39 result(s) for Funny Attitude Quotes.
"I am not lazy, I am on energy saving mode."
"I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm sleeping."
"My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."
"I'm not sure what's tighter, our jeans or our budget."
"I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams."
"The road to success is always under construction."
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"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I try to contain my excitement, but I just can't."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be happy to do it for you."
"I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock."
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are my happy hour."
"My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I'm now hugging my bills."
"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
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"I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms."
"Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"I'm not sure what's tighter, our jeans or our friendship."
"I am not always sarcastic. Sometimes I am sleeping."
"I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
"My therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. So, I'm now hugging a bottle of wine."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
"When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room."
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
"I hate when I lose things at work like pens, papers, sanity..."
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"I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies and the walls get in my way."
"I try to contain my crazy, but I lose it sometimes."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists."
