123 result(s) for Peter Griffin Quotes.
"I don’t care what you think. I’m gonna do what I want!"
"I say we take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure."
"Roadhouse!"
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I’m going to do what I do best: misdirect you. And this is a guy who can’t even do a perfect flip!"
"I'm a family guy, and that's all that matters."
"I can't help but feel that every time I see a kid, I think, 'I hope they grow up before they start making horrible decisions.'"
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"If you wanna be a millionaire, you need to be a little crazy."
"The worst thing about my family is the people."
"I think I forgot to turn off the oven! That's it; we’re moving!"
"I’m going to take a nap. Wake me up when the world’s a better place."
"When you look at me, you can’t help but think of a little, furry animal."
"You can’t be a hero if you’re not wearing the cape!"
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, I’ll be glad to do it for you."
"I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m lying."
"I used to be able to do a lot of things, and now I can’t do half of them."
"My mind is like a web browser; I have too many tabs open."
"You know, I’d love to help you with that. Just let me find my 'helping' pants!"
"I am the one who knocks!"
"Do you want to tell me what happened, or do I have to make it up myself?"
"Hey Lois, remember that time I--"
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"It’s a good day to be a great man!"
"I'd like to be a surgeon... Just kidding! I don't have the guts!"
"My favorite activities include lying, stealing, and being a general nuisance."
"I can't go to jail. I’m a politician! That's like a lawyer being honest!"
"Lois, if I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!"
"It’s not a bird, it’s a plane! It’s a guy in a suit!"
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who annoy you."
"I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I don’t need it."
"If I were a superhero, my name would be 'The Grappler.'"
"This is a terrible idea. But I’m going to do it anyway!"
"I am going to do what I do best. I’m going to lie, I’m going to cheat, I’m going to survive!"
"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
"Just because you're not perfect doesn't mean you're not beautiful."
"I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off!"
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"You can't change the past, but you can learn from it."
"I don’t know what’s worse, being jerked around by Lois or being jerked around by life."
"When you're a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are gonna be right about that."
"It's not that I can't do it. It's that I don't want to."
"I’m like a dog chasing cars. I wouldn’t know what to do if I caught one!"
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
"I’ve learned that if your life is not as glorious as you thought it would be, it’s still important to put on a good show."
"I don't know how to do that, but I'm informed that's a great way to meet people."
"I just want to be a nice guy, but it's a full-time job."
"I love you, but I just can't help it sometimes!"
"I want to be a guy who does things. So I’m going to do things!"
"I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is."
"Sometimes you gotta be a hero, and sometimes you gotta be a villain. It's all part of the game."
"Lois, if I was a character in a sitcom, I'd have the classic catchphrase, 'Freakin’ sweet!'"
"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!"
"You've gotta be freakin' kidding me!"
"What the deuce?"
"Life is a series of choices. One day, you’ll find the right one."
"I am a huge fan of the concept of being alive."
"I’m a Thinker, Lois, a deep thinker!"
"It’s not a lie, if you believe it."
"I’m not a bad guy; I’m just misunderstood!"
"I have a great idea! Let's burn this whole place to the ground!"
"I'm going to the moon!"
"Why don’t we just sit around and get drunk?"
"You see, Lois, I have a history with these sandwiches."
"Everybody has a right to be stupid; some people just abuse the privilege."
"It’s not about what you have, it’s about what you do with what you have."
"There are two kinds of people in this world: the people who are always right and the people who don’t know any better."
"I don’t mind being the stupid one as long as you guys stop pretending to be the smart ones."
"The only thing you can’t do is give up."
"I’m Peter Griffin, and I’m a risk-taker!"
"If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough."
"Whenever you’re sad, just remember that you could be stuck in a room with a bunch of idiots."
"I don’t need a license to drive a sandwich!"
"I was the nerdy kid who never left the house. And now I'm the fat guy who never leaves the house."
"Let’s face it, Lois, I’m not a very good person."
"I am a conduit of awesome."
"You know what really grinds my gears? People who suck."
"I can't believe it! I've been sitting here talking to this coffee cup!"
"I don't care what anybody says. I love you, and I want to be with you."
"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
"If I'm not back in five minutes... wait longer!"
"It’s all about the journey, not the destination."
"I’m not a bad guy, I’m just kind of dumb."
"You know, I really think my life would be better if I had a dog."
"I’m going to make a real mess of things, but only in an entertaining way."
"I wish I could be as thin as my patience."
"I’m not the smartest man in the world, but I can be a good man!"
"I’ve made a huge mistake!"
"I’m going to use my key to get home and open my fridge!"
"I’ve got to find a way to prove to myself that I’m not just a piece of meat."
"You can’t define me. I’m a magical creature!"
"I really think it’s great how you have your whole life ahead of you."
"Oh, I’m going to do something I should have done a long time ago: be a better person!"
"Nothing will brighten your day like a little bit of hugging!"
"I can’t wait to tell my kids about this—if I survive!"
"If you’re not drunk, you’re not having fun!"
"I’m off to do something awesome!"
"You have to know the rules to break them!"
"Family Guy is about friends and family, so you’ll always have a home with us!"
"Freakin' sweet!"
"Lois, if I'm not back in five minutes… wait longer!"
"I am Peter Griffin, and this is my favorite show on television."
"You know what really grinds my gears?"
"We're going to have a family picnic! And I want a sandwich, and a drink, and a cookie."
"I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I might actually start working out."
"With great mustache comes great responsibility."
"I’m a great dad! I’m a great dad! Hey, did I mention I’m a great dad?"
"Might as well face it, you’re addicted to love."
"I’m going to do what I do best: lie, steal, cheat, and survive!"
"You can’t just sit there and wait for things to happen. You have to make them happen!"
"I don’t care what anybody says. I’m only going to think about how it affects me."
"I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal."
"I’m going to be as idle as a caveman."
"Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Because if you are, I’m not doing it."
"I guess that’s what happens when you ‘Just do it,’ folks."
"Everyone is special, and so am I."
"Sometimes you just gotta raise a little hell."
"I don’t want a job. I just want to eat and not be homeless."
"I don’t know what’s worse: falling for a con artist or being one."
"If you don’t look good, we don’t look good!"
"I hate it when I have to explain a joke; it just deflates the moment."
"I’m going to make you an offer you can’t refuse… or at least one you’ll regret!"
"You know, I always wondered: What if I just did nothing? Would the world spin without me?"
"How do you like them apples?"
"I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perfectly sane!"
"It’s not a lie if you believe it!"
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