126 result(s) for Funny Redneck Quotes.
"I got a redneck neighbor who thinks a 'quarter' is a piece of a dollar and a 'dime' is a character in a comic strip."
"You know you're a redneck when your home has wheels and your car doesn't."
"If the fence is too high, you might be a redneck."
"I’m a hillbilly. I can take the whole litter and pop it in my pants and nobody knows where it’s at."
"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it."
"There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."
"Rednecks make glamorous models—after all, they invented 'Beauty and the Beast.'"
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"You know you're a redneck if you think 'Fast Food' is a 75% chance of being at Taco Bell."
"When you're a redneck, your lawnmower is your pickup truck."
"You might be a redneck if your wife says, 'Come on over and look at my post hole.'"
"We had a lot of fun…and by a lot of fun, I mean ‘something fun’ that we still have yet to define to our parents."
"A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do."
"You might be a redneck if you think 'Yankee' is an abbreviation for 'Yankee Doodle.'"
"I couldn't find my car keys, so I loaned my truck to my neighbor."
"Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness."
"You might be a redneck if you can’t find your house because you've got too many backyard junk piles."
"Rednecks are like wild animals; when cornered, they will do crazy things."
"You might be a redneck if you have to take a bath before you get a sip of water."
"Rednecks are entrepreneurs, lifelong learners, and incredibly resourceful people."
"You might be a redneck if you have a beer truck for your lawnmower."
"You might be a redneck if your kids have more toys in the yard than in the house."
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"I have a friend who said he would rather die than swim with sharks. I told him to quit taking baths."
"You’re a redneck if you can’t tell the difference between a cowboy and a feller in a plaid shirt."
"It's not that I'm so smart; it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever been caught with your pants down fishing!"
"In my world, the quickest way to get to the front is to be in the back."
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, you’re missing the best joke of all."
"I’m so poor, I can’t even afford to pay attention!"
"You might be a redneck if you think 'Arby’s' is the name of a family of people."
"I thought I saw a bigfoot once, but it turned out to just be my cousin Jerry after a week of camping."
"Rednecks do it best in the dirt!"
"If you see a deer on the side of the road, don’t panic, it's probably just waiting for its Uber."
"You might be a redneck if your house doesn’t have curtains but your truck does."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch."
"There are two kinds of people in the world: those who love to fish and liars."
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"If you're not a redneck, you're just a regular person who doesn’t know how to have fun!"
"You might be a redneck if your idea of a three-course meal is a hot dog, potato chips, and a soda."
"I didn't know I was poor until I took a bus to the beach and realized I was the only one there with a fishing pole instead of a towel."
"You might be a redneck if you think a subdivision is part of a math problem."
"If you encourage others to start a family, you better be ready to babysit."
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups… or at family reunions."
"You might be a redneck if your backyard has a sign that says ‘Welcome to my oil field.’"
"The only thing that beats a truck is another truck."
"You might be a redneck if you think 'getting a promotion' means you get a bigger animal to hunt."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn’t fork."
"You might be a redneck if your dog and your best friend are the same person."
"Two wrongs don’t make a right, but three rights make a left."
"Life is short, but it’s an adventure, so eat your vegetables before you eat your ribs."
"You might be a redneck if you’ve ever seen your neighbor at the city dump and thought, 'Hey, dinner is served!'"
"If your idea of a good time is shooting a raccoon with your buddy, you're likely a redneck."
"I ain't saying my wife is a bad cook, but she uses a smoke detector as a cooking timer."
"You might be a redneck if you think a stockbroker is a market for cattle."
"If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, it’s time to let the dog in."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite tool is a redneck screwdriver (a flathead with a hammer)."
"A redneck's idea of higher education is a hole in the roof of the garage."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever had to hitch up your trailer before you can go get your toilet paper and beer."
"You might be a redneck if you're convinced that the most important crop is marijuana."
"You might be a redneck if you think a wedding ring is a good excuse for not having a good time."
"If you can operate a weed eater without breaking a sweat, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite television show is 'Cops'."
"You might be a redneck if you have a 'No Trespassing' sign in your front yard that leads to a 'Welcome' mat."
"If you can shake your own hand, you might be a redneck!"
