127 result(s) for Funny NFL Quotes.
"If you don’t pay your exorcist, do you have to pay rent in hell?"
"I guess I’m going to retire from retirement."
"The only thing I have in common with my teammates is we’re all on the same team."
"You can't get much done in life if you only work on the days you feel good."
"I've been in the league for seven years and I don't know anyone better at saying nothing than I am."
"They say the best way to get over your team losing is to not get too attached in the first place."
"I’m not a player... I’m a coach."
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"I always thought that I would be a coach. I just didn’t know what kind. And I still don’t, obviously."
"It’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get up, while making sure to stretch first."
"I don’t think they’re going to throw me out. I’m still the life of the party, baby."
"The only thing that matters is to win. And if you don’t want to win, then don’t bother to show up."
"All I know is, I had a bullet in my leg... But I still had a lot of fun."
"I think the best way to look at this is to tell you that we have to win, and you can’t win without me."
"I may not always be right, but I’m always the coach."
"You know, some people think I’m lucky, but I’m just smart. There’s a difference!"
"When you're in the game, when you're in the heat of the battle, you can't think about those things. You'll choke."
"If we lose this game, I’m going to blame it on the referees. Almost always do."
"There’s a fine line between a rut and a grave."
"Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid."
"The game is this: You’re either on a team or you’re not."
"If you want to impress someone, tell them you’re a football coach."
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"I just want to play football, man. Am I too old to still want to play football?"
"I'll never forget my first game; I was so excited that I forgot to wear my jersey!"
"There’s a lot of pressure in this game, so laugh it off while you can."
"Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday’s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That’s the way life is, with a football game."
"The only time I set the bar low is for Christmas and my birthdays."
"I told my wife the truth. I said, 'I’m going to Barcelona. I’m going to put my money where my mouth is. I’m going to take my family to the beach.' And she said, 'You know, you’re not going to Spain. It’s a little late for that.'"
"I can't tell you how many times I've been hit in the head. I do know I took a shot in the face during the game, but hey, I've always been good with my face."
"The difference between a successful athlete and a mediocre one is that the successful one plays for the love of the game."
"If you’re going to be a bear, be a grizzly."
"I don't want to take my time with this. I want to hurt people right away."
"We’re going to be good this year. I mean, we’re going to be really good. I’m not going to say we’re going to win the Super Bowl or anything, but…"
"I've got no regret about the things I've done in my life. I try to make my life the best I can every day."
"I take full responsibility. I will never take the easy way out."
"I’m not a huge fan of the game. I’m not a big fan of any sport. What I’m a fan of is winning."
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"Happiness is a warm puppy."
"I’m a big believer in the power of positive thinking, but I also believe in a good kick in the pants when it's needed."
"If a player is not physically capable of finishing the game, then you have to make a decision."
"You can't make the club in the tub."
"I went to college and I learned a lot. Life’s a big classroom."
"The only thing I'm running for is the Hall of Fame."
"Every time I get a chance, I enjoy playing in the snow. That’s what I can say about the weather."
"If you aren't going to come to practice, then you might as well stay home."
"Let’s go out and kick some butt!"
"You can't spell 'victory' without 'I'!"
"Nobody in the NFL had worse footwork than me."
"Life is like a game of football. It all depends on how you handle the ball."
"Winning is what it's all about. Even if you don't kick the ball, you can still win."
"I think I’m an average quarterback, though I cook better than I throw."
"I've been around the block more than once and I still get to drive it."
"I'd like to have a little fun and be serious, and they just won't let me."
"I told my wife the truth. I said, 'I’m a football addict.' She told me the truth, too. She said, 'I’ll leave you if you don’t stop.'"
"A team is like a ship; you must stock it with some pretty dangerous people."
"You can't win the game if you don't play the game. And you can't play the game if you don't show up."
"I've worked so hard on trusting my instincts, and instinct ultimately is a coward."
"If you don't like me, you don't like me. If you do, you do. It won't change how I play the game!"
"I'm a little bit of everything in one package. Kind of like a football player."
"Every time I get a touchdown I like to think it was for not only my family but for every little kid out there who dreams of doing this one day."
"It's a game of inches, and I'm three inches away from being a millionaire."
"The only thing I know about Chicago is that I can't take a bath when it rains."
