123 result(s) for Funny Chess Quotes.
"Chess is like life in that it can be very stressful, but when it gets too stressful, it’s good to take a break and just laugh."
"Chess is a lot like tax. You build up a position and then you start to lose pieces every time you make a mistake."
"The more I read, the more I realize how much more I need to know, especially about chess!"
"Chess is war over the board. The object is to crush the opponent's mind."
"A chess game is simply a series of mistakes."
"In chess, as in life, a good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."
"You don’t have to be crazy to play chess, but it helps!"
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"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who play chess and those who don't."
"Chess is the only game that you can become a grandmaster and still have to shirk your responsibilities."
"Chess is a wonderful exercise. It keeps the mind active and allows you to spill your anger over the board."
"I'm not a great chess player, but I can play a great game of chess!"
"Chess: the only time you can take a pawn and not feel guilty about it."
"A chess player is like a magician who buries his tricks and shows only the result."
"Checkers is for children. Chess is for adults. Lying is for everyone!"
"If you watch a game of chess, you will see that the player in the contest is always thinking of the next piece to cower beneath!"
"The best way to go broke is to play chess with someone who actually knows how."
"When the chess game is over, the pawn and the king go into the same box."
"For chess players, the Grim Reaper is not the person who takes your life - it’s the one who takes your pawn!"
"Chess is the ultimate mind game; that’s why I like to drink coffee while I play, creates more chaos!"
"Never play chess with a pigeon. It will knock the pieces over, poop on the board, and strut around like it’s won."
"Chess is not just a game; it’s a way of understanding life, especially when things go wrong!"
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"Learning chess is like becoming an adult—it’s all about managing regret!"
"Chess is a game of personality and not just intelligence."
"The difference between a good player and a great player is the way they handle their mistakes."
"I have no use for a winged chess piece. I’ll stick to my rooks and pawns, thank you."
"I’m just a pawn in their chess game."
"Chess is a lot like taxes. You get in trouble when you don’t follow the rules."
"Checkmate is a great way to end an argument."
"I play chess like I’m running a marathon: slow and steady. And I usually end up out of breath."
"In chess, as in life, a little humor goes a long way."
"Chess is the only game that can lead to a checkmate, a draw, or a disqualification for bad behavior."
"I don’t believe in psychology. I believe in good moves."
"Why do I always lose at chess? Because I play against my self-doubt."
"I can't believe I lost to a kid in a T-shirt."
"Chess is like a war on a board. You trade pieces without lifting a sword."
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"When in doubt, play a knight. It’s the only piece that can jump out of its own troubles."
"To win at chess, you must think like a king, act like a pawn."
"Chess may not be everything in life, but it's a good excuse for not doing everything else."
"The only thing worse than my chess is my sense of humor."
"The only time I lose is when I forget the rules—all the other times, it's a draw."
"Chess is a game of imagination. I suffer from reality, so it balances out."
"Finding a good chess move is like finding a good pun. It's all about the right timing."
"Some people think that chess is life, but chess is just a game, and life is full of pieces."
"There is no excuse for losing. Unless I'm playing against my little brother."
"The best part about chess? You can always put your pieces back and try again."
"Chess is 99% tactics and 1% strategy, just like my cooking."
"What do you call a wolf in chess? A pawn wolf, because it’s a ‘pawn’ on the board!"
"Chess is a war over the board. The object is to crush the opponent's mind."
"You want to be great, you want to be the best, and you want to win; but the harder you fight the greater the chance you have of getting checkmated."
"I'm not a bad player. I just lose to better players."
"I don't believe in luck. I believe in preparation."
"If your opponent is of cherubic disposition, it is best to retire gracefully from the game."
"The winner of the game is the player who makes the next-to-last mistake."
"A chess problem is a problem that describes some position of a chess game and asks for a solution."
"There are two types of chess players: the ones that think and the ones that think they think."
"Chess is like a language. You must be aware of the different dialects."
"In chess, as in life, a great deal of chess is a matter of the right moves at the right time."
"Every chess master was once a beginner."
"I love to play chess, but I never have time. I think it's because I'm always playing catch-up."
"Chess is a beautiful mistress."
"You can’t play chess if you’re not willing to lose."
