117 result(s) for Quotes That Don’t Make Sense.
"Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?"
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"I think I am, therefore I am. I think."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you are missing the better joke."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I am not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
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"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time."
"Always remember that you are unique... just like everyone else."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
"I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough."
"I am a firm believer in the philosophy of a ruling class, especially since I rule."
"The bullet of a grapefruit is not as dangerous as the tongue of a woman."
"If you think about it, cake is really just a glorified bread."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach photos."
"Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."
"Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool."
"I am having an out-of-body experience—too bad I forgot to pack snacks."
"I just want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car."
"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
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"The cake is a lie."
"A penny saved is a penny earned, but a penny lost is just a penny."
"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously."
"This statement is false."
"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"
"The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I am not a cake. I am a person."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, but sometimes, it helps to take a leap."
"The more you know, the more you realize you don't know."
"Another word for thesaurus is a thesaurus."
"Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?"
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders."
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"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally."
"Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get unless you read the label."
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. And also glitter."
"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
"Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left."
"An octopus is a fish; that's why it has fins."
"If you say the word 'crisis,' you can start a fire without any matches."
"I wish I could be a bird, but then I would be a flying pig."
"The moon is made of cheese, but the cheese doesn't dance."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I’ll be back in two shakes of a lamb’s tail."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"It’s not the heat, it’s the humility."
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
"Floating in the air, like a pizza slice in space."
"I can't tell you if a fish is a rat, but it's certainly not a bicycle."
"The cat sat on the mat, and the mat was a sandwich."
"Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end."
"To be or not to be, that is a pickle."
"If the cat's away, the mice will play the piano."
"This sentence is false."
"Yesterday, I was a chicken; today, I am an egg."
"A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you spend it."
"An octopus is a hundred-legged creature who carries his house on his back."
"Grasshoppers are musicians of the fields, but only when the wind is right."
"A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it’s two-tired."
"Time is a flat circle, but only on Tuesdays."
"Everything is relative, even the relative you don’t know."
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I can resist anything except temptation."
"The more you know, the less you understand."
"I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?"
"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I’m not arguing, I’m simply explaining why I’m right."
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a beautiful day."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work out, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If the world didn't suck, we would all fall off."
"If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?"
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"You know you’re not liked when you get handed the 30-second flight safety video."
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
"I don’t want to be a product of my environment. I want my environment to be a product of me."
"I am not a cucumber, nor a carrot, but I do appreciate a good salad."
"It's like trying to herd cats while juggling watermelons."
"If a tree falls in the forest, does it still bark at midnight?"
"The purple cow jumps over the moon when the stars are not aligned."
"A fish in a tree is worth two in a bush."
"Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana."
"You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish."
"As wise as an owl, yet as foolish as a banana peel."
"The road less traveled is littered with pineapple pizza."
"An octopus in a tuxedo never gets invited to dinner parties."
"Dancing with umbrellas during a snowstorm brings good luck."
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for spaghetti."
"If the shoe fits, it might be a time bomb."
"When pigs fly, the moon will be made of cheese."
"The sky is a canvas painted by a million invisible hands."
"Happiness can be found at the bottom of a cereal box."
"A dollar short and a day late, but I'm still on a roll."
"Chasing shadows can lead to a colorful sunset."
"A watched pot never boils, but an unwatched kettle sings."
"Clouds are the cotton candy of the sky."
"Mountains don’t move unless you push them with a gentle nudge."
"Butterflies can only be seen with the eyes of your heart."
"The sun dances on the rooftops like a ballerina with a cape."
"Words are but whispers of the stars in your hair."
"A smile is a wrinkle in the fabric of time."
"Every hour is a hamster, and every minute a guinea pig."
"A penny saved is a niagara of oranges lost."
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