Memorable Funny New York Quotes

130 result(s) for Funny New York Quotes.
"I'm not a doctor, but I play one in my apartment in New York."
Unknown
"The city is like a big restaurant, it has everything, but I still want to eat at home."
Unknown
"In New York, you can be in a restaurant and a bar at the same time."
Unknown
"New Yorkers don’t need to take vacations; we live in one."
Unknown
"New York is a great place to be broke."
Unknown
"I love New York. You can be a nobody and still have a great product."
Zach Braff
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who live in New York, and those who wish they could."
Unknown
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"I’ve always said that if I had to live anywhere apart from where I live now, I’d live in New York City."
Jay McInerney
"New York is the only city that has a rush hour that lasts all day."
Unknown
"You can be a New Yorker and still have absolutely no style. It’s just the way it is."
Unknown
"New York, forever!"
Unknown
"New York is the only city that can kill a man’s soul without a gun."
Unknown
"The question isn’t whether you can afford to buy in New York City, it’s whether you can afford not to."
Unknown
"If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere. Unless you're in a taxi at rush hour. Then you might not make it anywhere."
Unknown
"The subway is the closest thing to a time machine we have."
Unknown
"New York may be the city that never sleeps, but it sure takes a lot of naps!"
Unknown
"I love New York. It’s one of my favorite places in the world. That’s why I live here!"
Jason Schwartzman
"In New York, everything goes. You could get hit by a taxi and get up and find yourself in a fancy restaurant with free appetizers."
Unknown
"They say if you can survive a New York winter, you can handle anything."
Unknown
"New York is a city of expectations. A lady is expected to know how to turn a wrong-side-out dress inside out and back again."
Unknown
"Only in New York can you find a 24-hour pizza place next to a hospital, a bar, and a thrift shop."
Unknown
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"I know it’s not about the destination; it’s about the journey, especially when you're stuck in New York traffic!"
Unknown
"New Yorkers are born with a sense of direction, but will still choose to get lost just for fun."
Unknown
"In New York, it feels like everyone is in a hurry until they’re waiting for coffee."
Unknown
"Living in New York is like being in an episode of Friends, except nobody is friendly."
Unknown
"In New York, the food is as diverse as the people; and sometimes, so are the personalities!"
Unknown
"I love New York, even though it is a filthy place, which smells completely awful and I actually really like that about it."
Paul Auster
"New York: where everyone mutinies but no one abandons ship."
Bill McKibben
"When you're in New York, it's a big city, life is much bigger; everything is more intense."
Megan Fox
"In New York, you can be a new person every day."
Anonymous
"If I can make it there, I’ll make it anywhere!"
Frank Sinatra
"New York is a place where you can be anything you want to be, including a New Yorker."
Anonymous
"I’m in love with cities I've never been to and people I've never met."
John Green
"If you don't like New York, then you don't like life."
Anonymous
"New York is an island of the world. You can be anything you want to be in New York, both for good and for bad."
James St. James
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"I guess the best way to get a taste of New York is to get a taste of New Yorkers — they are everything!"
Anonymous
"New York is the only city in the world where you can die of hunger in the middle of a power lunch."
Anonymous
"I love New York, and I love the people. They reflect who I am and who I want to be."
Wendy Williams
"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light — in this case, they are New York."
Anonymous
"New Yorkers are born with an innate sense of the course of a day."
Anonymous
"They say that the city never sleeps, well guess who else is up all night in New York."
Billy Joel
"New York City is a great place for people who love working really hard for very little."
Anonymous
"To be in New York is to be in the center of the universe."
Anonymous
"A New Yorker’s idea of a city is the building piled on building, crammed with life and noise, and broken dreams."
Diana Vreeland
"New York: the city that never sleeps, with the most interesting people that never stop talking."
Anonymous
"There's a certain level of Nihilism that goes into living in New York — as if nothing is really that important."
Daniel J. Levitin
"In New York, I sometimes see a million people that I can talk to, and sometimes, I see a million people that I don't want to talk to."
