25 result(s) for Funny Dad Quotes About Having A Baby.
"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up."
"When my kids were younger, I used to threaten them with: 'You're not going to get Christmas presents this year.' That was when they were little. Now that they're older, I say: 'You're not getting birthday presents this year.'"
"The first year of a baby's life is the hardest year of a parent's life. For me, it was that I was no longer the center of my own universe."
"Parenthood is a walk in the park…Jurassic Park."
"I thought I'd have a little pep in my step, but mostly I'm just pepped out."
"Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories."
"I don't know what's tighter, our jeans or our budget."
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"It’s not hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere."
"There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and its mother’s age."
"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."
"My father taught me a good lesson: Don't get to low when things go wrong. And don't get too high when things are good."
"Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows."
"Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee."
"The joys of parents are secret; and so are their grieves and fears."
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
"I gave my kids a báth once when they were younger, and I used dish soap. My wife was furious. 'Do you know what that does to their skin?' Apparently nothin'. They was clean."
"The trouble with being a parent is that by the time you are experienced, you are unemployed."
"Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch."
"I love being a dad, it's one of my favorite things to do: to be a dad. I think all my life I wanted to be a dad."
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare."
"There are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect children, but there are plenty of perfect moments along the way."
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"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."
"I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside."
"A six-year-old can probably do it, but that doesn't mean it's not difficult."
"Kids are expensive. I didn't realize how broke I was until I had kids."
