120 result(s) for Bob Saget Quotes.
"You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do."
"I can never understand why my credit card bill keeps getting bigger every month. The number is just staying the same."
"People who Snapchat while driving are not good at driving or snapping."
"Sometimes I wish I could unsend text messages... and salads."
"I've reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn't say that' to 'What the heck, let's see what happens'."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today, it's already tomorrow in Australia."
"I love having kids. There's nothing like a little meatloaf crying in your arms to remind you of how beautiful life is."
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"My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that's what she said."
"If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream."
"Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."
"I'm at that age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet."
"If life gives you lemons, just shut up and eat your damn lemons."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is definitely not for you."
"My ability to stay calm while putting on a duvet cover should be listed as a special skill on my resume."
"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person... or at least someone who looks vaguely similar."
"I always keep my standards low. That way, anything good that happens feels like a huge accomplishment."
"Caffeine is the foundation of my food pyramid."
"There's nothing more awkward than incorrectly thinking someone is pregnant, except maybe mistakenly thinking someone is a decent human being."
"Every time I get dressed up for an event, I feel like a penguin in a tuxedo, ready to go to prom."
"I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm pretty good at being the Duct Tape of the toolbox."
"My comedy comes from a place of profound respect and love for people's ability to cope with life."
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"I did stand-up comedy for 11 years before 'Full House,' and I wondered if I'd ever be well known."
"I'm much more proud of being a father than being an actor."
"For every laugh, there should be a tear."
"I'm just trying to make sense of things. And I'm a pretty decent guy, generally speaking."
"I remember watching Paul Simon play an acoustic guitar on 'Saturday Night Live' in the 70s and the thing was just beautiful."
"Stand-up comedy is its own beast, honey."
"I dated this girl for two years - and she left me and she took half of everything I loved. It was like, 'Wow, I really loved that half of everything I own.'"
"Stand-up and acting have always been what I wanted to do."
"I believe in people and what made them. And people that make a joke out of everything."
"I feel honored to have been a part of 'Full House.' It's an iconic show that had a huge impact."
"I often find that my favorite comedy films are the ones that aren't awesome. There are a few comedy movies that can touch on your emotions without being theatrical."
"I think that by trying too hard to look pretty, you end up looking kind of silly."
"You can make anything that's funny really pop and disappear like a balloon."
"You know, I've been a lot of MTV shows over the past few years - Catfish, the Osbournes... wait a minute... that's it. That's a wrap."
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"People want me to take a photo of me flipping off the camera and caption it with some stupid joke. Sorry, that's not how I roll."
"Even as a kid, when I was funny, I was not as funny as I am now."
"Nothing that I ever felt was correct came out of a scene that could be shot and put in front of me."
"I always expect things to fail. I always look at life as a glass half-empty."
"I'm only honest when I'm kidding."
"I'm Bob Saget, and I'm in this weird position where I have done a lot of things, but in the public eye, it's not acknowledged."
"If I'm gonna say the F-word, I just feel I need to say it 12 times in 30 seconds. Or I shouldn't say it."
"I always try to make people laugh. I feel better when they do."
"I'm so well-loved in my head."
"We all go through life and it's beautiful... and it's extraordinarily painful."
"Comedy itself is just truth, and the truth can hurt."
"The things I'm most passionate about in life are comedy, music, and learning."
"Dad – you're my hero."
"I like adult comedies a lot; they're my favorite kind of movie."
"I don't stifle my talent by stress. But I'm a walking ball of stress."
"I'm a hoper. I have lots of faith."
"I see life as a learning process, and life is also beautiful."
"Comedy is a way to deal with pain. My humor is based on my pain."
"I think a lot of people stereotype me as a real uptight, square guy. I think they're genuinely surprised to find out that I'm not as uptight as they thought I was."
"There may be times when my humor isn't for some people. I think no matter what, humor has some kind of a reflection in people's lives."
"I’m a storyteller, and I’m always looking for material."
"I'm a hopeful person that I will keep getting work. I'm a work horse."
"I look at life from a darker perspective than most people. A lot of things make me sad. But that's part of who I am, and I just keep moving on."
"I can't stress enough, it's all about emotional content."
"I'm always joking. I don’t always show it but I'm always telling a joke in my head."
"I'm like a Rorschach test, you know? The thought of me makes different people feel good about themselves."
"Going to a comedy club for me is better than any therapist, because I talk into a microphone about my life and the things I've been through. It's therapeutic for me."
