108 result(s) for Goofy Quotes.
"I'm on the patch to goofiness, and heaven knows it will be a long one."
"Just because you're not in a funny movie doesn't mean you can't be funny."
"I’m too old to be young, but still too young to be old."
"The only thing better than a friend is a friend with a goofy hat."
"If you're going to be goofy, at least be spectacularly goofy."
"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"
"I may be a little goofy, but I'm never boring."
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"I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people."
"You can't be sad when you look at a penguin."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it."
"I don't suffer from insanity—I enjoy every minute of it!"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I could tell you a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy."
"Why do we tell actors to 'break a leg?' Because every play has a cast."
"I just can’t help but be goofy – it’s my only defense mechanism."
"You can’t drown a fish."
"I've got a great ambition to die of exhaustion rather than boredom."
"Being silly is a lot more fun than being serious."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
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"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode."
"I finally got around to reading 'The Book of Age.' Now I'm too old to read it."
"I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"I’m so glad we had that time together just to laugh and sing a song."
"If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"I can't believe I spent my whole life not knowing how to cook a turkey."
"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems."
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"If at first you don’t succeed, blame it on your computer."
"I was going to take over the world, but I overslept."
"My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"Why do they put a round pizza in a square box?"
"I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke."
"I can’t believe I said that. I can’t believe I even thought it!"
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"If you're going to be late, be fashionably late."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"I didn’t fall; I’m just spending some quality time with the floor."
"I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough."
"I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work."
"The only thing standing between me and my goal is the reality of my current situation."
"The only reason I would run a marathon is if I was being chased."
"A clean house is a sign of a broken computer."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to experience it as much as possible."
"I haven’t been this excited since I saw a bowl of oatmeal."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised."
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it."
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!"
"I'm not sure how I feel about elevators. They make me feel up and down."
"I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying."
"I'm not arguing. I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure."
"I'm so glad we had this time together just to have a laugh or sing a song."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I can't believe I said that. It's often, so don't dwell on it."
"I told my wife the truth. I said I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until next week."
"The only thing standing between me and my goals is the ridiculous story I keep telling myself as to why I can't achieve it."
"A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory."
"You can't be wise and in love at the same time."
"I am not lazy. I am on energy-saving mode."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"You can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs, but where I come from, we'd prefer scrambled."
"The rise of technology may be good for humanity, but it’s absolutely terrible for brunch plans."
"If I had a dollar for every time I had a dollar… I would have one dollar."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"My neighbor has a 10-foot tall inflatable dinosaur for Christmas. I guess it’s a Jurassic Christmas."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"
"I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode."
"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!"
"I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it."
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"If we aren't supposed to eat midnight snacks, why is there even a light in the fridge?"
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I have a new theory that is totally out of tune with reality; it’s called my life."
"I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s still not flying."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"I didn’t fall, I’m just spending some quality time with the floor."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I would like to die on Mars; just not on impact."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
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