Anonymous
"New York is a city that takes everything and gives you back nothing. But the nothing is priceless."
Anonymous
"If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. It's up to you — New York, New York."
Frank Sinatra
"New York is one of the few places where people can be authentically strange without being judged too harshly."
Anonymous
"In New York, they have a saying: 'Fish smells from the head down.'"
Anonymous
"Life in New York is like an entertaining TV show. Either you love it or you can’t stand it!"
Anonymous
"New York is the only city that ever had a parade for the return of a dog."
Unknown
"In New York, you’re always a little bit in love, a little bit in shock, and a little bit in a hurry."
Unknown
"The subway is a great place to meet people. In fact, it's the only place where you can stand in a crowd and still feel completely alone."
Unknown
"If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. But let’s be real, making it means finding parking."
Unknown
"I love New York. You can’t help but love New York. It’s like a relative that you don’t like, but you love anyway."
Unknown
"New York is the land of the free, with the most expensive rent in the world."
Unknown
"In New York, bad manners are often a sign of a good heart."
Unknown
"The streets of New York have a way of making you think you could do anything. Then you try and find out there’s a permit for that."
Unknown
"New York City: where you can be anyone you want to be, as long as you're willing to pay for it."
Unknown
"You can’t be sad in New York. It’s a law somewhere, I’m sure."
Unknown
"The three most important things in New York are: 1) Get a ticket. 2) Get out of the way. 3) Get on with your life."
Unknown
"If you can survive in New York, you can survive anywhere. But do you really want to?"
Unknown
"New York: where ‘let’s grab a coffee’ means standing in a line for thirty minutes."
Unknown
"I thought I was going to be a New Yorker, but the traffic convinced me otherwise."
Unknown
"They say New Yorkers are tough. I say we’re just well-prepared for anything life throws at us—like a pigeon shitting on your shoulder."
Unknown
"New York is a city that will take your breath away and leave you gasping for air during the subway rush."
Unknown
"In New York, ‘vintage’ means last week’s fashion."
Unknown
"Only in New York can you find a homeless man debating Sartre with a barista."
Unknown
"In New York, you don’t ask for directions; you ask for someone’s opinion—and it’s always loud and strong."
Unknown
"Living in New York City is like being on a never-ending rollercoaster—except there’s no safety bar and you can’t scream."
Unknown
"In New York, there are two types of people: New Yorkers and those who are too afraid to cross the street."
Unknown
"You’re required by law to be an optimist in New York. Otherwise, why would you live in a shoebox for $3,000?"
Unknown
"New York is a world of contrasts, where the wealthy eat caviar while the poor are just trying to find a place to sit down."
Unknown
"New York is not a place; it’s a way of life. And everyone here is just trying to get a good selfie."
Unknown
"New Yorkers are people who can eat a slice of pizza walking down the street while still texting their therapist."
Unknown
"In New York, time is money, but the taxi drivers have no problem charging you extra for not hurrying."
Unknown
"I love New York, even though it isn’t a perfect city. It’s a city where a million different stories unfold each day, and I guess that’s kind of funny when you think about it."
David Simon
"New York is a city that’s not just a city. It’s a carnival, a party, a haven for all things strange and funny."
Walt Whitman
"I'm hopelessly in love with a place called New York."
Jon Stewart
"In New York, you can be a cockroach or a cab driver – it’s all the same to me."
Paul Auster
"You can’t be unhappy in New York. You can’t be a comedian unless you’ve walked the streets of New York."
George Carlin
"New York is an island of tears surrounded by a sea of fun."
Johnny Carson
"I’ll never forget my first summer in New York. It was great, I turned into a melting pot."
Chris Rock
"You haven’t had enough fun in New York until you realize you’ve been out all night and the sun is coming up."
Ellen DeGeneres
"In New York, they know the difference between a girl who is just passing through and a girl who is here for the long haul."
Sarah Jessica Parker
"There’s a fine line between a superpower and a funny situation, and New York definitely walks that line."
