131 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Heat.
"I think it’s time to take a break from the heat and go for a nice cold shower."
"It’s so hot outside, I saw a fire hydrant chasing a dog."
"I love summer, it's a time when I can say I’m really 'in my element' – the element of sweat."
"In the summer, I like to call my AC my 'partner in crime.'"
"The only thing hotter than this weather are my dance moves."
"It’s so hot, I could fry an egg on the sidewalk. But why would I do that when I can just fry it on my forehead?"
"Summer is the only time when it’s acceptable to sweat profusely and call it a ‘glow.’"
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"Sunshine is like a hug from the universe—too bad it’s a hot and sweaty one!"
"It’s so hot, I saw a lizard basking in the shade with a sunscreen."
"Nothing ruins a day like a hot day. Well, maybe a hot day with no ice cream."
"I can’t wait for summer... said no one with a heat index of 110 degrees!"
"If you need me, I'll be cooling off in a pool of denial about how hot it really is."
"Heat waves make me appreciate every season... especially winter!"
"I love the heat; it’s my motivation for ice cream runs."
"You know it’s hot when you start praying for a rainstorm… or a snowstorm."
"I'd rather sweat than freeze, but let’s be honest, I'm not a fan of either."
"They say misery loves company, but heat loves ice cream."
"Why do people complain about the heat? It gives us an excuse to eat popsicles."
"Heat: that magical time when you can fry an egg just by holding it in your hand!"
"I don't mind the heat if my sunglasses are on point!"
"If my skin could cry from heat, it would be a waterfall."
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"The only 'thing' I want to sweat is lemonade, not my hair."
"Summer is like a hot cup of coffee—great until you burn your tongue!"
"In this heat, I’m convinced my refrigerator is my best friend."
"If I wanted to feel this much heat, I'd have just walked into a sauna wearing a wool sweater."
"It’s so hot that I’m considering becoming a lizard. At least they have it figured out."
"It's so hot, the chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs."
"I can't take this heat. I can't even take a hint!"
"The only thing that seems to be more intolerable than the heat is people who complain about it."
"Heat waves are like ex-boyfriends — when they come back, they always bring discomfort."
"I’m not saying it’s hot, but I just saw a squirrel with a popsicle."
"In a heat wave, I treat every day like it's a day at the beach, minus the joy and filled with a lot more sweat."
"It's so hot, my ice cream is in the fridge praying for colder days."
"I love the heat. It gives me an excuse to thrive on ice cream and popsicles!"
"It's so hot outside that I saw a coyote chasing a fire hydrant!"
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"Nothing ruins a hot day faster than a cold shower."
"I wish I was as thin as my patience in this heat."
"You know what’s hot? People’s complaints about being hot."
"If there's one thing I can't stand, it's heat and people who can't handle it."
"It’s so hot I could fry an egg on the sidewalk! And I might just do that for dinner."
"Heat today, gone tomorrow, but the sweat always stays."
"When life hands you lemons, throw them back and ask for a cooler!"
"Heat measures the closer you get to summer, not the distance."
"My favorite exercise this summer? Running from the air conditioning to the fridge!"
"Too hot to be outside - I’ll take frozen margaritas in the shade."
"I knew summer was here when I started seeing more people in their swimsuits than the grocery store aisles."
"In their defense, ice cubes get their own space in the freezer when it's this hot."
"Summer: when the air conditioning bill is higher than my social life."
"Do I like summer? Sure, in a climate-controlled environment."
"Outdoors: where the free air is too hot and the sweat is way too real."
"It's hard to be a well-mannered person when the sun is frying your patience."
"I can't stand the heat, so I stay out of the kitchen."
"It's so hot today, I saw a bird pull a worm out of the ground with a string!"
"If you think it's hot now, wait until we turn on the oven!"
"I'm so hot, I could fry an egg on my forehead."
"Summer is the season when a man makes money, and a woman spends it."
"It's hotter than a goat's butt in a pepper patch!"
"The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it. And it’s too hot for me to think about cooking!"
"Heat waves are like women – they will always come back when you least expect them."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"In the summer, I feel an overwhelming urge to leave my windows open and my air conditioning off. Is that weird?"
"The only thing hotter than this weather is me."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience, especially during a heat wave."
"The only exercise I’ve done this month is running out of excuses. It’s too hot to do anything else!"
"Why do we measure hot weather in degrees? Make it a scale of how many frozen treats I’m going to eat to survive."
