110 result(s) for Sarcastic Quotes For Shirts.
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I don’t need your attitude, I have one of my own."
"My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat."
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"I’m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?"
"Take my advice — I'm not using it."
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"I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm sleeping."
"If I had a dollar for every smart thing I didn’t say... I’d be a millionaire."
"I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"I don’t have a bucket list, but my fuck-it list is a mile long."
"Your secrets are safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them."
"I didn't choose the sarcasm life; the sarcasm life chose me."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions."
"I’m like a butterfly; pretty to see, hard to catch."
"If I had a penny for every time I had no idea what was going on, I’d be rich."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room."
"I’m not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I’m not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
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"Not all who wander are lost; some are just looking for coffee."
"I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"If you think I’m crazy, you should see my mother."
"I’m just here to make friends... said no one ever."
"Sarcasm: because beating the hell out of people is illegal."
"Sure, I’ll help you out the door. Just let me know when you want to leave."
"Common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it the most never use it."
"My life feels like a test I didn’t study for."
"I don't need glasses; I just see the world differently."
"I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping."
"You look like a hot mess. Good thing I'm here with fire extinguisher."
"There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. Only a fraction of people will get this."
"My phone battery lasts longer than most friendships."
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"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me to the beach."
"If your mind is like a steel trap, it's rusty and full of holes."
"I don’t want to adult today."
"I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either."
"My brain has too many tabs open."
"I’m not completely useless. I can always be a bad example."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart."
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastination."
"I’m not short, I’m concentrated awesome."
"I don’t have a bad handwriting; I have my own font."
"You’re never fully dressed without a smile, but I’ll take sarcasm."
"I’m like a butterfly. Pretty to see, but hard to catch."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"Sometimes I wonder if I’m a little too sarcastic. Then I remember I don’t care."
"I didn’t choose the sarcastic life; the sarcastic life chose me."
"Sarcasm: because beating the crap out of people is illegal."
"I don’t always sarcastic, sometimes I’m sleeping."
"An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough."
"I’m not a morning person. I’m a coffee person."
"Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things."
"Sarcasm: my default setting."
"I don’t need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off."
"I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you."
"I’m just here to collect my award for being awesome."
"Sarcasm is my second language."
"I put the pro in procrastinate."
"Sure, I’ll help you out the door."
"If I was any more laid-back, I’d be in a coma."
"My patience is limited but my sarcasm is endless."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"I can’t adult today, please don’t make me."
"My life is a constant battle between my need for attention and my aversion to being in the spotlight."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I’m not bossy; I just have better ideas."
"I don’t need your attitude; I have my own."
"I used to care, but I take a pill for that now."
"I’m not short; I’m concentrated awesome."
"I have a personality you can’t handle."
"I’m not weird, I’m just limited edition."
"I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"I don't do 'fake' very well."
"I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"You can't make everybody happy; you're not a taco."
"I have a great sense of humor, but I’m not going to share it with you."
"You look like a reason to drink."
"I'm multitasking: I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode."
"I’m not really a people person. I’m more of a ‘go away’ person."
"If I wanted to kill myself, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ."
"The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth."
"I don’t need Google. My wife knows everything."
"I put the ‘pro’ in procrastinate."
"I’m not short, I’m fun-sized."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
"Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver."
"I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"I can totally keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t."
"I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it."
"I would explain it to you, but I left my English-to-Dingbat dictionary at home."
"Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?"
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not a procrastinator; I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things."
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work; the alphabet has 25 more letters."
"I’m trying to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I didn’t choose the thug life; the thug life chose me."
"I’m not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
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