125 result(s) for Funny Horse Quotes.
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink."
"If I had a horse, I'd ride it into town and ask the barista for a latte."
"A horse may be half the height of a man, but it is twice as wise."
"My horse is my best friend and I don't mind if he eats my lawn."
"The horse is a great source of power and peace; it gallops through the crazy winds effectively!"
"Horses are like potato chips; you can’t have just one."
"Life is too short to ride a dull horse!"
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"Why do horses love to run? Because it’s too hard to fly!"
"The only thing better than riding a horse is riding two horses at once!"
"Put a saddle on a cow, and it becomes a horse of a different color."
"To be a successful horse trainer, you must learn to hear what a horse says by looking at it."
"An honest horse will never kick you on the way out if you feed him well on the way in."
"You know you’re a horse person when you talk to your horse more than to your friends!"
"Horses are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"I have a stable relationship... with my horse!"
"The only thing worse than a bad day on the farm is a bad day trying to herd cats!"
"Horse riding is like a game of chess: to win, you must be smart, patient, and insightful!"
"You can’t put a saddle on a goose and call it a horse."
"Feeling blue? Just saddle up, and let the horse take you places!"
"Horses are the unicorns of our world. Magnificent and whimsical creatures!"
"If horses could talk, they would probably complain about being ridden all the time!"
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"Being kicked by a horse is one way to get ahead in life—just be careful which way you’re headed!"
"A man on a horse is spiritually, as well as physically, bigger than a man on foot."
"Behind every successful man is a surprised horse."
"The horse is God's most perfect creature."
"If you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up."
"A horse is like a violin; first, it must be tuned, and when tuned, it must be accurately played."
"My horse is my best friend. You can’t beat that!"
"I can make a general statement about horses – they’re much better than people."
"Don’t worry, the horse may not be very talented, but it’s the horse that will put a smile on your face!"
"Never underestimate the power of a horse. They can take you places you never knew you wanted to go."
"There’s no horseshoeing etiquette in this barn!"
"Horses are like potato chips. You can’t have just one!"
"I don’t ride horses. I ride people."
"Of course I ride a horse, and I do it quite well. The problem is that I don't continue to show up at the barn."
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"In riding a horse, we borrow freedom."
"You can’t make a race horse out of a mule."
"A horse can lend you its strength, but only if you lend it your heart."
"The horse may be the animal of choice in civilized countries, but to me, they’re still just another large, fearless animal with no concept of danger."
"Horses are such formal creatures. They never forget a thing, even embarrassing moments."
"Horses: Because people are too boring to ride."
"Don't worry about what people say; you're just a horse after all!"
"I like horses more than people. Horses don't lie."
"You want to get a horse? You better be ready for a wild ride!"
"A horse is worth more than riches, for once you own it, you own a piece of heaven."
"Horseback riding is not for the faint of heart; it’s for the charming, the brave, and those with an outrageous sense of humor!"
"To ride a horse is to ride the sky."
"You’ve got to lead a horse to water… and serenade them with a tune!"
"When I die, bury me on the horse I rode in on."
"If you think a horse is a big investment, try having a spouse."
"Why did the horse go behind the tree? Because he wanted to change his jockeys!"
"I don't have a carbon footprint. I just drive a Mustang."
"Horses are like icebergs. The tip of the iceberg is the part you can see. The rest of it is under the surface."
"I can’t get my horse to stop thinking about tacos."
"The best way to make a small fortune in the horse business is to start with a large one."
"My horse is as keen as a razor. He gets a cut every time he grazes."
"Some people say that money can’t buy happiness. But it can buy a horse, and that’s pretty close."
"Life is better with a horse, and a horse is better with a little attitude."
"I told my horse about the importance of exercise, and now he’s running circles around me."
"I finally got a horse that’s faster than my credit card bill."
"When in doubt, let your horse guide you. They always know where the grass is greener."
"Why do horses age so gracefully? Because they have all that hay."
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. You can only make him thirsty!"