"The best thing about the scorching heat? It’s a great excuse to sit by the pool and drink cocktails."
"This heat is a great reminder that I should have bought that extended warranty on my air conditioning."
"Nothing beats the summer heat like sitting in a straight line with ice cubes on your head."
"The heat of the day is only bearable if you’ve got ice cream in hand!"
"Today’s forecast: 100% chance of sweat."
"If you can't stand the heat, don’t worry, the cold comes back soon."
"I love summer, but sometimes I wish it could be 34 degrees instead of 104!"
"Sunshine is the best medicine, especially when mixed with a cocktail over ice!"
"Some like it hot, but I'm just trying to survive this heat!"
"Did it just get hotter in here, or is it just my love for the summer?"
"My favorite outdoor activity is watching the heat wave dance in front of me."
"I love it when it's hot because I can wear shorter clothes and get my tan on."
"I can’t stand the heat, so I stay out of the kitchen."
"It's hotter than a goat in a pepper patch."
"The heat is so intense, it's like walking through a sauna dressed as a roast chicken."
"I thought it was hot down here, but then I realized it was just me!"
"You know it’s hot outside when you get a cold drink just to cool down your car seat."
"The sun is out and so am I. If you need me, I'll be in a pool of ice cream."
"It's so hot, I heard the bushes talking back."
"What’s a hot day like when you’re not in the mood? It’s like wearing a wool sweater to a summer barbecue."
"Heat is the enemy of poor people."
"My love for you is like the heat from a thousand suns — overwhelming and impossible to escape!"
"Summer, summer, summertime—time to sit back and unwind. Why does it have to be so hot, though?"
"The only thing hotter than me is the weather today!"
"On hot days, I like to dress like I live in an air conditioner."
"It's so hot outside, my sweat has started sweating."
"Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk? Try frying my brain instead."
"Where there's a will, there's a heat-induced nap waiting to happen."
"I love summer. It’s the time of the year when I can be lazy in my shorts."
"Why is it that we call this weather ‘heat’? It’s more like complete annihilation at this point."
"It’s so hot, I saw a bird using oven mitts to land on a tree branch."
"It's so blistering, my sunscreen is starting to melt and run for cover."
"Feeling hot? Just remember, even an ice cream truck has to melt under this sun!"
"I never knew I could sweat this much. Someone should bottle this and sell it as a new workout regime."
"It’s so hot, the ice cream truck is parked permanently outside, just for emergency dips."
"When it's hot like this, even the dog won't fetch a stick."
"I don't need a sauna when I have an afternoon in July."
"Why does it feel like I’ve walked into a pizza oven?"
"It's so hot in here, my sweat is sweating!"
"I’m not a temperature person; I prefer jokes over heat."
"It's so hot outside, I'm pretty sure the sun is trying to cook us."
"If you think it's hot, just wait until I turn on the oven!"
"In the summer, I like to think I’m a lizard, just soaking up the sun until I turn to stone."
"Heat waves are just the Earth’s way of showing off its tropical tan."
"I’m just trying to find some shade to avoid the intense rays of reality."
"The only thing hotter than the summer sun is my desire for ice cream."
"I can't wait for winter. I need to cool down my personality and my temper."
"I love the heat, but I love air conditioning even more!"
"It's so hot that I’ve seen birds using pot holders to pick up worms!"
"The best thing about the heat is that it keeps people indoors, where I can avoid them!"
"Why do we call it a heat wave when it’s clearly more like a heat tsunami?"
"Remember, it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity—unless there's no shade food involved!"
"Dear summer, stop being such a hot mess."
"Is it hot in here, or is it just me trying to stay cool?"
"The heat may be unbearable, but it’s not as bad as my sunburn."
"Why do I feel like the sun is mad at me? Because it won’t stop burning!"
"Life is too short to sweat the small stuff… especially in this heat!"
"I feel like I’m melting faster than a popsicle in July."
"I wish I could wear shorts to work year-round; then I'd truly embrace the heat!"
"Tanning is just my skin’s way of surrendering to the heat!"
"It's so hot outside, even the ice cream truck broke down!"
"Another day, another dollar, and another sunburn to add to my collection."
"Who needs a sauna when you have summer in full swing?"
"A final reminder: sunscreen is not optional when you're sunbathing the temperature of the sun."
"If I wanted to be roasted, I'd just jump into an oven."
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