131 result(s) for Herbert Family Guy Quotes.
"I’m not a pervert, I’m a ‘cultural anthropologist.’"
"You know, it’s funny. My whole life, I’ve been nothing but a loser. But you guys...you’ll be the greatest thing that ever happened to me."
"I’m gonna tell your mother you were touching my leg."
"I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’ve never seen that kid before in my life."
"Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy."
"I’m going to call the police, and I’m going to tell them a great story."
"Why don’t you come on over here and sit on my knee?"
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"That boy's got a real 'Lee Harvey Oswald' quality about him."
"I can’t wait to get my hands on some of that sweet, sweet boy meat."
"You’re like a little snowflake; you’re all unique and different."
"I’m not going to say anything until I calmed down."
"I’ve never been good at anything except for loving you."
"It’s not a party without the children."
"If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that the kids are alright."
"I’m just trying to lighten the mood around here!"
"What’s the point of even having fun, if it’s not with a child?"
"Sometimes I can’t help but think about children."
"You know I can bake muffins, right? I could definitely bake you some."
"In my day, we didn’t have the internet, we had real-life encounters."
"When I was younger, I was definitely a go-getter."
"Every child deserves love and attention."
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"It’s important to be kind to the young ones."
"I’m a big fan of kids with a love of adventure."
"Why don’t we just sit here quietly, and I’ll tell you about my childhood?"
"Just make sure to be on your best behavior!"
"I hope you’re ready for some stories!"
"I like the way you talk. That's a nice talk. Can I have a hug?"
"You know what I like? I like little boys. I mean, it’s easy to get lost in the sexual innuendos, but I really think they’re just delightful!"
"Boy, I hope I can still make a few more jellies before I die!"
"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy candy—and that's pretty close."
"I'm just an old man who loves his music!"
"You want to see my collection of old wheels? Oh, I think you'll love it!"
"It’s not that I’m against you, I’m just for me."
"I've got a special friend who likes to visit for things like this."
"I’m a sucker for a kid in need. And a kid in general."
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"You’re lucky you didn’t get invited to a sleepover at my place."
"Oh, I really need to get back to my friends at the bingo hall!"
"I remember when kids were nice... and didn’t talk back."
"Those were the days! Back when I could throw a ball around and not break my hip."
"The government should provide every child with a bike and some candy. That’s America!"
"Do you want to come check out my basement?"
"There's nothing like a group of children playing to remind you of the good ol' days… and to keep you on your toes!"
"Back in my day, kids weren’t glued to their screens. They were glued to their imaginations!"
"You see that bike? It’s roomier than you might think."
"I sure would like to find a dog that’s as sweet as me."
"I have quite the collection of vintage toys. Want to see?"
"Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker."
"All I need is a little sunshine and a little boy to come sit with me."
"They say laughter is the best medicine, but I say candy is a close second."
"I often think fondly of simpler times. Well, easier to hide a body back then, too."
"If you need me, I’ll be in my yard, waiting for trick-or-treaters!"
"I love being outside. The fresh air, the children playing... what could be better?"
"I like your style, but I would have to say that I prefer a little more... daringness."
"Hey, you kids! Get off my lawn!"
"I don't want to be a bother, but if you could get me a glass of water, I'd appreciate it."
"I have a great idea! I could buy a whole bag of candy, and then I would have candy."
"You know, I was once in a situation like this, and let me tell you, it rarely ends well."
"I'll take the long way to the store; I want to pass by all the nice houses."
"You know what they say, it’s not the age; it’s the mileage."
"At my age, you have to be somewhat choosy. I only invite over the finest young men."
"Life is like a box of chocolates; I just hope it comes with young fellas."
"The secret to living a long life is to keep it exciting and slightly dangerous."
"I’m just a sweet old man with a penchant for the young and lively."
"Sometimes I feel like a breeze; light and carefree. But then I see a nice little boy and things change."
"Get off my lawn, you sassy little devil!"
"You can’t trust anybody these days; even the ice cream man has ulterior motives."
"Why don’t you come over to my place sometime? I have cookies."
"My favorite color is lavender because it’s so fresh and youthful-looking."
"I built my house for comfort, not just for looks. Look at the way I arranged the furniture!"
"There’s nothing like the smell of summer and the sight of a lovely young lad."
"I’m like a fine wine; I get better with age, and I still have a lot of zest."
"In my day, we had real adventures, and you kids wouldn’t last a day!"
"The world is a beautiful place, especially when you see it from your porch."
"When I was your age, we didn’t have all these fancy gadgets and gizmos."
"Sometimes I’ve thought about taking a long road trip... for inspiration."
"If you ever feel lost, just think of the candy aisle; it’s full of surprises."
"I’ve got a secret recipe for cookies... but it requires a specific kind of boy to truly appreciate it."
"My heart flutters like a butterfly when I see a young man go by."
"You know what really grinds my gears? The fact that I have to send a letter to my own parents to let them know I’m going to get the yearly Christmas card! What's next, a phone call?"
"I love children. They’re like little candy bars."
"I’m not that good with names, but if you’re a little boy, I’ll remember you."
"I’m not a bad guy; I’m just misunderstood. I just love kids a little too much."
"It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again!"
"You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a child by how cute they are."
"I might be old, but I still got it!"
"Oh, what the hell, I’ll do it! I’m all about kids and candy bars."
"I’m a family guy. I love my family… especially the little ones."
"Sometimes, you gotta just give in to your urges and eat that candy… or that child."
"You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a boy run after a kite."
"A penny saved is a penny earned… especially when you’re buying candy."
"Is it wrong to say I love little boys? It’s just a preference!"
"Why do I have to be the one who says 'stay away from my candy?'"
"You can’t keep a good man down, especially if he has a stash of candy."
"Don’t let anybody tell you what you can’t do, except if it’s about little kids."
"I have a right to be this way. It’s called freedom!"
"Just ‘cause I'm old doesn't mean I can’t party!"
"Young boys like sweet things, and I have all kinds of sweets!"
"You know, just because I’m a little creepy doesn’t mean I’m not innocent!"
"If I had a dollar for every time somebody thought I was a weirdo, I would have… well, a lot of candy."
"What’s wrong with wanting to have a little fun with the neighborhood kids?"
"That’s my picnic basket! They can’t take my candy!"
"In my day, we didn’t have all these fancy gadgets. We had candy bars, and that was enough."
"I might be old, but I’m still a kid at heart!"
"I’m not a monster; I’m just an old man who loves to make children laugh."
"I don't want to be a ghost! I don't want to be a ghost!"
"I'm gonna mess you up!"
"You don't know what you're dealing with!"
"I may be old, but I'm not dead!"
"I could be your grandpa!"
"I got a good feeling about this."
"Don't make me get the wooden spoon!"
"How's that for a plan?"
"You better run fast, boy!"
"There's no harm in having a little fun."
"Why don't you come sit on my lap?"
"You know, you really should visit more often."
"I could really use some company."
"Kids are like puppies... sometimes they just need to be trained."
"I'm not just another old man. I'm Herbert!"
"I'll always remember your first time."
"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?"
"Do you want to see my collection?"
"Sometimes I just like to sit back and enjoy the view."
"Who's a good boy?"
"I make the best cookies in town!"
"You can't trust anyone these days."
"I've got a knack for picking winners."
"If you need anything, just ask."
"My door is always open."
"Sometimes the world just needs a little love."
"There's magic in the little things."
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