"I'm not saying my horse is low-maintenance, but he gets upset if I forget the organic carrot delivery."
"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, 'Why the long face?'"
"If she says 'It’s not you, it’s me' with a horse next to her, it’s definitely you."
"Why did the pony get kicked out of the bar? He kept horsing around!"
"My horse likes to hang out with the cool cats—he’s quite the horse-about-town."
"Horseback riding is the only sport where you spend half the time falling off and the other half riding."
"What do you call a horse who lives next door? A neigh-bor!"
"Every horse has its quirks, and it usually involves food and a healthy dose of attitude."
"What kind of bread does a horse eat? A thoroughbred!"
"My horse is my therapist. He listens without judgment and knows I love carrots."
"Every time I see my horse, I feel like I’ve won the jackpot in the horse lottery."
"The fastest way to a horse's heart is through its stomach."
"A horse is the projection of peoples' dreams about themselves - strong, powerful, beautiful - the one thing that they can never do."
"If you think horses are expensive, try owning a dog."
"I don't know anything about being a horse, but I know a little about being a human."
"Life is all about balance. And one of the important balances is between riding and eating."
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink – only nag it until it’s thirsty."
"A horse may not be able to talk, but it can certainly make you feel as if all your problems are petty."
"Horses don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care."
"To some, the *intended* destination is the dream, but to others, the *journey* becomes the ride."
"My horse's only reason for living is to eat my money."
"It’s not the horse that makes a horseman, it’s the horseman that makes the horse."
"The best thing about riding is the opportunity to keep riding."
"An annoying fact about horses is that they have better things to do than what you want them to do – especially with the bridle on."
"Why do we call a horse that runs fast 'a racehorse' but the one that is slower just 'a horse'?"
"I don’t need therapy. I just need to ride my horse."
"When in doubt, move your horse’s feet."
"I never realized how much I loved horses until I started hanging out with my horse-loving friends."
"Horses are like potato chips. You can’t have just one."
"If you have a horse, you have a friend for life – unless you still have to pay them."
"Horses are the only animal that can defy the laws of economics."
"Every time I hear horse, I think 'saddle up!' – which is a shame, because I'm allergic to horses!"
"Some people are born to ride, while others are born to let their horses ride them."
"Horses – because sometimes, other humans just don’t get it."
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
"Wherever you go, go with all your heart – unless you’re on horseback, then try not to fall off!"
"The horse is a great source of strength; he's built like a brickhouse."
"If you’re feeling down, just remember that there’s a horse out there that would love to eat your fancy hat."
"Horses are like potatoes; you can never have too many."
"Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people."
"Why did the horse go behind the tree? Because he wanted to change his jockey."
"I can’t believe I galloped all the way here just for your carrot."
"There is no secret so close as that between a rider and his horse."
"What did the horse say when it fell? 'I've fallen and I can't giddy up!'"
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent… except your horse, after a bad ride."
"My horse doesn't care how I look, just how much I have in my pocket."
"A horse is worth more than riches."
"What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bor!"
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure… unless it involves getting a horse."
"To be a horse is to walk the path of commitment, loyalty, and a whole lot of hay."
"What’s a horse’s favorite sport? Stable tennis!"
"If you take care of your horse, your horse will take care of you... and your wallet."
"You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink… unless you have treats."
"If horses could speak, they would talk about their owners like we talk about our friends."
"I’ve got a horse that’s very good at learning new tricks – he seems to know what I’m thinking."
"A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character."
"Why don’t horses use cell phones? Because they prefer to hoof it!"
"The only time a horse stops is when he’s going to the vet. Then it's full speed ahead!"
"Horse hair is a sign of a true rider. Pet hair, a sign of a cat person."
"When I’m in a bad mood, I just go out to the barn and my horse makes everything better."
"Why did the pony get sent to his room? He wouldn’t stop horsing around!"
"A hungry horse will always be a little bit funny; they just can’t help but be in a ‘hay’ mood."
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