Memorable Funny And Creative Quotes

26 result(s) for Funny And Creative Quotes.
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Unknown
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
Tommy Cooper
"I can’t believe I said that. I was being sarcastic!"
Unknown
"I always give 100% at work: 10% on Monday, 25% on Tuesday, 50% on Wednesday, 75% on Thursday, and 90% on Friday."
Unknown
"Behind every great man, there’s a woman rolling her eyes."
Jim Carrey
"Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?"
Robin Williams
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
Unknown
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"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
Steven Wright
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
Unknown
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese."
Billie Burke
"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that."
Unknown
"I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope."
Unknown
"A day without laughter is a day wasted."
Charlie Chaplin
"I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
Unknown
"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
Al McGuire
"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you."
Steven Wright
"I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
Unknown
"I would like to be known as a guy who didn’t take himself too seriously."
Jim Carrey
"I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
Unknown
"If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments."
Earl Wilson
"If you can’t laugh at yourself, make fun of other people."
Unknown
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"The only thing better than a friend is a friend with chocolate."
Linda Grayson
"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
Thomas Edison
"I finally know what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be in the club that pays you for doing what you love."
Unknown
"It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end."
Douglas Adams
"I don’t suffer from insanity— I enjoy every minute of it."
Unknown

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