25 result(s) for Funny Parent Quotes.
""Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.""
""I thought I'd never be that annoying person, but as soon as I had kids, I did a complete 180.""
""I asked my mother, 'Are you proud of me?' She said 'I'm proud of all my children.' I asked, 'Even my brother, who's in jail?' She said, 'Well, I'm proud he takes initiative.'""
""Parenthood is the scariest hood you'll ever go through.""
""Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now, I have six children and no theories.""
""A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.""
""I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then, I want to move in with them.""
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""If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?""
""There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and its mother's age.""
""The upside of kids is they feel love for you that no one else does. The downside is they ask for money all the time.""
""You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning and someone hands you a baby.""
""I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I would rather go to war.""
""Having a child is like getting a tattoo…on your face. You better be committed.""
""Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.""
""I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our family.""
""Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I'm looking forward to investigating in the future.""
""People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.""
""When your mother asks, 'Do you want a piece of advice?' it is a mere formality. You're going to get it regardless.""
""The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.""
""Nature's way of ensuring that she gets adequate help in the raising of her children is to make each generation think the previous one consisted of a bunch of dopers.""
""A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.""
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""Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.""
""The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.""
""There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.""
""The funny thing about kids is, they are the reason we lose it, and they are also the reason we hold it together.""
