125 result(s) for Funny Customer Service Quotes.
"Customer service is the new marketing."
"A customer is the most important visitor on our premises. He is not dependent on us. We are dependent on him."
"The customer's perception is your reality."
"To keep a customer demands as much skill as to win one."
"There is only one boss: the customer. And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down, simply by spending his money somewhere else."
"Do what you do so well that they will want to see it again and bring their friends."
"Mistakes are a fact of life. It is the response to error that counts."
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"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination."
"If you're not a little confused by what's going on, you're not paying attention."
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
"Every contact we have with a customer influences whether or not they'll come back."
"Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning."
"Customer service shouldn't just be a department, it should be the entire company."
"People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care."
"The customer experience is the next competitive battleground."
"You don't build a business. You build people, and people build the business."
"In business, the challenge is not to die, it is to grow."
"Talk to your customers, listen to your customers, and give them what they want!"
"If the customer can't find you, your product will help them little."
"I find it easier to work at home. The only thing is that my cat likes to sit on my lap while I’m trying to work, and that can be a pain."
"Under promise and over deliver."
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"I wish I could shut my ears while I’m sleeping."
"The best customers are those who have never heard our name."
"The customer is always right... except when they're wrong."
"I told the customer we don’t have any shrinkage. He said, 'That’s okay, I’m on a diet anyway.'"
"I don’t have a problem with my customers; I just enjoy annoying them."
"If customers are the lifeblood of a business, I must have an iron deficiency."
"I love the way you think! Now let’s try to think outside of your issues."
"My job is to be polite until my caffeine kicks in."
"If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0."
"Remember, the happier you are the longer I’ll stay on hold."
"I knew I was going to be good at customer service when I spoke my first word: 'No.'"
"I can’t fix stupid, but I can try to redirect it."
"Customer service is like sex. It should be done with passion, and it’s not fun when it’s forced."
"If I had a dollar for every time I had to explain something, I’d be rich... and still explaining."
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"I don’t know what the customer wants, but I know what they don’t want: to be on hold."
"I have a joke about customer service, but it would require patience."
"I'm only here for the snacks."
"Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my car keys."
"Behind every angry customer, there's a story—a very boring story."
"I can’t make everyone happy. I’m not a taco."
"I once asked a customer, 'Is today a good day?' They replied, 'Every day is good when I’m not dead!'"
"Customer service is the fine art of getting less bad."
"Every time I see a customer service representative, a part of me dies. Just mildly though."
"You can't make everyone happy. You're not a jar of Nutella."
"Your complaint could be a great opportunity... for a refund!"
"If there is a customer service heaven, I hope to meet everyone there someday—hopefully life will be easier!"
"To be honest, I have no idea what I’m doing half the time. But let’s pretend I know!"
"The only customers who can be satisfied all the time are those who don’t exist."
"I think the customer is always right, but it’s my job to convince them they’re wrong."
"Customer service is the art of being nice to people who often aren’t nice to you."
"The customer is always right—by definition, they have never been wrong, because if they were, they wouldn’t be a customer."
"If we don’t take care of our customers, someone else will."
"I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
"The best way to predict the future is to create it. Unless it’s a return policy; then you’ll have to take what you can get."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"Sure, I can help you fix your customer service problem. Just give me three years of uninterrupted salary."
"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"Behind every successful customer service representative, there is a multitude of unsatisfied customers."
"To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential."
"When a customer says, ‘I’ll be back,’ it usually means they won't be."
"Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it."
"I can’t seem to get my feet off the ground; I keep tripping but I have great customer service!"
"Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia."
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
"The secret of success is to be ready when your opportunity comes."
"I am only human, although I regret it."
"We’re out of coffee? I guess we’ll just have to run on customer enthusiasm!"
"Your call is very important to us. Please hold."
"A customer’s feedback is the weight on our scale—it's how we balance our service."
"I’m just a phone call away— that’s why they call it customer service!"
"Selling is the most important thing you can do in customer service."
"I can’t fix it. I’m not the repair man. I can only offer my sympathy."
"Our customer service is like a phone booth. It's sometimes hard to get in, but once you're in, you're stuck with us until it’s over."
"Customer service is just a name for yelling at people who could help you but are too busy."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I am right… but I’m also customer service."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"The customer is always right—inside the store. Outside the store, they are your friend."
"If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success."
"We love our customers, but sometimes we love them from a distance."
"I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination… and avoid your complaints!"
"I told the customer it was free returns. I didn’t mention we don’t accept returns."
"Customer service: Where you take the ‘p’ out of patience."
"If you’re not a customer, you’re a broke procrastinator!"
"A satisfied customer is the best business strategy of all."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"Customer relationships are like a marriage: You have to put in the work, or you’ll end up arguing over who didn’t take out the trash."
"Some days, the customer is not only wrong but has also brought a friend!"
"Always listen to your customers. They’re usually right about something—even if it’s just how to annoy me."
"Thank you for calling customer service. If you are calling with a complaint, stay on the line… your misery is our pleasure!"
"I do not care if you break up with me; just don’t break my favorite mug!"
"The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary, and that doesn’t come with customer service!"
"Your call is very important to us, especially during our lunch break!"
"In customer service, every argument you win is a relationship you lose."
"I can’t help you with your request right now, but if you’d like to leave a voicemail, I’ll ignore it later!"
"Without our customers, we are nothing. Literally. I would have lost my job a long time ago!"
"Customer service is not a job; it’s a bold experience of always keeping up with ridiculous requests."
"Taking your complaints seriously is a part of our customer service revolution! Just kidding—call us back later."
"The customer is always right... except when they're not."
"I don't get paid enough to deal with foolishness."
"If you think customer service is a joke, you're absolutely right!"
"I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
"When all else fails, have a good laugh!"
"I love customers, they are always helpful when I need to demonstrate my skills!"
"Some days you just have to create your own sunshine... and maybe a few laughs!"
"Your complaint has been noted in my diary of things I won’t remember."
"I've learned that it's easier to work with people if you pretend they're on your team."
"Sorry for the inconvenience, but you must have mistaken me for someone who cares."
"Working in customer service is like being a therapist, except I don't get a degree!"
"I'm not a miracle worker, but I can push a few buttons."
"Another day, another customer with a very unique perspective!"
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure..."
"If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."
"Please hold, while I pretend to care."
"If I had a dollar for every time a customer makes my day, I’d have just a dollar."
"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a customer."
"Why don’t you try asking in a different way? There’s always a chance my answer will change."
"The best part of customer service? The coffee break!"
"I’m here to help you — as long as it’s not too complicated."
"If I had a solution, I’d be rich in a different line of work!"
"I love my job only when I’m on vacation."
"I've got a great smile, but it doesn't come cheap."
"You want what? I think you have the wrong number!"
"Sometimes you have to take a break and laugh at how silly this job can get!"
"In my defense, I was left unsupervised."
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