103 result(s) for Witty Quotes About Life.
"I always bring a book if I'm going somewhere I might be bored. Just in case."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I can't believe I just ate a whole pizza. So much for a balanced diet."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I'm on the patch right now for my donut addiction."
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"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"I've always been mad. I know I've been mad, like the most of us have. I’m mad, I’m mad, I've always been mad."
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"To err is human; to blame it on someone else is even more human."
"I feel like I'm going to die from a house fire. I have so many devices plugged in."
"If you don't like where you are, change it. You're not a tree."
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, honorable, and to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."
"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
"Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like."
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
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"The older I get, the more I realize that the ultimate luxury is time."
"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
"Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be."
"Life is a journey that must be traveled no matter how bad the roads and accommodations."
"Life is either a comedy or a tragedy. It all depends on how you look at it."
"The more I read, the more I acquire, the more certain I am that I know nothing."
"Don't count the days, make the days count."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get."
"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans."
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."
"I am sure of nothing but the holiness of the heart's affections, and the truth of the imagination."
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."
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"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
"I didn’t lose my mind; I found it."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
"I always feel like an outsider. I’m not into partying or drinking or drugs. I enjoy just sitting with a good book."
"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
"Life is a long lesson in humility."
"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
"When one door closes, another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the ones which have been opened for us."
"The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience."
"I can’t complain, but sometimes I still do."
"Life is a festival only to the wise."
"The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get to the office."
"It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
"We're all just stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me. I’ll laugh at you."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go."
"Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"If there's a will, there's a way. If there's no will, there's a holiday."
"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth!"
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"Life is too short for long-term grudges."
"In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on."
"I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"A diplomat is a man who thinks twice before saying nothing."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I am an early bird and a night owl... so I’m wise and I have worms."
"If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive."
"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here we might as well dance."
"The best things in life are free. The second best are very expensive."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I'm on the patch right now. It’s a boy with big plans and a guy with my excuses."
"Life is a joke that's not funny."
"I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you."
"Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans."
"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. If it gives you melons, you know you might be dyslexic."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, and I can't remember most of it."
"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying."
"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"I always give 100 percent at work: 13 percent on Monday, 23 percent on Tuesday, 40 percent on Wednesday, 20 percent on Thursday, and 4 percent on Friday."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments."
"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use."
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about."
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."
"Life is a series of choices. Some poor. Some good. All are lessons."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Life is like a camera: Focus on what’s important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot."
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake."
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