131 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Stalking.
"Stalking is a way of life for some people. Just be careful not to fall in love with someone else's life."
"There’s a fine line between stalking and being in love with someone. Unfortunately, it’s hard to read that line when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses."
"I’m not saying I’m Batman, but have you ever seen me and Batman in the same room? Just something to think about while I quietly observe."
"The good thing about stalking is that you never have to be lonely. You can always have someone's life to observe."
"I have a dating strategy: I follow someone on social media, make them think I’m totally cool, and then emerge in their life like a plot twist."
"I'm just trying to get to know you in a non-creepy way...by knowing where you live and what you do all the time."
"If I had a nickel for every time I was called a stalker, I'd have enough money to hire a private investigator."
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"Stalkers are just fans who haven’t been moderated."
"Why is it called stalking when it feels so much like love?"
"I’m not a stalker. I’m a future friend who hasn’t figured out how to introduce myself yet."
"Rest assured, I’ll be watching you from a distance. Love can be complicated like that."
"Stalking is like an extreme sport. It requires dedication, endurance, and a complete lack of boundaries."
"Is it stalking if we’re both looking for love in the same bushes?"
"Some call it stalking; I call it a passionate interest from afar."
"I once followed someone around until I realized they were actually boring. Stalking can be an eye-opener."
"All good relationships start with proper research. I prefer to think of it as pre-qualification."
"You know it’s love when you find yourself studying someone’s daily routines from the comfort of your car."
"Some people call it a crush; I call it a thorough observation of your potential partner’s lifestyle."
"I’m not creepy. I’m just dedicated to understanding the life of the person I’m interested in."
"There’s a thin line between ‘I can’t stop thinking about you’ and ‘I know your daily schedule.’"
"If love is a crime, I might just be the most wanted stalker."
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"True love means stalking your crush's Instagram until you find the perfect way to slide into their DMs."
"Stalking: because research is key to a successful romance."
"Stalking is just an alternative way to express interest, right?"
"They say love is blind, but sometimes a little surveillance can help your vision."
"Every great love story starts with an unintentional stalker."
"They told me to stop stalking, but I said I was just studying my subject."
"I once stalked someone on the internet for a week. I learned everything about them... and they had no idea how much I cared."
"Stalking is just like any other job. It may be a little 'creepy', but if you put in the hard work, you can get a promotion!"
"I'm not a stalker. I'm just really really interested in your life."
"Stalking is a great way to get to know someone without them knowing."
"I stalk my friends on social media just to know if they’re having more fun than I am."
"If I like you, I’ll stalk you until you like me back."
"I’m not saying I’m the world’s greatest stalker… but I’ll find out more about you than your therapist."
"Stalking is the only practical way of getting to know someone these days."
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"Silent admiration should be an Olympic sport; I’d take home gold with my stalking skills."
"I'm not a stalker, I'm a 'personalized interest investigator'."
"Behind every great man, there's a woman rolling her eyes at him… or stalking him."
"My favorite game is 'Who Can Stalk the Most'. I've won every time."
"A little stalking never hurt anyone... unless you get caught."
"They say if you love someone, you should let them go... but have you tried just subtly stalking them instead?"
"Stalkers aren’t bad people. They just skipped the ‘getting to know you’ phase."
"Stalking: because dating apps just don’t give you enough intel."
"Every time I see a cute guy, I’m reminded that I could easily track him down if needed."
"Stalking is like the creepy cousin of love."
"You call it stalking; I call it relationship establishment."
"I’m not stalking; I’m just being extra helpful with your public information."
"If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right... and I’ll find out where you live."
"The only thing scarier than stalking is that sometimes it leads to actual relationships."
"True love is just one step away from a little healthy stalking."
"Good friends are just stalkers in disguise."
"If stalking is wrong, I don’t want to be right - because it’s just so interesting!"
"The best investors are those who know their stocks inside and out; it's the same with relationships."
"I’m not a stalker. I’m just really good at following people around on social media."
"I don’t stalk; I just watch very closely."
"Stalking is just a way of showing love - like a puppy follows its owner."
"I love to follow people around, but only if they don’t know I’m doing it!"
"If you can’t handle me at my stalking, you don’t deserve me at my loving."
"I’m not a stalker, I’m a dedicated fan."
"Stalking is just an extreme form of admiration."
"I thought I was a good friend until I realized I was just stalking on a regular basis."
"Stalking is just love with a little more enthusiasm."
