25 result(s) for Humorous Religious New Year Quotes.
"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions."
"My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends lose ten pounds...by eating their desserts for them."
"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
"New Year's resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time."
"Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to."
"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."
"Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle."
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"New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those debts are large."
"May your troubles be less and your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door!"
"Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go."
"The proper way to make out a New Year's resolution is to decide upon some deeply repellant trait that you possess, thoroughly loathe it, and then resolve to inflict it on all your friends."
"I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding life, is too much of a daily event for me."
"Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account."
"My New Year's resolution is to stop pretending that I actually know what I'm doing."
"Last year, I made a resolution to lose weight. I've still got it!"
"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
"Each age has deemed the new-born year the fittest time for festal cheer."
"A New Year's dream about doing everything differently is a very dangerous thing. . . . Nothing is easier than self-deceit. . . ."
"We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives… not looking for flaws, but for potential."
"May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall!"
"New Year's most glorious failure: 'cleaning out the closet'."
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"May your New Year's be filled with only happy tears!"
"Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average... which means you've met your New Year's resolution."
"I’m so excited for the New Year. Unfortunately, I don’t have any resolutions to make since I’m already perfect."
"New Year's Resolution: Learn to tolerate the people who always interrupt me… I’m pretty sure there isn’t one."