"To me, being in the NFL is like being in a horror movie. There’s always a fright that’s around the corner."
"I can’t believe I’m not the best-looking guy out there. I’m the best-looking football player out there!"
"Playing for the Patriots is like being in a really long fight with your family."
"There’s a fine line between a nightmare and a dream. And that line is called the NFL playoffs."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."
"Life is too short to have boring hair. That’s why I let my hair do the talking during the NFL Draft."
"The NFL stands for 'Not For Long'—unless you're me!"
"I’m not saying I’m the best, but if there was a Hall of Fame for punters, I’d get in just for looking good on the field."
"I like to leave my mark on the field, and that mark is usually the turf."
"Every fall I play in a game that is bigger than the last one. It’s called my backyard."
"It’s not about how you play the game, it’s about making sure you have someone to play it with."
"I’m just a kid who’s been playing in the NFL for too long. Kind of like a kid with an oversized jersey."
"I think football is in my DNA. I mean, my parents met at a football game, so there’s that!"
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, someone else will laugh at you."
"The only time to be positive is when you’re positive your team is going to lose."
"I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game."
"I've never met a man I couldn't bait with a little money."
"The NFL is a league of parity. It's like a salad, you can never tell the good lettuce from the bad lettuce."
"I can't tell you if this is going to be a good game or not, but I can tell you that we're going to try hard."
"You know, if it weren't for the fans, we wouldn't be doing this."
"I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender."
"When you start messing with things, you’re going to get hurt."
"We're going to win more than we lose. At least that's my intention."
"I was very surprised to see that the NFL allowed the Dallas Cowboys to host the Super Bowl. I didn't think they were in a position to win."
"I get a kick out of watching the games, as if it's the last game I'll ever watch."
"The fans deserve to get what they expect, but we have to be careful what we give them."
"You can't stop a guy who is determined, but you can slow him down."
"Every time I go out there, I am playing to win and playing to have fun."
"We’re not trying to overthrow the game of football. We’re trying to grow it."
"I have a great coach. He’s got a great plan for us. I don’t know if I can say any more than that."
"You know the difference between a good player and a great player? A good player performs well on game day. A great player performs well when it’s not game day."
"When you're in a room and there's a new guy, you always have an urge to form a bond."
"I think the best defense is a good offense, and I think the best offense is a good defense."
"You can't play for the name on the back of your jersey. You must play for the name on the front."
"If you don’t have a game plan, you’re going to fail."
"A football game is simply a test of your ability to stay focused."
"The only way to make a game exciting is to create uncertainty."
"You can never underestimate the heart of a champion."
"A lot of people have great ideas, but it’s only great if it gets done."
"I may be a man of few words, but I believe it’s my actions that speak louder."
"I can't tell you how much I love this game. I really can't. I can tell you how much I love my bank account, but I can't tell you how much I love the game."
"The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron."
"If you don't believe you've got it made, you never will have it made."
"I think it’s a good idea to go see all the best players and the best teams, and then come back and just talk about two teams, two players."
"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction."
"You know what they say: the more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake."
"I’ve always said that you need three things in a football player: speed, agility, and a big mouth."
"I’m just a guy who believes in telling the truth."
"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six."
"I got a sore toe. I don’t know why they’d put that on the injury report."
"The only thing I’m good at is being a good football player."
"I’m not going to say we’re going to win every game, but we do plan to win every game."
"I think the NFL is going to be a blast. I think it’s going to be fun, and I think we can really do something special."
"The only way to be successful is to have fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re not going to be successful."
"If you want to work on your art, work on your life."
"Football is a game of confidence and how you build that confidence is through preparation."
"I don't care how cool the coach is, I still have to get up early."
"If you’re not sure what to do, just run away from the guy with the ball."
"I would never expect a coach to be anything less than what they are – as a person and a professional."
"I don't even know what a play is. I just go out there and do my thing."
"If you're lucky enough to be in a job that you love, then you've won."
"You always want to have integrity, and you always want to keep your promises."
"This is a great game, and you should enjoy it. It's more fun when you're enjoying it."
"I think I’m going to be a little mad if we don’t win."
"I want to be remembered as a champion."
"I always said that if I wanted to talk to a teammate, I would just use the phone."
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