129 result(s) for Funny Quotes About Leaving A Job.
"I thought I would feel more mature when I left my job, but I just felt more like a child who didn't want to go to school."
"I’m going to leave my job in the most dramatic way possible: by not leaving at all and just pretending I’m working."
"You know you’re in trouble when your boss says 'I can’t imagine this office without you' and you think, 'I can.'"
"I told my boss that I needed a raise because three companies were after me. He said, 'Which ones?' I replied, 'The gas, electric, and water companies.'"
"I quit my job at the orange juice factory because I couldn’t concentrate."
"It's hard to leave a job when you can't wait to start one and you can't wait to leave that one too."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
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"I didn't quit my job; I just decided to prioritize my happiness over my paycheck."
"My boss is like a software update. Whenever I see him, I think: 'Not now.'"
"Don’t worry if plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters."
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right. Oh, and I quit."
"The day I left, my boss said, 'Can I have your keys?' And I said, 'Sure, just don’t stop me from using the bathroom first!'"
"I decided to leave my job as a massage therapist. I just couldn't handle the pressure."
"I’d like to quit my job as a banker; I keep losing interest!"
"My job is secure. No one wants it."
"I told my boss I needed to leave early because I was too stressed. He said, 'Just like the job.'"
"At my last job, they told me I’d never amount to anything. That’s why I quit: They were right!"
"The only thing worse than working after a break is breaking into the work!"
"I realized I was working too hard when the only ‘LinkedIn’ I knew was how many links I had in my chain."
"Why are there not more successful horror movies about people quitting their jobs?"
"I decided to leave my job at the vacuum cleaner factory. It sucked."
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"Sometimes you have to quit your job and pursue your dreams, like sleeping on the couch all day."
"I just want to be someone’s reason to quit their job."
"Work harder, not smarter. Or just quit your job."
"I quit because I couldn’t tolerate my job environment. You know, like being in a cave with bats: dark and wingy."
"When I quit my job at the calendar factory, I took a day off."
"I’m going to leave my job as a banker. I just can’t count on it anymore."
"I always give 100% at work. I might even give 110% if I’m really not feeling it."
"The only time I feel like I'm in a job from a sitcom is when I walk out the door on my last day."
"What’s a good way to get out of a job you hate? Just write your resignation letter in crayon."
"When I left my job, I told them I was leaving to become a unicorn hunter. They wished me luck."
"I told my boss I was leaving to pursue my dream of being a professional napper. He still hasn't called me back."
"I'm not leaving my job; I'm just giving the job back to the universe."
"Of course I have a job. I just don't know how to quit a job I don’t actually have!"
"I’ve decided to leave my job as a librarian. I just can’t handle going to work in silence anymore."
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"I quit my job as a personal trainer because I didn't like people running away from me."
"Every time I quit my job, I end up regretting it—until the next day when I wake up and realize I don’t have to go back!"
"I’m leaving my job as a baker. The bread kept loafing around!"
"If you want me to do something without you asking me, just tell me that I can’t do it."
"Why did I leave my job as a piano maker? Too many flat notes!"
"I didn't really leave my job; I just decided to break up with it nicely."
"I told my boss I needed a raise or I would quit. I’ll tell him that next year, too!"
"I quit my job as a procrastinator because I didn’t feel like doing it anymore."
"I just left my job at the orange juice factory and now I need to concentrate on other things."
"I told my boss I was going to work remotely. He asked if I could still work from my couch."
"Every time I quit my job, it’s like a clean slate. But I quickly realize it’s more of a mess!"
"I'm resigning to work on my own personal problems. Shouldn’t we all?"
"When I left my job at the calendar factory, it was about time."
"I resigned from my job as a radio host because I just couldn’t find the right frequency anymore."
"I'm not quitting my job; I’m just taking an extended sabbatical from reality."
"I’m leaving to find myself—usually within the couch cushions."
"I am leaving because the district is not ready for a girl like me."
"I quit my job at the helium factory. I just couldn't keep talking about it."
"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"
"I told my boss that three companies were after me and I needed a raise. We laughed, I laughed, he laughed, but I guess I should have left that at the office."
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
"There's a fine line between a steady job and a job with no life."
"I think I’ve invented a new type of extreme sport, ‘Unemployment’!"
"I’d like to imagine that people in the future will look back on me and say, 'Wow, he really showed them how to be mediocre!'"
"You don’t have to be crazy to work here. We’ll train you."
"This is the beginning of phase two of my life. It better involve ice cream."
"The only thing I take seriously is my coffee break."
"I just wanted to let you know that I am leaving my job to pursue a career as a ‘professional napper.’"
