121 result(s) for Hilarious Inspirational Quotes.
"If I cannot do great things, I can do small things in a great way."
"I find television to be very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go in the other room and read a book."
"When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye."
"The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache."
"I have a lot of growing up to do. I realized that the other day inside my fort."
"I eat cake because it's somebody's birthday somewhere."
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia."
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"If at first you don’t succeed, then parachuting is definitely not for you."
"Think like a proton—always positive."
"A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."
"I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak."
"I'm in shape. Round is a shape."
"I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in the way."
"If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?"
"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
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"We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know."
"There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
"I am an optimistic realist. I am a humorous quitter."
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
"Some people dream of success, while others wake up and work hard at it."
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"I conquer the world with my smile."
"Opportunities don't happen, you create them."
"Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life."
"The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary."
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"I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have."
"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing. That's why we recommend it daily."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great."
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is."
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do."
"I never dream of success. I worked for it."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."
"You can't go wrong with laughter - it's a great way to start the day!"
"Believe in yourself, even when your socks don't match. You're still fabulous!"
"Life is better when you're laughing and chocolate is involved."
"Dance like no one is watching, and if they are, start doing the Macarena."
"When life gives you lemons, make sure to throw a few at people you love - it's therapeutic!"
"I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living."
"Don't be afraid to be the full package - bubble wrap is awesome and so are you!"
"If you stumble, make it part of the dance - and add some jazz hands!"
"Smile at strangers, you never know who could use a good laugh or a restraining order."
"Live, laugh, love... and eat pizza - because why not?"
"I may be a joker, but I'm not fooling around when I say you deserve happiness!"
"Dress like you're already famous... you never know when the paparazzi might show up!"
"Challenges are what make life interesting, so get ready to paint your way through a messy masterpiece!"
"Laughter is the sound track of life, so turn up the volume and hit repeat!"
"Age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying your hilarious presence!"
"Keep your heels, head, and standards high... and your jokes even higher!"
"Don't cry because it's over, laugh because your boss slipped on a banana peel."
"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth - and a sense of humor!"
"Everyone is a star, and you, my friend, are the comedy central of the galaxy!"
"You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire wave of laughter!"
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up - bonus points if it involves a whoopee cushion!"
"Happiness is not by chance, but by choice - choose to be the stand-up comedian of your own life!"
"Find joy in the ordinary, like finding a French fry at the bottom of your bag... or your lost dignity."
"If at first you don't succeed, laugh until milk comes out of your nose... then try again!"
"Surround yourself with those who make you laugh - it's cheaper than therapy!"
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. And if that fails, just pretend to be Beyoncé."
"When life gives you lemons, make sure they are limes 'cause who wants sour lemons?"
"Believe you can and you're halfway there; the other half involves coffee and chocolate."
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because you survived Monday."
"Dream big, work hard, stay focused, and surround yourself with pizza."
"Success is not the key to happiness. Pizza is the key to happiness."
"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans... and scrolling through cat videos."
"The only way to do great work is to love what you do. Or marry rich."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on... with a side of sarcasm."
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second-best time is now... or whenever Amazon delivers."
"Happiness is an inside job. But chocolate can definitely help."
"If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. Or just have a really good playlist."
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. So, why not aim for the pizza?"
"Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great. Like giving up veggies for cake."
"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it. And 0.1% is figuring out what to watch on Netflix."
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders. Definitely spiders."
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall... or in mastering the art of dad jokes."
"It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop... unless the WiFi is down."
"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do it with some passion, some humor, and a lot of coffee."
"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending... or at least add a funny twist."
"Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions... and a good dose of Netflix binging."
"The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing... after one more episode."
"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream... like learning how to breakdance."
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams... and have a secret stash of snacks."
"If you want to achieve greatness, stop asking for permission... and start asking for pizza."
"Life is short, smile while you still have teeth."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I'm on the whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party."
"Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it's a brighter day."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."
"I'm not shy, I'm holding back my awesomeness so I don't intimidate you."
"I'm great in bed. I can sleep for days."
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."
"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"Just keep swimming."
"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
"Follow your passion, stay true to yourself... never follow someone else's path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path. By all means, you should follow that."
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream."
"Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?"
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are 'I apologize' and 'You are right.'"
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
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