116 result(s) for Drew Carey Quotes.
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
"You can imagine me as a kid growing up in the Cleveland area. Except sort of poor and black."
"I'm not going to wear a red dress. I'm not that brave."
"There's nothing wrong with being a Conservative and coming up with a Conservative point of view. Excuse me, but I think they're just as stupid as the Liberals."
"My father didn't tell me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it."
"Oh, you stand there with your coat hanger in your hand and you call that art."
"Having standards is a really good thing. You know, standards like double-dipping is weird. I take a dip, I eat it, end of story."
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"My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire department."
"Life is strange. You keep moving and keep moving. Before you know it, you look back and think, 'What was that?'"
"I don't think I'm necessarily drawn to the dark side of things. It's just that I like characters that are people we can relate to."
"Be so good they can't ignore you."
"You can't have a million dollar dream with a minimum wage work ethic."
"Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door."
"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful."
"The only way to achieve the impossible is to believe it is possible."
"Success is not in what you have, but who you are."
"The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today."
"Believe you can and you're halfway there."
"My heroes are people who are resilient, who don't give up on themselves no matter what."
"I came from nothing, and if you work hard, you can achieve great things."
"Having a purpose makes it impossible to quit."
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"Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could."
"I learned the hard way about not giving up when I was 13 and my grandfather died. That was a very hard period in my life."
"I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted."
"There's no question about it, there is an education crisis in America. And everybody knows it, but they'd rather fight about prayer in school. That's more fun than talking about education."
"The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends."
"I can't tell people as a parent, ‘do as I say not as I do’. I have to live by the same rules I set."
"If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?"
"You can't keep changing men, so you settle for changing your lipstick."
"People who can change and change again are so much more reliable and happier than those who can't."
"Nothing serious can be lost by going all out."
"God never shuts one door without opening another."
"I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later."
"It doesn't matter how old people get, they never stop thinking the phone will ring and they'll be asked to go on an adventure."
"If you make your money by pushing papers and your job is not that stressful, you still lose motivation in your 50s and just sort of hang around waiting to retire."
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"Life is all about forgiveness. No matter what you do in life, you have to forgive yourself."
"I always tell kids when they're going to audition: Act like your parents are watching and you really want them to be proud of you."
"Having the freedom to leave when you want, it just gives your mind a freedom that you can't get in a cubicle."
"My success just evolved from working hard at the business at hand each day."
"I like Clive Owen, I like Boris Karloff, but there are days when I like a certain amount of Jason Bateman."
"Now everybody's got a crazy non-distributed TV show around the corner somewhere, and it's good."
"I even went solo for a while to recharge, it was a big deal, but I don't like it."
"Adam Sandler had a choice of losing or being humiliated. Nobody gives you a shot at losing anymore."
"From kindergarten to junior high, we gain the skills, but mostly the ability to dream."
"There's no substitute for working on something you really want to succeed in. It's a lot of fun, and it's a lot of extra work."
"People like to play it loose and pick out actors for their upcoming show. It's exciting to have the choice."
"I have not found myself getting lost in the middle of nowhere yet. It's not out of the question."
"Not a minute goes by when I'm not thinking about my next meal. And the one after that."
"Never open a book solely by its cover. There's no telling where the best stories hide."
"You have to be comfortable in the body you are in. I think it's more important than being fit."
"I'll take anything I can make fun of as a comedy piece. Nothing is off-limits."
"One of the best things about being a comedian is entertaining people and making them laugh."
"I look at going into the radio booth as more of a job. It's not very creative, but it's fun."
"Life is too short to laugh just once. Always find a reason to smile and giggle."
"When you're a comedian, you're just hopefully funny."
"Losing weight is not easy, but nothing worth doing is ever easy."
"You can't do anything if you're too scared to try."
"My goals are to have one laugh and one cry a day."
"Make sure you hang out with the right people."
"I'm a big dog lover, and I love dogs."
"You have to look out for the small people."
"Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma."
"Humor is like a rubber sword. It allows you to make a point without drawing blood."
"I had a really rough childhood."
"Don't put your life on hold so that you can dwell on the unfairness of past hurts."
"Make sure you always make time for your friends and family."
"You aren't wealthy until you have something money can't buy."
"Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament and for anything I know it may be glandular."
"People are loved, not things. If we work to make things, we lose the chance to love one another."
"Every day you live you are closer to dying. Make sure you are living the life you want."
"Kindness costs nothing and means everything."
"If you have to try to fit in, you're in the wrong place."
"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives."
"Sometimes you have to accept that some people are jerks and stop trying to see the good that isn't there."
"Life is short, so learn from your mistakes and keep moving forward."
"Laughter is an instant vacation."
"God never laughs at people, but he laughs with people, because people laugh at themselves."
"My childhood was rough, we were poor and everyone made fun of me, and I didn't even have money for lunch."
"Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you."
"You have to be really smart in comedy to be funny without being vulgar."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you."
"Oh man. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here. I know that. Every moment that I'm here, is a moment that I'm not at home."
"Happiness is first and foremost a state of mind, a dimension of your existence, fitting you and only you most appropriately."
"I came from a broken home and sought refuge in the streets. That's where I'd pick scraps of my parents' lives, find something sweet and put it together."
"Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other things. Life is tough, darling. Life is hard."
"I would love to be able to do both. To be able to write and host would be great for me. I think if I could do both, I could always work on one when the other's not going well."
"There are moments when Harvey Goldberg can seem like one of the sanest characters in my life, maybe because many of his lines were actually said by my own father."
"Jarren I made a new friend today. Guess what Jason brought to lunch? A peach granola botox juice conscious of no wheat. No Wheat! What an asshole."
"Cleveland is my hometown, and the Browns are my team. I feel that part of the reason I have such a lively and balanced life is because I have each and every one of their games to look forward to."
"I think the two things you have to do if you want to do something is to believe you can do it, and then give it your best shot."
"I stand by my original answer. They’re just like 21 year-olds, but now it’s legal and they’re more expensive."
"It's crucial that we have a clear idea of how comic books and superheroes evolved."
"Comedy is the most logical and ecological way of being in the world."
"I wish everyone was like Hapi. I wish they were willing to cheer each other on. He knows how to love and forgive."
"We forget that laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward."
"No matter what, we're all human. We all suffer. We all love, laugh, and cry. Love should be the only thing that drives us in life."
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar."
"People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."
"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on the earth. Then I ask myself the same question."
"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it."
"Oh, you did something wrong? Sorry, I'm allergic to revenge. I break out in a rash if I get even."
"I'm not an idiot. I know what I'm doing."
"Don't live in the past, but always learn from it."
"If you show up late, you don't get credit. The world runs on karma, and karma runs on deadlines."
"You have to be willing to make mistakes regularly; there is nothing wrong with it. One learns through mistakes."
"Comedy is acting out optimism."
"Happiness is hanging out with friends, looking back, and laughing at something nobody else thinks is funny."
"The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand."
"You know, the funny thing about Lassie is that when she barks, it doesn't sound like a dog barking. It sounds like a man going, 'Hey!'"
"Make your life spectacular, always."
"Don't let perfection get in the way of getting something done."
"There's nothing more drunken than someone trying too hard not to be drunk."
"Live your life, sing your song. Not full of expectations. Not for the ovations."
"You have to be true to yourself, and you have to be not afraid to say whatever it is you have to say."
"When I'm in charge, every Friday will be 'National Cadillac Nachos Day.'"
"Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
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