"If you think you are losing, you are probably already lost."
"It's not enough to be a good player; you have to be a bad player occasionally too."
"Chess is the art of analysis."
"Chess is 99% tactics."
"Chess is a matter of delicate judgment, knowing when to punch and how to duck."
"The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... and your opponent’s pawns!"
"Chess: the only game where being a pawn can get you promoted!"
"How is it possible that you may know all the openings and yet lose to someone who knows none?"
"Life is the most difficult chess game. Chess is only a game of skill."
"When they played chess they were like two drunk men trying to beat one another with whiskey bottles."
"Chess is like life on a board, full of ups and downs, every move tells a story."
"Chess is a war over the board. The board is the world. The pieces are the phenomenon of the world. The player is the creator of the world."
"I read the chess books, and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
"Chess: the only game where people walk in pairs and swap places without saying a word."
"Life is like a game of chess. To enjoy it, you have to make a move."
"I used to think I was bad at chess, but then I realized my opponents were just better at checking."
"You can't take a pawn and turn it into a queen without breaking the spirit of the game."
"Chess is the only game where a woman can knock down a king."
"My favorite chess piece? The Queen, because she gets to do everything."
"Chess is the only game where you can sit in the same room with your opponent and not say a word for hours."
"In chess, as in life, true wisdom is knowing when to leave."
"Checkmate: the only move that ends all debates."
"Chess: where losing is always an option."
"I like to think of chess as a gymnasium of the mind."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe, but I’m pretty sure about chess."
"If you don't know your opponent and you don't know yourself, you will lose every time. But if you know your opponent, you know yourself and you know chess, it’s just a matter of whether you get lucky."
"You can’t make a move in chess without being judged for it."
"I love playing chess with my friends, but I always lose because I keep forgetting whose turn it is."
"Chess is what your mind is when you’re not being yourself."
"A beautiful checkmate is worth 1,000 insults."
"The knight is a horse that can't be taken on a diagonal."
"I have no use for a king who can't hold his own."
"I'm not a chess player, I'm a chess entertainer."
"Computers are better than humans at chess because they don’t forget their mistakes."
"Chess is like a sacrament. You can sit there for hours without saying a word, and then when you finally make a move, the world explodes."
"Put a pawn on the square, and you can have as many queens as you want!"
"The only thing harder than getting a chess player to stop talking about chess is getting them to stop playing chess."
"I have a chess set in my house, but I always forget to put it away when I have guests."
"Chess is the only game where the loser is still a knight."
"When you see a good move, look for a better one."
"Chess is a game of chance, as well as skill... Surprisingly, the more you play, the more chance there is that your skill will show through."
"Chess is like taxes; everyone has to pay their dues."
"My chess coach told me to think like a king to be a king; I told him I prefer to think like a pawn and stay out of the limelight."
"In chess, as in life, a good strategy will get you further than a good excuse."
"I can't wait for chess to be an Olympic sport—I hear the training involves sitting!"
"My favorite chess opening? The one that opens up the snacks!"
"The only thing I don't like about chess is that no matter how good I get, my pieces never get up and move themselves."
"They say chess is like a war; I say it's like a sitcom where everybody overthinks everything."
"I play chess because I love it... and because I can’t tell my pieces to shut up when they start arguing!"
"Sometimes I keep my chess pieces on the table to remind myself that life is just one big game!"
"Playing chess is the only time I enjoy making mistakes—because then I get to say it was a brilliant sacrifice!"
"Checkmate! Don’t bother me, I’m busy winning the game of life."
"Chess: where a square is a square, but you're still allowed to be a knight."
"Why do chess players make terrible friends? They’re always thinking three moves ahead!"
"Winning and losing in chess are like being married. Either way, you’ve got to pay attention!"
"Chess is 99% tactics—you just have to remember to find the funny in the endgame."
"If chess is a game of kings, then why is my favorite piece a jester?"
"Chess: the art of playing with pieces while avoiding checkups!"
"I once lost a chess game because I spent too much time looking for the ‘undo’ button."
"A day without chess is like a day without sunshine... except it's mostly just cloudy."
"If life were a game of chess, I'd be the pawn that forgot it was supposed to go forward."
"Chess is a game of patience while my opponent is busy losing theirs."
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