105 result(s) for Funny Wall Art Quotes.
"I can't adult today. Please don't make me."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show you the right way to do that?"
"Coffee: because adulting is hard."
"Absolutely, positively, unequivocally, no!"
"Procrastinate now, don’t put it off."
"Be a voice, not an echo."
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"Sarcasm: because beating the hell out of people is illegal."
"If I had a dollar for every time I said 'I'll do it tomorrow'... I'd probably do it tomorrow."
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"You can't make everybody happy. You're not a taco."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy-saving mode."
"You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake."
"The early bird can have the worm. I’ll take coffee."
"If you can’t convince them, confuse them."
"If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?"
"I told my therapist about my procrastination. Now I have to wait two weeks to hear about it."
"I need six months of vacation, twice a year."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I was born to be wild, but only until around 9 PM or so."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
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"I'm not lazy, I'm just really good at doing nothing."
"If at first, you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I am on the patch of life that requires a lot of coffee."
"I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I missed."
"I've learned that age is just a number. In my case, a really high one!"
"The second mouse gets the cheese."
"You can't always be a winner, but you can always be a good loser... unless you're a loser!"
"If you think I'm crazy, you should meet my imaginary friend."
"Every time I think I've found the key to success, someone changes the lock."
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"I told my wife the truth. I said, 'I never want to live with you again.'"
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"I don't need an inspirational quote. I need coffee."
"Slightly sarcastic. Hugely hilarious."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should meet my friends."
"Procrastinators unite... tomorrow."
"I could be a morning person if morning happened around noon."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet?"
"There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction would understand."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience."
"You can’t trust atoms; they make up everything!"
"I didn’t kill the flies. I just let them fly away."
"If I had a dollar for every time I had a good idea, I wouldn’t need a dollar."
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
"Never trust math teachers who use graph paper."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that."
"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"If you think I'm crazy, you should meet my other half."
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"I can’t believe I still have to give people instructions on how to breathe."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"Silly is you in a natural state, and serious is something you have to worry about."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere."
"I had my patience tested. I'm negative."
"I'm not lazy. I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue."
"You're never too old to throw a tantrum."
"I can’t tell you how much I love people who hate me."
"I’m not in a bad mood. Everyone is just way too happy."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target."
"I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time."
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes."
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. But what if it’s a disaster? Now I’m worried."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I used to care, but now I take a selfie."
"I’m not a complete idiot — some parts are missing."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives."
"I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done."
"Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is a husband."
"I am on a blood sugar diet. I’m just trying to stick to my sweet tooth."
"I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."
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