114 result(s) for Funny Shot Glass Quotes.
"I only drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not."
"Save water, drink vodka."
"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
"Alcohol! Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"A balanced diet is a cocktail in each hand."
"I like my whiskey like I like my women: aged and smooth."
"When life gives you lemons, order a shot of tequila."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"Here's to alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it (with a shot!)."
"Good friends and good whiskey are the best medicine."
"I tried to lose weight, but it keeps finding me."
"I can resist anything except temptation (and a good shot)."
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog (and the size of the shot glass)."
"Why limit happy to an hour?"
"If you think I'm crazy now, wait until I've had a few shots!"
"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer to drink it from a shot glass."
"Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we may die."
"Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else (especially with your favorite shot!)."
"Reality called, so I hung up (and poured a shot)."
"I’m not tipsy; I’m just creatively interpreting my surroundings."
"Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with somebody eating a salad."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
"Cheers to those who inspire us and don’t even know it."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I make pour decisions."
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for beer."
"This is my happy hour."
"Drinking before noon is socially acceptable if you’re a toddler."
"I told the bartender to put the drinks on my tab, but he said, 'I can't. You don't have a tab.' I said, 'That’s okay, just drink two for me.'"
"Friends don’t let friends drink alone."
"Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. And that includes excuses for drinking."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away, if the doctor is cute."
"I’m just here for the snacks and the drinks."
"To alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems."
"Here’s to the nights we won't remember with the friends we won’t forget."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I like my whiskey like I like my men: smooth and Kentucky-bred."
"I’m on a 30-day diet. So far, I’ve lost 15 days."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer. And that’s kind of the same thing."
"They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye."
"Drink triple, see double, act single."
"Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there... at the bar."
"Alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems."
"A shot a day keeps the doctor away."
"This is a shot of happiness."
"I drink to forget; I just can’t remember what."
"I’d rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea."
"Cheers to the nights we won’t remember, with the friends we won’t forget."
"Some call it a hangover, I call it the price of fun."
"In wine, there is truth. In whiskey, there is wisdom. In tequila, there is fun."
"You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning."
"A balanced diet is a shot in each hand."
"Never trust a skinny bartender."
"When in doubt, tequila it out."
"There’s a time and place for everything: It’s called happy hour."
"What goes down must come up."
"Drink responsibly — but don’t forget to have fun!"
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy shots, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Beer: because you can’t drink bacon."
"Life is brewtiful."
"Good friends and a bottle of wine make for a great time."
"Wine not?"
"Cheers to our friends, who drink with us as we sip our way through life."
"I’ve got a bad feeling about this shot."
"Sippin’ pretty."
"One shot, two shots, three shots, floor!"
"Alcohol: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"A good friend will always stab you in the front."
"Save water, drink beer."
"I only drink to make my friends seem interesting."
"Cheers to my friends, who always keep me sane, even if it's just in my inebriated imagination."
"I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
"I have mixed drinks about feelings."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy."
"If you can’t remember my name, just say 'whiskey' and I’ll turn around."
"I have a drinking problem – I can’t find my drink."
"I’m not an alcoholic. I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
"Drinking doesn't hurt me; it's what I drink that hurts."
"I like my drinks like I like my mornings: strong, hot, and sweet."
"A cocktail a day keeps the doctor away."
"Good friends don't let you do stupid things... alone."
"I'm on the patch. I can only drink half of what I used to."
"God made alcoholic beverages, and man made the clubs. So, they both must be good."
"Everything in moderation, including moderation."
"Sometimes, you just need to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with."
"Drink responsibly? I had to stop drinking responsibly; no one was taking me seriously."
"In wine, there is truth; in beer, there is strength."
"I was going to quit drinking, but then I just became a professional tippler!"
"A balanced diet is a shot glass in each hand."
"Alcohol may not solve all your problems, but neither will water."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who drink, and those who are personally responsible for every tragedy in their life."
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"The only thing better than a glass of whiskey is a shot of whiskey."
"I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not."
"You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning."
"Life is too short to drink bad wine."
"In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria."
"Drink like nobody is watching."
"Cheers to nights we won't remember, with friends we'll never forget."
"My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot."
"Sip happens. It's all in how you handle it."
"Beer: because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine."
"Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems."
"I’ve got a drinking problem—two hands and only one mouth."
"Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you're a terrible decision maker."
"The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just acting."
"Drink more champagne for no reason at all."
"Good friends and fine wine, the older, the better."
"There's no such thing as too much fun when you have a shot glass in each hand."
"To alcohol: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems!"
"Wine not? Let’s raise a glass to make it a great day!"
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
