108 result(s) for Funny Quotes For 80th Birthday.
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it."
"When you’re fifty, you’re in your prime. When you’re eighty, you’re an antique."
"The best part about being over eighty is that you’ve spent a lifetime collecting ridiculous stories."
"You’re not 80, you’re 18 with 62 years of experience!"
"Eighty is the new thirty. At least that’s what I’m telling myself!"
"At 80, you have to choose between your sense of humor and your unfulfilled dreams."
"Just remember, once you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
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"I have reached an age where if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to."
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel any different than I did when I was 20. Just more knowledgeable."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, and I forget the other two."
"Growing old is like being increasingly penalized for a crime you didn’t commit."
"I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot!"
"You know you’re getting old when you can’t find your car keys and you don’t even own a car."
"You’re never too old to learn something. Just don’t ask me to remember it!"
"I finally reached the age where I carry my own shopping bags! What’s next, cooking my own meals?"
"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength."
"We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"At my age, you know, I just see things as they are. Lousy."
"I don’t feel old. I feel like a kid who just got a great gift."
"You’re only as old as you feel, and I feel like a million bucks."
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"I’m not old. I’m just becoming a classic."
"When the candles on your cake cost more than the cake itself, you know you’re getting old."
"You know you’re getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."
"The longer you live, the more you realize that life is just one big joke."
"Old age is always fifteen years older than I am."
"I can’t believe I’m 80. I still feel like I’m 20, but my body is not cooperating."
"It’s hard to be humble when you’re as great as I am."
"If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
"People say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body."
"You know you're getting old when there are more candles on the cake than there is cake."
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
"If you don’t act your age, then you can’t be old!"
"At 80, you’re not getting older. You’re getting more experienced."
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"Life’s too short to be serious all the time. You’ve got to lighten up and have fun!"
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"Don’t worry about getting older; worry about not getting wiser."
"The older I get, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life."
"At 80, you finally have your head together, but your body is falling apart."
"The older I get, the more I embrace my inner cranky old man."
"The older I get, the better I know myself, but the less I can remember."
"You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever."
"It's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"I can't believe I'm 80! I still feel like I'm 20... right after a long nap."
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese."
"Eighty is the new funny age."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
"I'm 80 years old, and I want to be like fine wine. Smart and sophisticated but also a little crazy."
"You’re never too old to come up with a new age for yourself."
"First you’re young, then you’re middle-aged, and then you’re ‘hey, you’re still alive!’"
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you get your bearings, you find it hard to get back down."
"Life doesn't cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
"I'm at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Eighty may be too old for some people, but it’s just right for me."
"I can’t believe I’m 80! I mean, it’s not like I’m turning 81."
"Youth is a gift of nature, but age is a work of art."
"If you’re going to be 80, you might as well be fabulous about it!"
"The best part about being 80 is you can say whatever you want; they just call it wisdom."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep to get up and eulogize me. And then I want to be buried with her."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"I wish I had a dollar for every time I said that. I’d be a millionaire!"
"It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."
"Don’t let aging get you down. It’s too hard to get back up!"
"You’re never too old to learn something stupid."
"I’ll never be as old as I look!"
"The older I get, the more I realize that the world is full of very immature people."
"We’re all here because we’re not all there."
"You know you're getting old when the only place you want to go is back to bed."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"You know you’re getting old when you start having to apologize for your farts."
"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to."
"There’s something kind of fantastic about the idea of being old enough to say anything you want."
"When I was a kid, I wanted to be older... this is not what I expected."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two."
"Age is like underwear. It creeps up on you."
"To me, old age is always ten years older than I am."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you. Happy 80th Birthday!"
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"At 80, you’ve earned the right to be a little bit cranky. Don’t waste it!"
"The older I get, the more I realize that age is just a number. Literally, a really high number."
"You’re not 80, you’re 18 with 62 years of experience."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"Eighty is the new twenty, just with a few more aches!"
"At 80, if you can still laugh at yourself, you’re doing great!"
"You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!"
"The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana."
"Congratulations on reaching the milestone of 80 years old! Now you can tell people you’re in your ‘third act’!"
"I can't believe you're 80. You still look fabulous... for a senior citizen!"
"You know you’re old when you bend down to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there."
"Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
"Life begins at 80. Just kidding, you probably need a nap!"
"Congratulations on being the life of the party for 80 years!"
"At this age, you can openly admit you're tired of adulting all your life."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"Turning 80 is like having a front-row seat to the world’s greatest show - the show of life!"
"You don’t stop laughing when you grow old. You grow old when you stop laughing!"
"Aging is like fine wine: it gets better with age, or it just turns to vinegar. We’re hoping for wine!"
"You're like a fine wine: the older you get, the better you taste!"
"Age is a high price to pay for maturity."
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