no way in the world I can feel sorry for myself."
"The world is a cesspool. We all swim in it."
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
"I'd like a dry martini, Mr. Quimby. A very dry martini. A very, very dry martini."
"Reminds me of my father... used to sit on the porch all day long, chewing tobacco, spitting, and whittling. I asked him why one day, and he said, 'I'm waiting for the wood to come back.'"
"It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the decency to thank her."
"I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally."
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"Philadelphia, wonderful town, spent a week there one night."
"Start every day off with a smile and get it over with."
"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."
"Don't ever give a sucker an even break."
