27 result(s) for Funny Quotes For Floor Crew.
"If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"The only thing I gain from exercise is the ability to eat more cookies."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
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"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach photos."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate."
"I have a friend who’s an artist. I can’t wait to go see his work. It sounds so good, I know it’s got to be worth the drive!"
"I finally got around to reading the dictionary. Turns out the zebra did it."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception."
"I’m on the patch to let my hair down, but it’s taking longer than expected."
"I always carry a knife in my sock, just in case I need to chop my shoes."
"I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something."
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"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg?' Because every play has a cast!"
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"The whole is equal to the sum of its parts, but the parts are addicted to caffeine."
"I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something."
"I called my boss to tell him I’m going to be late. He asked, 'How late?' I said, 'You’ve known me long enough to know, just give me a couple of hours.'"
