25 result(s) for Sarcastic Tip Jar Quotes.
"I try to contain my excitement, but I leak enthusiasm."
"Sarcasm: because beating people is illegal."
"I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm sleeping."
"I'm not sure what's tighter, our jeans or our budget."
"We're not arguing, we're just explaining why we're right."
"I survived another meeting that should have been an email."
"My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right."
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"I'm not ignoring you, I'm prioritizing my inner peace."
"Sure, I'll help you. First, let me Google it for you."
"I'm an acquired taste. If you don't like me, acquire some taste."
"Acting is just lying for a living."
"I am an early riser... but only on days I have to be."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by."
"The road to success is always under construction."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised."
"If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else."
"It's not the hours you put in, but what you put in the hours."
"I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm, and that three or more become a Congress."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will try to put things in it."
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"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it."
"A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. If I'd followed his advice, I'd have nothing today."
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
