50 result(s) for Sarcastic HR Quotes.
"I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm sleeping."
"I survived another meeting that should have been an email."
"HR: Because managers can’t be trusted to do it themselves."
"I’m sorry, did my sarcasm hurt your feelings? I hope so."
"Sarcasm: because beating people is illegal."
"I'm not sure what's tighter, our budget or your pants."
"Oh, you want me to treat you like an adult? Then act like one."
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"Employee engagement? Is that like forced fun?"
"My door is always open... unless I'm on a conference call."
"We value your feedback. (But we may not use it.)"
"Human Resources: Making work…work."
"I embrace mistakes, they make great stories later."
"Meetings: none of us is as dumb as all of us."
"Change is inevitable. Except from vending machines."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will try to put things into it."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"HR: The professional babysitters of the corporate world."
"I came, I saw, I made it awkward."
"Just because I tolerate you doesn't mean I like you."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not."
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"HR: We're here to help. (Terms and conditions apply)"
"I'm not judging you. I'm diagnosing you."
"Well, that’s just great."
"I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
"By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day."
"The Peter Principle: In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence."
"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early."
"People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up."
"Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished."
"I believe in pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps. I just don't believe that everybody has boots."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
"The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time."
"I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."
"My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home."
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"A consultant is someone who saves you from your own bad ideas."
"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
"I have always been of the opinion that if you hire the appropriate people and give them good directions, then they are going to do a better job than you ever would have done yourself."
"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
"When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other."
"I quit my job recently and didn't tell anyone. I've just been going to work like normal."
"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher."
"There's too much blood in my caffeine system."
"I plan on living forever, so far so good."
"The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive."
"The key to success is knowing the size of your blind spot."
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