116 result(s) for Sarcasm Quotes For T-Shirts.
"I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I love sarcasm. It’s like my second language."
"If I were any more sarcastic, I’d be a burrito."
"I did not say half the things I didn’t say."
"I’m not always sarcastic; sometimes I’m sleeping."
"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence."
"I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget at the same time."
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"I put the ‘Pro’ in procrastinate."
"I don’t always sarcasm, but when I do, I’m deadly serious."
"My sarcasm is like a boomerang – it always comes back."
"You’re not stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking."
"I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter."
"I’m not short; I’m fun-sized."
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already."
"It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has good taste."
"I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down."
"Life is too short to be serious all the time. So if you can't laugh at yourself, call me… I'll laugh at you."
"I’m not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that?"
"Sarcasm: because beating the crap out of people is illegal."
"I’m not sure how many problems I have, but I definitely know that math is one of them."
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"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach pictures."
"Don’t worry, I’m still catching up on all the moments I’ve missed while being sarcastic."
"Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair."
"Sarcasm: because beating the hell out of people is illegal."
"I thought I had seen the pinnacle of human ignorance… then I met you."
"I'm on the patch right now, but I keep swerving into sarcasm."
"I'm not just a mess; I'm a hot, steamy, sarcasm-filled mess."
"I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."
"If I had a dollar for every time I rolled my eyes, I’d be rich."
"I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding."
"Measure twice, cut once. Unless it's sarcasm, then just say it."
"Sometimes I wish I could turn back time… so I could watch you say something stupid again."
"I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"Welcome to my sarcastic world; take a nap, it’s safe here."
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"If I wanted to hear from an ass, I’d just go to the barn."
"I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time."
"It's not that I don't care; I just never cared to begin with."
"I'm not rude; I'm just honest. In a sarcastic sort of way."
"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew."
"I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it."
"The only thing standing between me and greatness is... well, me."
"I really want to see you, but I don't know how to make you disappear."
"I’m not great at the advice. I can give you a sarcastic comment though."
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut."
"I’m not sarcastic. I’m just not very nice."
"My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch."
"I don’t need your attitude. I’ve got one of my own."
"If I wanted to hear from an ass, I would have farted."
"You’re like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"I’m not crazy; my reality is just different from yours."
"I’m not lazy; I’m just on energy-saving mode."
"I put the 'pro' in procrastination."
"I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it."
"If you think I’m being sarcastic, you’re probably right."
"You’re never too old to be childish."
"I’m not ignoring you; I’m just prioritizing my time."
"The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"I’m not a morning person. Or a night person. I’m barely even a person."
"I can explain it. I can’t understand it for you."
"The difference between me and you is that I make this look good."
"I may be wrong, but I doubt it."
"Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue."
"I’m not bossy. I just have better ideas."
"I’m not short; I’m concentrated awesome."
"I'm not sarcastic. I'm just intelligent beyond your understanding."
"I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not always sarcastic. Sometimes I’m sleeping."
"I see your point, but I still think you’re an idiot."
"My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not."
"Oh, I’m sorry. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?"
"I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right."
"I’d explain it to you, but I left my English-to-idiot dictionary at home."
"If I had a dollar for every smart thing you say, I’d be broke."
"I’m not insulting you; I’m just describing you."
"It’s cute how you think you know everything."
"I’m not sarcastic. I’m just really, really clever."
"I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in?"
"You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room."
"I’m not really a people person. I’m more of a ‘leave me alone’ kind of person."
"I’m not saying I hate you, but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone."
"You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."
"I’m not shy. I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you."
"I’m rolling my eyes so hard I can't see."
"I’d call you a tool, but that implies you’re actually useful."
"I’m not lazy; I’m on energy-saving mode."
"You’re like a cloud. When you disappear, it’s a beautiful day."
"Keep talking; I always yawn when I’m interested."
"I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing."
"I’d ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high."
"I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you."
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right."
"I don't have the energy to pretend to like you today."
"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it."
"Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am."
"Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice."
"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."
"I'm great at multitasking; I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."
"I’m not a complete idiot; some parts are missing."
"I’m really good at my job; I can waste time and be unproductive all day."
"I would agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong."
"I’m not short— I’m fun size."
"You're never too old to learn something stupid."
"If I wanted to hear from an asshole, I’d fart."
"Don't worry; the spider is smaller than you."
"You're like a software update. Whenever I see you, I think, 'Not now.'"
"I don’t need a hair stylist; my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning."
"I’m not crazy. My reality is just different from yours."
"I wish I could be as thin as my excuses."
"Maybe you should eat makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too."
"If you can't convince them, confuse them."
"I'm not bossy; I just have better ideas."
"I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me beach wallpapers."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure."
"Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth."
"I don’t care what people think. People are stupid."
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