"It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."
"I leave you all with this: When you're out of work, life can be a grind. But it’s also a vacation from work."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"My boss said to have a good day. So I went home."
"I've learned that sometimes life is about the journey, not the job."
"Just because you can’t find a job doesn’t mean you’re not qualified; it just means you might need to find a new job."
"I feel like I've just defeated the final boss in my job."
"The only reason I work is to pay for my long weekends."
"I can’t save you from your job, but I can offer you some chocolate."
"When one door closes, another door opens – or you can just open the closed door"
"I finally quit my job today. I’m so happy, I might just bring my coffee to bed tomorrow!"
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"Every exit is an entry somewhere else."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. So take that leap!"
"When you feel a little bit lost, remember that sometimes being not found at work is a good thing!"
"I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke."
"I am now free to be petty and irresponsible."
"My boss told me to have a good day... so I left."
"The only thing I throw back at work is my coffee."
"I quit my job at the calendar factory because I took a day off."
"I just got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough."
"Congratulations on your new job! You know, the world is pretty much your oyster, but the pearl is missing because you left it at your old job."
"I told my boss I needed a raise. He told me just to get a job and I could make as much money as I wanted."
"A company is like a car. It won’t get you anywhere if you don’t put gas in it. Good luck with your new fuel!"
"It's not about how much money you make; it's about how much you don't miss your old job."
"I finally quit my job to pursue the life of a pirate. I always wanted to be captain of my own ship, but it turns out that’s just a catamaran named ‘Freedom’."
"Fired is when you’ve been chased out of the office; quitting is when you walk out and never look back… unless you forgot your stapler."
"Why did I leave my job? I wanted to catch up with my goals. Turns out they were running marathons without me."
"I quit my job as a banker because I lost interest."
"As soon as I quit, I felt lighter, like a balloon that was finally released – until it rained."
"I quit my job as a corporate lawyer to finally pursue my gaming career. The only lawsuit I want to deal with is in Monopoly."
"You know it’s time to leave a job when even the coffee machine is starting to look like your enemy."
"Quitting time is my favorite time of the day."
"Goodbye tension, hello pension!"
"I quit my job at the orange juice factory because I couldn't concentrate."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I prefer the cheese to a 9-5!"
"I finally saved enough money to quit my job and totally don’t know what to do next. Welcome to adulting!"
"If you see me around with a smile, it’s because I’m free of work. If you see me around without a smile, it’s because I’m free of work but broke!"
"It’s called ‘taking a break’ when you quit your job and sit at home in your pajamas."
"I quit my job as a teacher to become a freelance pirate. Apparently, ‘arg’ is not a recognized skill."
"I decided to leave my job and become a motivational speaker. My theme? ‘The Art of Not Giving a Damn’!"
"I've quit more jobs than I remember. But the best one was the day I resigned from being miserable."
"I always give my 100%...except when I'm giving my two weeks' notice."
"I finally quit my job as a personal trainer, I just didn’t feel fit for it."
"I’m not saying I’m quitting my job, but I’m thinking of switching to a career that pays me to nap."
"Going out for a smoke is just code for 'I’m quitting my job'."
"I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I just couldn’t speak to anyone anymore."
"I told my boss I was going to quit my job as a banker. He said, 'You can’t just leave a job like that, you have to withdraw first!'"
"When I quit my job as a banker, I took all my money with me. They were shocked, how could I have that much cash?"
"I just quit my job at the orange juice factory. I couldn't concentrate!"
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. Time to quit!"
"I didn't quit my job, I just decided to go for a 'long lunch'...permanently."
"I quit my job as a comedian. I couldn’t find the punchline."
"They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye every time I quit a job!"
"I thought about quitting my job at the calendar factory, but I couldn’t find the right date."
"I quit my job when they started treating me like a pizza – I was tired of being a delivery!"
"After I quit my job at the coffee shop, I realized I just wasn't that into espresso."
"My boss told me to have a good day... so I went home!"
"I'm leaving my job as a dustbin man. It just feels like I'm going nowhere!"
"I thought about quitting my job getting people to pay me to wear silly hats...until I realized I was a financial analyst."
"I quit my job at the bakery because I couldn't make enough dough!"
"I quit my job at the lighting factory. It just wasn't bright enough!"
"I’m thinking about quitting my job as an elevator repairman. I just can't lift anyone's spirits anymore!"
"I quit my job at the gym. It was just too much of a workout!"
"I’m planning to leave my job as a weatherman. I just can’t make it rain money anymore!"
"When I quit my job as a translator, my boss said, 'Lost in translation?' I replied, 'Yeah, that's exactly how I feel!'"
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