111 result(s) for Funny Bourbon Quotes.
"Bourbon is good for the soul."
"I did not know whether to drink it or use it to clean my rifle."
"There's no such thing as too much bourbon... it just might be too much of me!"
"Give me a woman who loves bourbon, and I will conquer the world."
"I like my whiskey like I like my women: aged 18 years."
"Bourbon: because no great story starts with someone eating a salad."
"I just want to be with my bourbon and my dog."
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"The best whiskey is the one you drink with your friends."
"Bourbon is the answer, but I can't remember the question."
"Some people are like a fine bourbon: they just get better with age."
"Bourbon and sanity are both overrated."
"A little bit of bourbon is better than a whole lot of regrets."
"I may have a problem with the bourbon, but the bourbon doesn’t seem to have a problem with me."
"Why did the bourbon cross the road? To get to the other side of happy!"
"Bourbon makes you feel like a million bucks…until you check your bank account."
"I love bourbon, but it doesn't love me back."
"Cheers to all of those who are courageous enough to splash a little bourbon into their coffee!"
"Bourbon: it's not just a drink, it's a lifestyle choice."
"I enjoy bourbon and good conversation, but optionally in that order."
"Bourbon is a whiskey that is distilled in America. To say that it is all made in Kentucky is like saying that all Champagne comes from France."
"There is no bad bourbon. There are only some bourbons that are better than others."
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"I think the best bourbon is the one that’s shared with friends."
"I could drink a case of you and still be on my feet."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy whiskey, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Whiskey makes you think you’re gonna be good at something. It turns out you’re just drunk."
"All I want is a good cup of coffee, a good book, and a glass of bourbon."
"Bourbon: a great way to get the taste of life’s realities out of your system."
"When life hands you lemons, trade them for bourbon."
"I drink bourbon, I drink good bourbon, and I drink bad bourbon."
"Bourbon is the honey of liquors."
"The best whiskey is the one you like best."
"I'd like to have a dog but I’ve been told I need to start with a house plant. So for now I’ll just stick with bourbon."
"Give me a whiskey, and I’ll give you a story."
"What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for."
"The only way to truly enjoy whiskey is to share it with someone you love... or at least someone you like."
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"Bourbon: for when life gets too serious."
"If you can't handle me at my bourbon-fueled best, then you don't deserve me at my sober worst."
"Never mix your drinks; keep your bourbon neat and your troubles diluted."
"Bourbon may not be the answer, but it's worth a shot."
"A balanced diet is a bourbon in each hand."
"Bourbon is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
"There’s a fine line between a self-confident and a cocky individual. To make shit worse, that line is usually scrawled in bourbon."
"I seek gratification in the bottle, that’s my bourbon philosophy."
"Bourbon is a great social lubricant—a great conversation starter. It’s a great excuse for awkward moments."
"In whiskey there is strength, in bourbon there must be humor."
"If you can't take a joke, you're probably a gin drinker."
"Everything is better with bourbon."
"Bourbon: helping people avoid their problems since the dawn of time."
"You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy bourbon, and that’s kind of the same thing."
"Bourbon is the answer. What was the question again?"
"I have a love affair with bourbon: it loves me back and inspires me to create."
"I'm on the patch; I've cut back to bourbon only on weekends."
"Good friends, good bourbon, and a great story make the best life moments."
"A bowl of ice cream and a glass of bourbon saves a lot of sanity."
"A bourbon a day keeps reality at bay."
"Judging by the number of people who drink bourbon, the world is clearly full of people who like to take life lightly."
"It’s not just a drink; it’s a mood!"
"My favorite workout is running out of bourbon."
"Bourbon: liquid optimism in a glass!"
"Whiskey makes you the person you want to be, at least until morning."
"Bourbon is a truth serum with a dash of charm."
"Sipping bourbon is like unwrapping a present; you never know how good it’s going to get."
"No one ever said, 'I regret drinking good bourbon.'"
"Bourbon is like a woman. You can't put your finger on what makes her special, but when you find her, you know it."
"I like my whiskey like my women: Two years old and full of bourbon."
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren’t as good as others."
"Good bourbon is a tonic for the soul. If that ain't therapy, I don’t know what it is."
"Bourbon: Because no great story started with a salad."
"I don't always drink bourbon, but when I do, I prefer to do it with friends."
"A fine bourbon can bring a tear to your eye – not just because it's strong but because it’s so darn good."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory."
"If you don’t like bourbon, you’re wrong."
"Bourbon: because sometimes, water just isn't enough."
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
"I drink to make other people interesting."
"When life gives you lemons, trade them for bourbon."
"Bourbon helps me figure out what I really feel like drinking and why I shouldn’t."
"I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not."
"Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment – usually after a few bourbons."
"Age is just a number for bourbon, the older the better."
"Bourbon is a friend, a companion during times of both joy and sorrow."
"Bourbon: the smoother side of life."
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol."
"Bourbon: the divine remedy for a challenging day!"
"As long as there's bourbon, there's hope."
"I only drink on two occasions: When it's my birthday and when it's not."
"Bourbon gives you a sense of confidence you might not have otherwise."
"I like my whiskey like my women: aged and mixed up with a bit of water."
"I can't tell you how much I love bourbon... But I can tell you how much I need it to get through the day!"
"Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough."
"Bourbon: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad."
"There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others."
"I drink bourbon because I can’t afford counseling."
"Bourbon is like a hug in a glass."
"A meal without bourbon is called breakfast."
"I tried to be a comedian, but my bourbon always did the punchlines better."
"Whiskey is liquid sunshine."
"Age is just a number. Unless you're bourbon, then it’s a badge of honor."
"I don't always drink bourbon, but when I do, I prefer to drink it carefully."
"In whiskey we trust."
"Bourbon: Because adulting is overrated."
"Bourbon: The one thing you need when life hands you lemons."
"What's the best way to drink bourbon? Straight up – instead of straight down!"
"There are two kinds of whiskey drinkers: those who drink bourbon, and those who wish they were."
"I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already."
"Life is too short to drink bad bourbon."
"I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me."
"Bourbon is like a really good friend – always there when you need it, and always knows how to make you feel better."
"Never underestimate the power of bourbon – it has the ability to turn a 'meh' day into a 'what a great day' instantly."
"A day without bourbon is like a day without sunshine."
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