114 result(s) for Seinfeld Quotes.
"No one wants to be the one to tell the person they have a bad haircut."
"I’m not a ‘bad boy’. I’m not a ‘good boy’. I’m not a boy at all."
"You know, it's a shame. It used to be that you didn't have to be a genius to be a celebrity."
"I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of the house."
"I’m not at all comfortable with that."
"You can't be afraid of the people in your life. They are all going to die anyway."
"It's a show about nothing."
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"The only time I can talk to God is when I'm watching a Jerry Seinfeld show."
"I’m out there for you. I’m on your side. You’ll always have a friend in me."
"This is the best. It’s so simple, so easy."
"I’m not sure I actually have any weaknesses."
"I have no idea where I am. I have no sense of direction."
"The best part of my day is when I get to see you."
"You can’t be serious about everything."
"It’s a hard day’s night, and I’ve been working like a dog."
"I'm not sure I want to do anything. I'm just going to take it easy."
"I’m going to try to make my life as easy as possible."
"You can't control people. You can only control yourself."
"I don't want to be an adult."
"We all have to make sacrifices sometimes."
"I’m not a bad guy. I’m just a little more than a minute and a half of a good idea."
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"If you see a shirt you like, buy it. Because you won’t see it again."
"The jerk store called, they're running out of you!"
"I am in shape. Round is a shape."
"You can't make people do things they don't want to do."
"I’m out there for you. I’m running in place. You’re not even here."
"A risk is when you take a chance on something that has the potential to turn out badly."
"It’s like all my friends are getting married, and I’m just sitting here with my thumb up my nose."
"I find that to be the simplest upshot of our existence: just to be good to each other."
"You know, it’s kind of like the ’80s: it’s all about being super cool and not really caring – but I care a lot."
"I don’t want to be a paddle ball, I want to be a yacht!"
"I’m still trying to figure out where the separation is between the spectacular and bleh."
"I don't want these. I want to live a life in which I can avoid them."
"It’s basically something that you do to express what you’re thinking even if nobody cares."
"There’s a thin line between a good idea and a bad idea."
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"You gotta dance like there's nobody watching."
"The only thing duller than a wedgie is a wedding."
"If you think you can do it, do it. If not, go get something to eat."
"I know they’re supposed to be good for me, but I want a cookie!"
"No hugging, no learning."
"The sea was angry that day, my friends."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that!"
"Yada yada yada."
"It’s like an elephant in the room. It's just sitting there, big and gray."
"A DVD? What are you, a thief?"
"I’m not a doctor. I’m not a lawyer. I’m not a dentist. I’m just a guy who loves to eat."
"I can't be with somebody like that. It’s a kill of my buzz."
"You can’t get a job, you can’t catch a break; but you've got to have hope."
"Sometimes I start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way."
"I’m not a fun of the pain. I’m a fun of pleasure."
"You know how to take care of yourself, George."
"I’m a master of my domain."
"I’m not getting any older, I’m just getting to be a better version of myself."
"Everything I say is funny. Especially to me."
"You’re a very important man."
"You’re a stubborn, impregnable wall of human flesh!"
"You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends."
"Put a little of your personality into your work!"
"The jerk store called, they’re running out of you!"
"You’re not a bad person, you’re just a little messed up."
"It’s all a big game anyway."
"No soup for you!"
"It’s not a lie if you believe it."
"Yada yada yada!"
"Serenity now!"
"I don’t want to be a pirate!"
"You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!"
"The best part of my day? It’s like a piece of cake when I know Jerry’s going to call."
"Not that there’s anything wrong with that."
"Come on, it’s a little too much pressure."
"A show about nothing."
"I don’t need this anymore!"
"You know, they say that money talks, but all mine says is 'Goodbye.'"
"I am learning to be a better person, Jerry."
"I was never a 'planner'."
"What’s the deal with airplane peanuts?"
"I’d love to stay and chat, but I’d rather have a root canal."
"There’s no reason why I can’t be both."
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason."
"I’m not a bad guy!"
"You’re gonna love my nuts!"
"I can't go back to jail!"
"I just want to be a part of your world."
"This is the show about nothing."
"I’m a master of low expectations."
"It’s like I’m looking out a window, but the window is my brain."
"We’re living in a society!"
"No one wants to hear about your problems. They want to hear about their own problems."
"It's not a lie if you believe it."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"That's a shame. I was really looking forward to licking the frosting off your corpse."
"I don't want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me."
"Yada, yada, yada."
"Not that there's anything wrong with that."
"I am out there for you. You don't even know it. But I am there for you."
"A two-year contract is like a permanent contract. It’s forever!"
"I don't need to be good. I just need to be good enough."
"You can't just leave a message on a machine. You forget what you want to say! You might as well just be talking to yourself!"
"The jerk store called, they're out of you!"
"I’m not a doctor, but I play one on TV."
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
"I’m very different now. I’m much more of a yes person."
"I’m going to the store to buy a vicarious experience."
"Did you ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?"
"You think you can break up with me? I’m the queen of the world!"
"If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."
"It's like a situation where you're waiting for the bus, and the bus never comes."
"My whole life is an act of contrition."
"The most powerful person in the world is the one who's holding the fork."
"What’s the deal with airline food?"
"I'm at a party, and they run out of chips. I mean, what could be worse?"
"It’s a perfect time to lie, because the truth is a tough sell."
"The only thing worse than a bad haircut is a good haircut that goes bad."
"I’m not an architect. I’m just very good at building things up in my mind."
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