104 result(s) for Funny Inspirational Quotes About Life.
"The only thing standing between you and your goal is the story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it."
"Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else."
"I'm on the patch right now, and I'm looking for my belt. You know what they say: without your belt, you can't take a punch!"
"I think I have a good life. If not, I at least have a happy life. And I at least have a lot of friends. That's really all that matters. That's the most important thing."
"If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments."
"Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired."
"Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
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"You have to be odd to be number one."
"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you might be missing the joke of the century."
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."
"At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, and can't remember most of it."
"If you think you're too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
"I always thought that a suitcase was a sad way to carry your memories."
"The secret to happiness is low expectations."
"Life is a whirlwind of excitement; you may as well try and enjoy the ride!"
"I am an early bird and a night owl… so I’m wise and I have worms."
"Life is like toilet paper. You’re either on a roll or you’re taking shit from someone."
"The best things in life are actually really expensive!"
"Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else."
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"I don’t need it to be easy, I just need it to be worth it."
"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can."
"We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing."
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present."
"Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive."
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
"The only time I feel alive is when I'm in a dream."
"Life is too important to be taken seriously."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age."
"I always carry a little stone in my pocket, just to remind me that I always have a rock to rely on– even if it’s not that great of a rock."
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
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"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Life is like a sewer... what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
"Age is something that doesn’t matter, unless you are a cheese."
"The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so."
"Life is a complex matter, and if you can’t laugh at it then it isn’t worth living."
"The only time I don't like a kid is when he’s on my lawn."
"Don’t sweat the petty things; don’t pet the sweaty things."
"I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be the guy who gets to stay a kid."
"You can’t be sad when you’re holding a cupcake."
"In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on."
"A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory."
"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get."
"I don’t need therapy, I have a best friend who will listen to my rants and nod in agreement."
"The best things in life are actually really expensive."
"You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a taco."
"When nothing goes right, go left."
"Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use."
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"Don't worry if plan A doesn't work, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet."
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life gave them vodka and have a party."
"You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?"
"I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it."
"The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces."
"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."
"I didn't fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong."
"Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk."
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"The only time I set the bar low is for limbo."
"I can’t believe I said that. It was like my mouth had a mind of its own."
"Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it."
"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
"If you think you’re too small to be effective, you’ve never been in bed with a mosquito."
"Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow."
"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done."
"You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. But it helps."
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."
"We’re all mad here."
"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance."
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
"I can’t understand why I’m in a bad mood all the time. Probably because I’m from New Jersey."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
"If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you."
"The only time to be positive you won't come back is when you’re on your way out the door."
"Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive."
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving."
"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito."
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"Behind every great man, there is a woman rolling her eyes."
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
"If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"I’m on the patch right now – the ‘lots of work’ patch."
"Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans."
"If you're not having fun, you're doing it wrong."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure."
"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches."
"A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and it froze."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"If you think you are too important to be replaced, just try missing one meal."
"I always give 100% at work: 10% on Mondays, 20% on Tuesdays, 30% on Wednesdays, 40% on Thursdays, and 50% on Fridays!"
"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we’re here, we might as well dance."
"You don’t have to be crazy to be my friend. But it sure helps!"
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up."
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