"Why be a part of a social network when you can just stalk everyone?"
"Everyone needs a hobby; mine just happens to be stalking."
"I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little stalker-ish. But it’s all in the name of friendship."
"Stalking: When your curiosity gets the best of you!"
"If stalking was a crime, I would be serving life without parole!"
"I stalk, therefore I am."
"I’m just a friendly neighborhood stalker."
"Stalking should really just be called ‘intense socializing’."
"I don’t stalk; I just analyze your life closely!"
"There’s a thin line between stalking and being really invested in someone’s social life."
"I’m not creepy; I just have a strong interest in your life choices."
"Stalking is just an elaborate way of saying, 'I’m interested in you!'"
"Stalkers are just fans who take their fandom to the next level."
"I don’t have a stalker; I have an entourage who loves me from afar."
"Stalking is like appreciating a work of art – the only difference is, I’m not in a museum."
"My computer scours the internet for interesting people; does that make me a stalker?"
"What’s wrong with a little harmless stalking? It’s just my way of keeping tabs!"
"I used to be a stalker, but now I'm just a fan. Someone get me a t-shirt!"
"Don't worry, I won't stalk you… I'll just be secretly living my life within 20 feet of you at all times."
"I really love watching you from afar. Like, really far. Like, from another continent."
"Stalking is just love with behavior problems."
"Love is in the air… or is that just me, stalking you?"
"I’m not a stalker; I’m just really good at finding people."
"A stalker is just an admirer with a better strategy."
"I follow you on social media. It's basically the modern-day equivalent of stalking."
"Sometimes I wonder if looking at your profile every day counts as stalking or devotion."
"You say tomato, I say stalking."
"Stalking gives me purpose… There's nothing more thrilling than a good chase!"
"Why do I stalk? Because standing still is too boring."
"Stalking: the art of following someone until they fall in love with you… or call the cops."
"I thought I was just a passionate observer, but others called it stalking."
"Sometimes I just sit on my couch and stalk you in my mind. Is that weird?"
"Everyone says a stalker has no limits. I just have a preference for someone special."
"I’m not spying on you. I’m gathering data for our future together."
"Real love is built on mutual stalking."
"Find someone who looks at you the way I look at your Instagram account."
"I don’t stalk people; I simply appreciate them from a distance… with a telescope."
"I’m just one ‘like’ away from a great relationship. Who knew virtual stalking was so effective?"
"Love in the digital age: it's not stalking if it's online!"
"I've elevated stalking to a fine art, complete with a portfolio!"
"In today's world, stalking requires good Wi-Fi and a convincing profile pic."
"Every great love story begins with a little bit of stalking."
"My stalking game is strong; just ask the five people I follow obsessively."
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"I might be a stalker, but I'm a committed stalker."
"Stalking is just a very intense form of admiration."
"Remember, if you fall in love with a person, don't fall in love with their habits. Because you might get stuck with them."
"I don’t stalk people. I just observe them closely."
"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams... or so you hope when you're stalking someone online."
"The best way to make your ex jealous is to make sure they know you're dating someone way better. But alternatively, just stalk them for the info."
"It's only stalking if it's illegal. If it's just a hobby, it's research!"
"If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re stalking."
"I'm not a stalker, I'm just a fan who's passionate about following their favorite person."
"Stalking is a form of love; it’s just the more clingy kind."
"I never stalk. I just keep a very close eye on you from a safe distance."
"They say that if you love someone, you should let them go. But can we just agree to surveil each other instead?"
"In relationships, boundaries are important. But so is knowing what someone's favorite coffee order is. And maybe stalking a little helps!"
"There’s a fine line between stalking and being a concerned citizen."
"Real love is knowing someone's schedule and being there when they need a ride."
"Before you judge me, remember that you also look at your crush's Instagram every other hour."
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go... and maybe following someone online without them knowing."
"Dear diary, today I stalked my crush online for just 3 hours. I think I’m making progress."
"I consider myself a 'dedicated researcher' into the lives of those I admire."
"You know you've crossed the line when you start to memorize their dog's name."
"If love is like a perfume, then stalking is like wearing too much of it."
"My stalking game is strong, but my flirting game is non-existent."
"Sometimes I wish I could be a fly on the wall... but then I realize I’d probably just be a camera in their bedroom."
"Sorry, I've been busy stalking my crush. Can we reschedule our friendship?"
"They say love is blind, but I think it just wears really good sunglasses."
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