98 result(s) for Funny Insult Quotes.
"If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
"I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"You're such a beautiful person... from a distance."
"You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"It’s not that I’m afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens."
"I’d like to see things from your perspective, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass."
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"You are the reason God created the middle finger."
"I'd call you a tool, but that implies you are actually useful."
"You’re like a software update: when I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"You're as sharp as a marble."
"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither."
"You always bring me so much joy... when you leave the room!"
"The last time I saw something like you, I flushed it."
"I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"You're proof that God has a sense of humor."
"I'd explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke."
"You're as useless as the 'ueue' in 'queue'."
"I’m not saying you’re annoying, but I’d unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"It's not that I'm smarter than you. It's just that you're so much dumber than me."
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"I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter conversation than the one I'm having with you."
"I would call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful."
"Some day you’ll go far… and I hope you stay there."
"You're like a slinky: not really good for much, but you bring a smile when you fall down the stairs."
"If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty."
"You're so full of it, you make a fart sound smart."
"I'd love to see things from your perspective, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."
"You're like a software update: it takes forever, and when it finally happens, it's nothing special."
"I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly."
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you."
"If you’re going to be a smartass, first you have to be smart. Otherwise, you’re just an ass."
"You are proof that evolution can go in reverse."
"I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality."
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"You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it's a beautiful day."
"I'd agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"You're as bright as a black hole and twice as strange."
"I would explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"You're the human version of a participation trophy."
"You're proof that even evolution makes mistakes sometimes."
"You're about as welcome as a rattlesnake at a barbecue."
"I’d say you’re full of it, but that implies you’re actually trying."
"Somewhere out there, a village is missing its idiot."
"You're not my type. In fact, you're not anyone's type."
"I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
"You're like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart."
"I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"You’re the reason God created the middle finger."
"You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them."
"If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be broke."
"You're the reason I’m keeping my distance from stupid people."
"I'd call you a head, but that would imply you actually think."
"I'd explain it to you, but your brain doesn't have enough bytes."
"You're like a candle in the wind. Useless and annoying."
"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my ass."
"You’re the human equivalent of a participation trophy."
"You're like a software license. Nobody reads you."
"I would call you a joke, but that would imply you are funny."
"You are a gray matter. Too bad you don’t use it."
"Your face makes onions cry."
"You're like a slinky—fun to watch fall down the stairs."
"When I look at you, I’m reminded of the phrase ‘the less said, the better.’"
"You're so dense that light bends around you."
"I’d call you a joke, but I don’t want to offend the entire comedy community."
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"You're not stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"I’d explain it to you but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"You're proof that even evolution makes mistakes."
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
"You bring everyone so much joy... when you leave the room."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I'd fart."
"You are like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"You're a gray matter short of a brain."
"I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful."
"You're the reason God created the middle finger."
"You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway."
"I’m not insulting you; I’m describing you."
"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."
"Somewhere, a village is missing its idiot."
"You’re as useless as a white crayon."
"You're quite the magnet for negativity, aren't you?"
"I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one."
"You're not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"You are the reason I have a middle finger."
"You have the perfect face for radio."
"If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet."
"If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world."
"I'd call you a tool, but that implies you would be useful."
"You're the reason I believe in the survival of the fittest."
"You're as bright as a black hole and twice as dense."
"If you were any more dense, we could use you to shield us from radiation."
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