25 result(s) for Funny Dad And Baby Quotes.
"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up."
"When I tell you I love you, I don't say it out of habit or to make conversation. I say it to remind you that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."
"My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic."
"I thought I'd be a cool dad. Then I had kids."
"The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children."
"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now, I have six children and no theories."
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it."
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"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
"People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one."
"Having a child is like getting a tattoo...on your face. You better be committed."
"I used to have functioning brain cells, but I traded them in for a toddler."
"The joys of parenthood are only equaled by the frustrations."
"Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch."
"I never knew how much love my heart could hold until someone called me Daddy."
"Parenthood: the scariest hood you'll ever go through."
"There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep'."
"I have mixed emotions when I see my kid shrug instead of hug me. Partly because it's annoying, but mostly because that's a very cool move."
"When your baby is crying, always pick them up and cuddle them. After all, you are the only one who knows what their dreams are made of."
"Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows."
"It's amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the dishwasher."
"I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I would rather go to war."
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"You don't really understand leverage until someone tries to lift something heavy with your car keys."
"The older I get, the smarter my father seems to become."
"My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."
"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong."
