111 result(s) for Funny Old Man Quotes.
"You’re only as old as you feel. And I feel like a kid with a bad back."
"The older I get, the more I realize that I’m not the age I thought I was."
"I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all – I just can’t remember it all."
"Some people take longer to become old than others."
"It’s better to be over the hill than buried under it."
"Old age comes on suddenly and not gradually as is thought."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"The older I get, the more I realize I have no idea what I’m doing."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"The good news is that you get older. The bad news is that you get older."
"Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life."
"As we get older, we become more and more like our parents; but, luckily, our kids don't."
"Middle age is when you still believe you’ll feel better in the morning."
"You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not."
"We're all just kids in big people's bodies."
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying you."
"If you want to stay young, don’t let your mind age."
"The older I get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for."
"I’ve reached a point where I can’t stand people my own age. They’ve all turned into soft, lazy, complacent creatures."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"The older I get, the more I have realized that I am not always right. I was wrong before, and I will likely be wrong again."
"I’m not afraid of getting older. I’m afraid of getting boring."
"There’s something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"When you’re in your 80s, you’re always expecting to die, except when you’re in your 90s."
"I don't mind getting older, but my body is a 20-year-old in a 90-year-old's body."
"I'm so old, I can remember when an orange was just an orange and a grape was just a grape."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all. I just wish I could remember it."
"When I was a boy, I was told that anybody could become President. Now I'm beginning to believe it."
"You’re not old until you can’t remember what you’re looking for."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're in the plane, the wonders of flying are forgotten: You just hold on and hope for the best."
"It’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."
"I am not young enough to know everything."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I’ve decided I’m not old. I’m 18 with 40 years of experience."
"At my age, I should know better. I just don’t!"
"If you’re not getting older, you’re dead."
"One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young."
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, and you stay home and watch the other two."
"I don't know how I got over the hill without falling off."
"You’re only as old as the woman you feel."
"I've reached the age where happy hour is a nap."
"I have no idea how to age gracefully. I want to age recklessly."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you're aboard, you must sit tight and believe."
"Sooner or later, you realize that you’re no longer the life of the party. You're the old guy at the party."
"The older I get, the better I was."
"I may be a senior, but so what? I’m still hot!"
"At my age, I am entitled to be as grumpy as I want."
"The older I get, the more I realize that age is just a number; it’s how you feel that matters."
"Aging is like fine wine, it gets better with time!"
"I don’t mind getting older, but my body is telling me otherwise."
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes."
"I used to care what people thought of me. Now I … just don’t care."
"It’s not that I’m so smart; it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"Old age is a slow, gradual process of getting used to the things you thought you’d never tolerate."
"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."
"I'm at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"I don't feel old. I feel like a kid who likes to take naps."
"They say laughter is the best medicine. I guess that makes me a senior citizen pharmacist."
"Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you."
"I don't know what the secret to longevity is, but I know that I can help you find out."
"I have reached an age where if someone tells me to wear socks, I don't have to."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"My retirement plan is to live off my savings. I hope I don’t live too long!"
"I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do."
"You don't stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing."
"Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you hit turbulence, you just have to hang on."
"I'm so old that when I was young, rainbows were black and white."
"Age is not how old you are but how old you feel."
"I'm at the age where my doctor wants me to do athletic activities. I’m still looking for that activity!"
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"Some people say that getting old is like flying. But the truth is, it's mostly just a lot of turbulence."
"You know you're getting older when the music you grew up with is now 'classic.'"
"The older I get, the more I realize the value of a good nap."
"I can’t wait to turn 100 so I can stop working forever!"
"I'm 60 years old, but I feel like a 20-year-old. I feel like I’m 60 years old, too."
"Old age is when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it."
"I don’t feel old. I feel like a kid that just found out about adult problems."
"There's no such thing as aging, but maturing is all right."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving, but sometimes you just need to stop for a while."
"I’m past the age of watching reality TV to feel good about myself."
"I’m not lost, I’m exploring."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
"You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever."
"I’ve reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."
"Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional."
"I don’t feel old. I feel like a kid playing dress up."
"At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all - I just can’t remember it all!"
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Old age is when you are too young to die and too old to see a movie."
"I am not old. I am 25 plus shipping and handling."
"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places."
"You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old."
"The older I get, the more I realize that my parents were right."
"As you get older, three things happen: The first thing goes, and then the second thing goes, and then the third thing goes."
"I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it!"
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"The only time I feel old is when I'm around young people."
"Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you’re in the air, you’ll find your way home."
"Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes."
"It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything."
"If you don’t laugh at yourself, I will gladly do it for you."
"I’ve just turned 60; I’m a vintage model now!"
"If I knew I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself."
"You know you're getting old when you start to look like your driver's license."
"I’ve been blessed with aging. It’s like being fine wine. I’m getting better with age."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