"I don't know what it is, but I check Twitter a lot. It's like it's the new cigarette. It's how you take a break."
"There's something really cool about voiceover. You're creating something out of nothing."
"I've probably spent more time in an edit bay than anyplace that I know."
"It's really hard to turn on your TV and not see me. I'm like electricity."
"I've always seen things kind of upside down. I often thought in drama, things are funny. I thought comedy was serious."
"The thing about reality TV is that people know so much about you and they figured out you can't hide much anymore."
"Happiness is a feeling of creative achievement and appreciation at the same time."
"Life is an emotional candy store. So we can't limit ourselves to only this or that feeling."
"Being kind is something I learned from my Mamma. That's a Southern trait and my mother was from Mississippi."
"I think everybody knows I love doing documentary work, as well as features, as well as being on stage. I love being an actor."
"When you're doing a sitcom, you're usually getting feedback from the audience, the writers, and the producers. It's that collaboration that is truly inspiring."
"I love stand-up. That's how I started out, more than anything else, is as a comic."
"You can never judge somebody. You never know what's going on with somebody at any given time."
"I think you learn more from your mistakes than your success. If you didn't make mistakes, you wouldn't get smarter."
"If you believe that life isn't fair, you'll probably find that comment will apply to almost everything that happens."
"Destiny isn't something you make, it's something you make happen."
"You can't learn a thing if it's not there."
"You're never looking for perfection, but you are looking for authenticity."
"When in doubt, go for the dick joke."
"I am the dirtiest, clean comic you will ever know."
"Comedy comes from a place of hurt. Charlie Chaplin was a genius because he made people laugh even though he was a very sad man."
"I've always been kind of dark."
"I've played gay, I've played a hooker, I've played a lot of things."
"I love stupid humor. I am jerky and it's kind of hard for me."
"I love what I do. I take great pride in what I do. And I can't do something halfway, three-quarters, nine-tenths. If I'm going to do something, I go all the way."
"I am a lucky man. I am living my dream."
"I have 90-year-old fans."
"I'm busier than a one-armed monkey with two peckers."
"I'm on a cleaning diet. I only eat when I clean."
"Laughter heals all wounds, and that's one thing that everybody shares. No matter what you're going through, it makes you forget about your problems. I think the world should keep laughing."
"Sometimes people present themselves with shine, real charisma, a twinkle in the eye. They realize what they have is a gift, and they respect it."
"So much happens for me from 'Full House.' It doesn't mean I'm not a proud person or not a humanitarian. I think its doing just the opposite."
"Stand-up and acting are alchemy. I'll never shy away from that."
"I was watching Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor and somehow, I wanted to be dirty from a clean side."
"What's funny is funny. I dare anybody to look at Tim Conway and Harvey Korman doing a sketch and not laugh."
"I have found the Partridge Family being one of them, but the other one I have is a circus faith."
"I don't think I've ever done anything for this age bracket. Whenever I perform, I've tried to keep the material as clean as possible."
"Sometimes I come off really nice and I can be pretty tough. I'm tough on myself. I love excellence."
"Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still."
"My stand-up is a reflection of where I am at that point in my life. I'm always drawing from experience."
"If you're passionate about something, then it will definitely work out for you."
"Comedy equals tragedy plus time."
"My comedy has always been very character-driven. The most important thing to me has always been using the character to tell the joke."
"Laughter is the best medicine unless you're diabetic; then insulin comes pretty high on the list."
"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."
"It's important to make people laugh. It brings joy to the world and makes people happy."
"My dad used to tell me... 'Bob, you can make something of yourself!' As you know, that's my name."
"I've done a lot of things you can't do in sitcoms, like talk about farts."
"In comedy, you have to be unafraid to hang from a tree branch naked in the high wind and you have to be absolutely unafraid to look ridiculous."
"I'm not opposed to doing Full House again. It was a great show."
"My comedy comes from a darker place than yours does."
"The secret of my success is arriving at the club fifteen minutes later than everyone else."
"It's a blessed thing to love and feel loved in return."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can't laugh at yourself, call me and I will do it for you!"
"Do what you do. This Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, be good to your friends, your family. If you don’t have family, you can rent one."
"If they ask me, I could write a book about my life. I mean, it would be amazing."
"My routines come from total unhappiness. My cynicism is a form of anger."
"Don't even kid yourself, comedy can be a very dangerous profession."
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