113 result(s) for Funny Senior Citizen Quotes.
"The older I get, the more I realize that I’m in charge of my happiness. It’s up to me to make the most of the time I have left."
"I may be a senior, but I refuse to be a serious!"
"You know you're getting old when the little old lady you helped across the street is your wife."
"The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"I don't feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, then the second thing goes, and then the third thing goes."
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"I’ve reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Every time I think I’m getting old, I remember how much fun it is to be a kid again."
"I can't wait until I’m old enough to be a kid again."
"I might be getting old, but I’ll always be young at heart."
"You know you're getting old when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police."
"My retirement plan is to be a professional napper."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I'm at the age where my back goes out more than I do."
"I don’t remember being born, but I guess I must have been. I’m getting to that age where thinking about it is too much work."
"I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are safely on the ground you can look back and see how bad it was."
"Aging is mandatory; maturing is optional."
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
"I have so much fun with my grandkids because I’ve already forgotten all the rules."
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"If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane."
"I don't need a hair stylist. My pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"The older I get, the better I used to be."
"I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart."
"I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap."
"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for, I don't know."
"Getting old is like a bad joke. You laugh, but you just end up crying."
"My memory is so good that sometimes I remember things that never happened."
"I've reached the age where it's a good idea to carry a bag of candy in my purse—just in case I need to bribe someone."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young."
"You are only young once, but you can be immature forever."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all. I just don't remember it all."
"I've learned that age is just a number, and mine is unlisted."
"The best part about being over 60 is that you are now too old to care about what others think of you."
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"The older you get, the more you realize that you are not the only one who makes bad decisions."
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
"As I get older, I just keep thinking, 'More wrinkles, more fun.'"
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am."
"I don't feel old. I'm still young at heart, just a bit slower on the outside."
"I don't have an age; I have a lifetime of experiences."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"I'm at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all; I just can’t remember it all."
"I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me."
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot, just not as hot as I used to be."
"I don’t know how I got over the hill without ever getting to the top."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, and you can’t remember the other two."
"I got older, but I didn’t get wise."
"You know you’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it."
"To me, old age is always ten years older than I am."
"It’s too late to be good, but it’s not too late to be happy."
"The best part of being over fifty is that you’ve sold your house to buy a condo, and now those condo fees refuse to be paid."
"Age isn't how old you are, it's how old you feel."
"Just remember, you’re unique, just like everyone else."
"Life’s too short to be serious all the time. If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me! I’ll laugh at you."
"Nothing is more aging than a bad attitude."
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
"I'm so old that my candles cost more than my cake."
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
"Aging is like flying in an old airplane - you can’t always trust the gauges, and sometimes you just have to fly by intuition."
"If you're going to be late, you might as well be late to a party they're throwing for you."
"I’m not old; I’m just becoming a classic."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, and can’t remember most of it."
"I don’t feel old. I feel like a kid trapped in an old person’s body."
"You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster."
"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
"There’s a thin line between senior citizens and the elderly."
"I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, how funny will it be?'"
"I’m on the patch for old age. But it’s a bit too small to fit all my aches and pains."
"I may be a senior, but I refuse to be obsolete."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me."
"A senior moment is when you can’t remember what you just forgot."
"In my day, we didn’t have Instagram. We just took selfies with our Polaroids and hoped for the best."
"I have everything I wanted in life, except for a few extra minutes."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"I’m so old I can remember when the Dead Sea was only sick."
"Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up!"
"Getting older is like being a fine wine; it only gets better with age!"
"You know you’re getting old when you start to look like your driver’s license."
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"Older people shouldn’t eat health food; they need all the preservatives they can get."
"I don't mind getting older, but my body is getting ridiculous!"
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"I can’t wait to turn 100 so I can be a crazy old lady!"
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, but I’ve forgotten most of it."
"I may be a senior, but I still feel like a kid inside. A kid with a lot of aches and pains!"
"You are only young once, but you can be immature for as long as you want."
"Being over the hill is much better than being under it."
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Aging is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
"I feel like I’m already in a nursing home, and I’m still two months shy of 70."
"As we grow older, our least favorite things become our favorite things."
"I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"I think I’ll just follow the next person who says, ‘Let’s party!’"
"You know you’re getting old when you are cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of the police."
"People ask me what I do for fun, and I tell them, I go to bed early!"
"Getting old is like being a fine wine; it gets better with age."
"I don’t have gray hair. I have wisdom highlights!"
"The wrinkles are just the scars of my adventures."
"Retirement: it’s when you stop living at work and begin working at living."
"I’ve reached an age where my main goal is not to lose my mind!"
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
"I’m not aging, I’m marinating."
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