Jon Lovitz
"I can’t imagine life without New York – it’s like peanut butter without jelly."
Mindy Kaling
"New York's like a broken fluorescent light bulb. Some days it shines, some days it flickers, but you got to love it anyway."
Woody Allen
"New York is the only city where I can be someone else for a moment and then just be myself again."
Barbra Streisand
"In New York, you can get a cab in two seconds, while in Los Angeles, you can’t even get a cab driver’s attention."
Jerry Seinfeld
"When you’re in New York, you’ve got to travel in style. Be it in a cab or a major league baseball game."
Jimmy Fallon
"There is no city like New York, where the absurdities of life are just a stone’s throw away."
David Letterman
"New York is ugly. It’s a vibrant, funny, ridiculous place, but it’s definitely not conventionally beautiful."
Kathy Griffin
"Life in New York is both dazzling and laughable – the kind of city where every street corner is a stage."
Kris Kristofferson
"The weekends in New York are a total circus, but at least the clowns are funny!"
Tina Fey
"They say New Yorkers are rude, but how can you be rude when you have so much to laugh about?"
Bill Maher
"New York is the city that never sleeps. I rest my case."
Madonna
"The fun in New York is not whether you succeed or fail, it’s about how hilarious your adventures are."
Louis C.K.
"You can experience the best and the worst, all with a sense of humor, in the wildness of New York."
Bill Burr
"In New York, life can be a tricky business. You laugh or you cry, but the laughter is better."
Jim Gaffigan
"New York humor is unique; it’s about reality and the tiny funny things that punctuate our lives."
Gilda Radner
"What’s funny about New York? Everything – it’s a city fueled by laughter and unyielding spirit."
Robin Williams
"I love New York. You can pop into a deli at 3 a.m. and get a bagel and a newspaper. It’s like a 24-hour city."
James Franco
"If you don't like New York City, you can go to hell."
Joe Lhota
"There’s no 'we' in pizza."
Unknown
"I think there should be chaos in the world and you should make enough money to be able to live there."
David Mamet
"New York is a city that does not sleep; it’s a city that wakes at two in the morning to find new adventures."
Muriel Rukeyser
"When you leave New York, you ain’t going nowhere."
Billy Crystal
"There's something in the New York air that makes sleep useless."
Simone de Beauvoir
"I'd rather be in New York, even if it's raining, than anywhere else."
Doris Day
"New York is the only city where you can ask someone for the time and they’ll give you a lecture on their career."
Unknown
"In New York, they’re the most concerned about your happiness and the least concerned about your health."
Henry Rollins
"It’s like a jungle, I’ve got to live in a jungle – it keeps me awake!"
Lil' Kim
"The problem with New York is that it's not really a city, it’s a state of mind."
Caryn James
"You can’t take New York out of me; it’s in my bones."
Roberta Flack
"New York is really about the people. Of course, it’s the greatest city in the world, but we’re the ones that make it great."
Tina Fey
"Making garlic bread is no joke when you live in New York; they take their carbs seriously."
Unknown
"I adore New York City. So many restaurants—that's what I miss most."
Lindsay Lohan
"If Manhattan was erased from the earth, an alien visiting Earth would deduce that this planet is worth visiting."
Sam Peckinpah
"New York is an exciting, vibrant place; like living in a garden of madmen."
Faye Dunaway
"A bad day in New York is better than a good day anywhere else."
Unknown
"You haven't lived until you've danced in New York."
Anonymous
"You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone in New York, but that’s when the magic happens."
Toni Morrison
"The only thing better than talking about food is eating food in New York."
Marian Burros
"New Yorkers are direct. If they don’t like you, they let you know."
Jack Nicholson
"If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. So why would you want to?"
Frank Sinatra
"Dare to live in New York—the city that never sleeps but always dreams."
Hillary Clinton
"Pizza is like the New York skyline. It can vary, but it’s always stunning."
Jerry Seinfeld
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