25 result(s) for Funny No Water, Can’t Shower Quotes.
"Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes."
"There is no water in the bathroom sink. So I proceed to brush my teeth using Coca-Cola."
"I hate when I lose my phone in the shower because then I can't change the song."
"I wonder if туалетная вода translates into 'toilet water'. And if it does, what does that say about French people’s hygiene?"
"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
"My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel great."
"I'm sure wherever my Dad is, he's looking down on us. He's not dead, just very condescending."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I like my money right where I can see it: hanging in my closet."
"If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"The early bird can have the worm, because worms are gross and also, I sleep in."
"The only way to have a good day is to start it with a smile. Unless you prefer coffee. Then that's fine too."
"I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode."
"Hangovers are just a ghost of a good time."
"I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me - I'll laugh at you."
"I always tell my kids, 'I don't care what you major in. Just don't pick philosophy, because you can't find a job with that.' Of course, I majored in philosophy, and here I am making a living. The irony!"
"The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades."
"I work to support my shopping habit."
"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
"I dress to impress myself. That's why I'm always in pajamas."
Can't find the quotes you're looking for?
"I’m not sure what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendships."
"I've got 99 problems and 86 of them are completely made up scenarios in my head that I'm stressing about for absolutely no reason."
"I don't have gray hair, I have 'wisdom highlights'."
"A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand."