"You might be a redneck if your best friend is your brother."
"You might be a redneck if your first name is a sentence."
"If you've ever crawled under your house with a 12-pack of beer and a gas mask, you're a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you've ever cleaned your gun at the dinner table."
"If you use your pickup truck as a toolbox, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you own more than three guns and you can't remember where you put them all."
"If your place is decorated with beer cans, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your parents met at a family reunion."
"If you think that 'y'all' is an acceptable term for multiple people, you're likely a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if you think barbecue is a food group."
"You might be a redneck if you can spell 'D-U-C-K' with your eyes closed."
"If you think a 'family vacation' means leaving the house in the same car, you might be a redneck."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite restaurant is a drive-thru liquor store."
"If you think we’re bad, you should see my sister’s family."
"I live in my own little world, but it's OK. They know me here."
"The only thing I know is that I know nothing, and that’s all I need to know."
"I'm not saying I’m the best, but I’m the best at being me."
"That ain't no lie, just a big ol' pile of redneck truth."
"You might be a redneck if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain."
"You might be a redneck if you think the NASCAR is a form of government!"
"If the fence is down, you know it’s time to visit your in-laws."
"The most important things in life aren’t things. Except for my truck. That’s definitely a thing."
"You might be a redneck if you have more than one hunting dog."
"When it rains, it pours, but when it doesn’t, we just fire up the grill."
"It's not that I talk too much, I just have a lot to say."
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
"You might be a redneck if your main source of income comes from the mud pit!"
"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
"What you see is what you get. And you probably ain't gonna like it."
"You might be a redneck if your favorite casserole is 'roadkill stew'."
"I’m from the country, and I like it that way."
"Sometimes, I think in my head, 'Let's be all fancy today.' Then I get dressed and say, 'Nah'."
"You might be a redneck if you think a quarterback is a refund."
"My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time."
"You might be a redneck if your bathrobe has a hood and comes with matching slippers."
"If you think it’s a good idea to bring a raccoon to the family BBQ, you might be a redneck."
"I can’t help but love a good piece of redneck wisdom; it reminds me where I came from."
"Just because I live in a small town doesn’t mean I have a small mind."
"I may be a little rough around the edges, but I do clean up nice."
"You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t."
"I went to a family reunion, and they introduced me to my uncle. It was like meeting a guy on my mom's side of the family that I hadn't seen in six years."
"If the trailer's a-rockin', don't come a-knockin'."
"I can't help it if I'm country. I mean, I'm living proof that you can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy."
"I'm not saying I'm a redneck, but I saw a 'Wanted' poster for me that said, 'Help us catch this guy,' and I said, 'Yeah, I'm right here!'"
"You know you’re a redneck if you have ever stared at a can of orange juice because it said 'concentrate'."
"I’ve got a car that’s one color. It’s a 'vintage' color, though. It’s called 'rust'."
"You know you’re a redneck when your family tree doesn’t have branches."
"If you ever see a raccoon on the side of the road waving his arms saying, 'Help!', don’t help him. That boy’s just trying to get you to stop."
"Redneck girl, you make my world go round. I wanna love you plain and simple, long as we’re together in this big ol’ town."
"The best thing about being a redneck is that it doesn’t hurt your credit score."
"I think in America, we have a high tolerance for stupidity and low tolerance for elitism."
"You might be a redneck if you think 'divorce' is a three-letter word."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: those who like to go camping and rednecks."
"If your dog is barking at the postman, you might just be a redneck."
"I love my truck more than my girlfriend. If I were her, I’d be jealous!"
"When you live in the country, you can tell which direction the wind is blowing because your dog is always pointing into it."
"If you can see your house from space, you might be a redneck."
"If your pickup truck is your second home, you might be a redneck."
"A redneck’s favorite flower is a 'Moonflower.' It blooms at night and is beautiful with a hint of class."
"You know you’re a redneck when your favorite vehicle has an engine bigger than your house."
"If you can't fix it with a hammer, you might need a bigger hammer."
"You might be a redneck if your idea of a good time is riding around in a truck with your friends and some cold drinks."
"You know you’re a redneck when the highlight of your year is the tractor pull."
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