Memorable Sassy Dark Humor Quotes

25 result(s) for Sassy Dark Humor Quotes.
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who are lost."
Unknown
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but it doesn't matter none of them work."
Unknown
"Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face. For instance, when you push them down the stairs."
Unknown
"My life feels like a test I didn't study for."
Unknown
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy saving mode."
Unknown
"Death is a natural part of life. It's just a shame it happens so often."
Unknown
"I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
Henny Youngman
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"Life is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel."
Jean de La Bruyère
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car."
Jack Handey
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
Unknown
"Always borrow money from a pessimist. They don't expect it back."
Oscar Wilde
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
Oscar Wilde
"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."
Will Rogers
"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."
Albert Einstein
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, an idiot gets up and walks away."
Milton Berle
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
Oscar Wilde
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
Unknown
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
Unknown
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
Benjamin Franklin
"Some people cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
Oscar Wilde
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education."
Mark Twain
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"If you think nobody cares if you are alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
Unknown
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
Winnie the Pooh (A.A. Milne)
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
Albert Einstein
"To err is human, to err often is my style."
Unknown

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